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  1. #1
    Silver Member mr.mac's Avatar
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    does she want me to break up with her?

    I've been thinking for a while now that perhaps my girlfriend wants me to break up with her. The latest example was this past Saturday. It was my birthday and we had plans to go to my mother's house for dinner. She came to my house first and was acting very strange. Very quiet. In the car she was quiet and only gave me short responses. A lot of "uh-huh" and "yeah" responses. So, we get there and she's mostly all right. She's usually quiet in group settings so there wasn't anything odd about that, but then we leave and she's silent in the car on the way home. We get to my house and she sits in a chair by herself, not on the couch next to me. And she just watches the Olympics. Now, I'm sort of annoyed. I am very affectionate and I long for affection from her...and she knows this. For her to not want to sit by me, kiss me, hug me, let alone actually talk to me, was very disappointing. I decided to go to bed at 10, so we did and she got in bed without saying a word to me. I finally said goodnight and I kissed her and went to sleep. The next morning...same thing. I make us breakfast, we eat in bed and she says nothing to me. After we finish and we lie there for a while I just turn on a movie. When it's over she gets up, gets ready to go home and then she goes home. Later in the day I send her a text saying that I'm not sure what i did wrong, but it feels like she's breaking up with me. She responded with "I was having a bad day. Not everything is about you." So, the one day a year that actually is about me is not about me because she's having a bad day? I don't get it. It just feels like she was being incredibly selfish. Like she decided that her bad mood was going to rule the day. I also don't get why if she was having a bad day that she didn't say something to me or let me know what her deal was. Instead she acts like she'd rather be anywhere but with me on my birthday and, honestly, it really hurt me. So, I guess, I'm wondering if this is her way of getting me to end our relationship???

  2. #2
    Silver Member curious11's Avatar
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    Its a possibility. Usually what our heart is telling us is true. But, for the most part, we ignore it.

    The only thing you can do is sit back and relax and just be happy with yourself. Take the focus off her, and dont bug out about it. Take a few nights and have some fun. Give her some space.
    "If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you its yours, if it doesnt it never was."

  3. #3
    Platinum Member alli's Avatar
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    I would ask her why she was having a bad day & see what she says. Kind of sounds like she probably wouldn't give you a straight answer anyway.

    If she continues acting wierd, I'd straight up ask her if she wants to break up.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Sanesoul's Avatar
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    Given your history with her, I'm not sure I would have the mental energy to stay with her. Despite whether she wants to break up with you or not, she is messing with your head and making you miserable.

    I would rethink the relationship and decide if all this is worth it.
    The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents--H.P. Lovecraft

    If I got rid of my demons, I'd lose my angels--Tennessee Williams

    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

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  6. #5
    Silver Member mr.mac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by curious11 View Post
    Its a possibility. Usually what our heart is telling us is true. But, for the most part, we ignore it.

    The only thing you can do is sit back and relax and just be happy with yourself. Take the focus off her, and dont bug out about it. Take a few nights and have some fun. Give her some space.
    I agree and I'll try.

    Quote Originally Posted by alli View Post
    I would ask her why she was having a bad day & see what she says. Kind of sounds like she probably wouldn't give you a straight answer anyway.

    If she continues acting wierd, I'd straight up ask her if she wants to break up.
    I asked what was wrong. And I mentioned that it felt like I had done something to upset her. She said I did not.

    Quote Originally Posted by Insane Heart View Post
    Given your history with her, I'm not sure I would have the mental energy to stay with her. Despite whether she wants to break up with you or not, she is messing with your head and making you miserable.

    I would rethink the relationship and decide if all this is worth it.
    Insane Heart, I didn't realize you were up to date on all my relationship craziness. Nutty, eh?

    As far as rethinking...she sent me a text saying that we had to have "a serious talk"

  7. #6
    Platinum Member ToF's Avatar
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    I just went through and read a lot of your posts, and it sounds like you've had A LOT of issues with this girl.

    May I ask...what about this relationship is worth it to you?
    "Yes, you'll have problems. But they'll be your problems. And besides, what would you do without them? The problems are what get you out of bed in the morning. They're what makes succeeding at things such a goddamned rush. You can't be a dragon slayer without dragons."

    [Formerly known as TwistOfate08]

  8. #7
    Platinum Member oldenoughtoknow's Avatar
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    It sounds like she is ongoing bad news. Not even any birthday nookie? No B&B? Sheesh! That's happened to me once before, and I turned it into a huge argument before "my day" was over - we broke up two months later. She obviously doesn't have any respect for you. And then she had the nerve to tell you to not think it's all about YOU?!? Don't put up with that kind of crap. Life is TOO short.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    This stuff is still going on???
    I think the serious talk is way over due. Before the talk think about what you want out of life and a relationship. Has any of this been what you want? I don't think so.
    Sharing the good times and bad is what relationships are all about and she wouldn't tell you what she was feeling?
    I won't write what I first thought when I read your post but I will tell you I have a very bad feeling for some reason. For a moment leave her out of everything and think about just you and your life and what you want. Then bring her back into the picture. What do you see?
    One last thing. Say you were single and your friend wanted to fix you up with this girl and he described your gf to a tee. I mean everything! All the drama, all the problems and the numerous other things. Would you go out with her?

