A complicated issue...

I'm currently an English student (male, 20 years old) and I am living with my girlfriend of over two years now (she is 27). We had a great time dating for the first 8 months until she had to move back to her own country (France) to finish her degree for a year. She came back and lives with me now while I finish my own degree.

I felt we were falling apart quite a bit since we moved in due to constant arguments, lack of communication, a slight fizzling of the romance and little sexual encounters. I have pondered breaking up with her for a while but couldn't because I still cared for her very much. And when she said she was considering moving to South Korea to teach English for a year I thought that maybe if she went ahead with it it would be best for us to break up. I mentioned it to her if she went that I would like to break up as I couldn't do a long term relationship again. I am beginning to fear that I fell in love with this girl moreso because of the 'shock' culture difference and I have merely suffered from a prolonged case of "fleeting Erasmus love"

Here's where 'the plot' thickens.

She has decided not to go on the work trip anymore as she doesn't want to have to make new friends and she want's to stay with me. After that things picked up again but went downhill again for me quickly. Besides from the reasons from before another is because of a girl I have met (who is 25 and from Austria). This new girl differs from my girlfriend in that she is more outgoing, adventurous, loose and energetic like me. We have only known each other for four months now but I find ourselves deeply connected. We can simply talk for hours on end with no other distractions (and have done so many times), we have great fun together. Shes never afraid to ask for advice from me on emotional matters and we are open with each other. I simply cannot stop thinking about the woman. I still see my current girlfriend and feel good inside. But when I go to sleep at night I think of this other woman. I know its not lustuous because I don;t have "sexy dreams" or think of her that way. I think of someone I can travel the world with and share in its delights.

Here's where more issues come into play. This other woman has been in a relationship for several years (at least 1 year longer than mine). He lives in Austria currently (so they have been apart for a few months). From our discussions I think that they might break up in the future if he doesn't wish to move to England with her. Another issue is that she has become quite good friends with my current girlfriend as she met her around the same time I did. (We have a very linked circle of friends)

I truly feel like a terrible person for having these feelings. I don't want to break my girlfriends heart as I know she is still deeply in love with me. But I don't have the same connection to her anymore like I feel I now am developing quickly with this other girl. Even if I didn't meet this other woman I think I would be breaking up with my girlfriend when the summer comes.

Any advice would be appreciated, I have been suffering from depression since Christmas due to this seemingly hopeless situation . (have suffered before)

Thanks,

If Austria is involved AND is now friends with your current gf...she won't date you on both counts. There is a girl code...and you don't poach a friends guy. Plus Austria has a bf.

You can't be a sacrificial lamb and stay with someone just so their heart won't break. Obviously this relationship has run its course, so yes, you need to break up with her. The other woman has a bf, so she is not someone I'd be spending a lot of time with. There are many other women out there who you could have chemistry with, and at your age, I'm sure you meet oodles of them at college and at clubs.

I am in a fairly small city, and I generally don't interact much with woman my age (i.e. most of the college population) as I find it hard to get someone who is challenging to me socially and intellectually.

I kind of feel you might repeat what has just happened to you already. You found a girl from another country (France) and fell in love of her because of culture differences and such. Things went great, and then you lost interest when she had to go off and do another things. Then now, you met another girl except this time from Austria, and you feel attracted to her. Maybe you'll lose interest in her as well if she ever goes back to her country to visit family or something. Just a guess.

Either way, I think you really like "new things" because you mentioned you'd love to travel the world. I can relate totally because I'm the same way I can get bored if I live the same boring life everyday without new cultures and people and experiences. I think you should break up with the France girl because if she's going away for a whole year that's going to make you go crazy! Plus I think you'd most likely like dating casually for now anyway until you find who's right for you. I know it's hard to break up with someone but it's even harder to stay with someone and be miserable and then end up breaking up with them in the future.

It's a mistake to leapfrog from one relationship to another, so leave the new crush out of the equation to simplify your steps. You're in a relationship that doesn't make you happy--so get out of it.

Sure, simple and easy are two different things--but since you can't do anything about anyone else while you're stuck in a relationship where you don't want to be, address that first.