    Lost
    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
    Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace and happiness;
    Trusting that I may be reasonably happy in this life and forever.

  10. #9
    Silver Member mr.mac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwistOfate08 View Post
    I just went through and read a lot of your posts, and it sounds like you've had A LOT of issues with this girl.

    May I ask...what about this relationship is worth it to you?
    When she wants to be fun and be in a good mood I have lots of fun with her. I keep hoping that she will trend towards being in an agreeable mood more than not, but she is regressing, obviously.

    Quote Originally Posted by richpart View Post
    It sounds like she is ongoing bad news. Not even any birthday nookie? No B&B? Sheesh! That's happened to me once before, and I turned it into a huge argument before "my day" was over - we broke up two months later. She obviously doesn't have any respect for you. And then she had the nerve to tell you to not think it's all about YOU?!? Don't put up with that kind of crap. Life is TOO short.
    No birthday nookie. A peck hello and a peck goodnight was all I got. I don't even mind the lack of sex, but the coldness that I felt from her really stung (and still does).

    Quote Originally Posted by lostandhurt View Post
    This stuff is still going on???
    I think the serious talk is way over due. Before the talk think about what you want out of life and a relationship. Has any of this been what you want? I don't think so.
    Sharing the good times and bad is what relationships are all about and she wouldn't tell you what she was feeling?
    I won't write what I first thought when I read your post but I will tell you I have a very bad feeling for some reason. For a moment leave her out of everything and think about just you and your life and what you want. Then bring her back into the picture. What do you see?
    One last thing. Say you were single and your friend wanted to fix you up with this girl and he described your gf to a tee. I mean everything! All the drama, all the problems and the numerous other things. Would you go out with her?

    Lost
    Still going on. You make lots of good points. And after my original post she has said all sorts of random things to me. Things that were "disturbing" about my birthday night. It was like everything I said was analyzed and taken out of context to the point that she is questioning me about everything that said to other people. For example I mentioned to my brother's new girlfriend that we should all get together for game night. I have other friends that want to do things, but we can never get things worked out, so I randomly thought, on my birthday, that a game night would be a fun way for everyone to get together and socialize. That was apparently disturbing. I have no idea why. I don't know if it was disturbing because she doesn't like to play games or because I didn't first discuss it with her. I have literally no idea. It popped into my head and I threw it out there. It wasn't like I just wrote a new scripture passage into the bible of our life or anything. Just a random thought. She is making me want to scream the f-word.

  11. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by mr.mac View Post
    I've been thinking for a while now that perhaps my girlfriend wants me to break up with her. The latest example was this past Saturday. It was my birthday and we had plans to go to my mother's house for dinner. She came to my house first and was acting very strange. Very quiet. In the car she was quiet and only gave me short responses. A lot of "uh-huh" and "yeah" responses. So, we get there and she's mostly all right. She's usually quiet in group settings so there wasn't anything odd about that, but then we leave and she's silent in the car on the way home. We get to my house and she sits in a chair by herself, not on the couch next to me. And she just watches the Olympics. Now, I'm sort of annoyed. I am very affectionate and I long for affection from her...and she knows this. For her to not want to sit by me, kiss me, hug me, let alone actually talk to me, was very disappointing. I decided to go to bed at 10, so we did and she got in bed without saying a word to me. I finally said goodnight and I kissed her and went to sleep. The next morning...same thing. I make us breakfast, we eat in bed and she says nothing to me. After we finish and we lie there for a while I just turn on a movie. When it's over she gets up, gets ready to go home and then she goes home. Later in the day I send her a text saying that I'm not sure what i did wrong, but it feels like she's breaking up with me. She responded with "I was having a bad day. Not everything is about you." So, the one day a year that actually is about me is not about me because she's having a bad day? I don't get it. It just feels like she was being incredibly selfish. Like she decided that her bad mood was going to rule the day. I also don't get why if she was having a bad day that she didn't say something to me or let me know what her deal was. Instead she acts like she'd rather be anywhere but with me on my birthday and, honestly, it really hurt me. So, I guess, I'm wondering if this is her way of getting me to end our relationship???
    I don't think she's trying to get you to end the relationship-- but I think the work a relationship requires is really off balance. If she's truly that selfish you should take a few weeks to yourself and figure out if it's what you want. Plus, a few weeks of "space" might actually help her realize that you're truly important and you do matter too. When I was about 1 year into my relationship mine was treating me the same way; he took me for granted. I decided to clear my head and took a one week vacation to get away from stress. I didn't call and made it a point to leave my phone off just to be away from the norm-- when I got back, boy was he different! It gave him the chance to miss me.. sometimes that works wonders.

    I do commend you though, not a lot of guys would go through what you are (I read your prior posts). She needs to realize that you're a prize and I think you need to realize it as well. There are tons of girls that would appreciate your actions, I recommend you re-evaluate the situation and find out what you truly want. Put her wants aside and act on what you want and what makes you happy. Life shouldn't be a struggle all of the time, nor should relationships.

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