This girl won't leave my boyfriend alone!
Alright, well my boyfriend and I have been going out for almost a month now. There seems to be a problem with this one other girl though. I went to public school with her and we never really got along to well... but even so I don't hold a grudge. Anyways it turns out that she likes him, but he has been making it perfectly clear that he's got a girlfriend (me) who he adores. Anyways she has still been hitting on him and doesn't seem to have respect for the fact that he's with me and he doesn't like her. For example, on a bus ride home from a school trip the girl that likes him was dared to kiss another girl. She secretly told the other girl that she'd just pretend it was my boyfriend. (and apparently she was trying to get people to dare her to kiss him) The other girl told my boyfriend this and he got really weirded out, because... well its just weird. Apparently she continually comes into one of his classes and tries to flirt with him and touch him, of course he doesn't let her.
My biggest problem though was Valentines Day. My school has a tradition of writing all the students names on idividual paper hearts and putting them in the front hall. You are supposed to find your name and give it to your valentine. Well it turns out that she just decided to go steal his name off the wall. I don't know... I find it kind of weird... cause its just not really the thing to do if that person has a boyfriend or girlfriend. Anyways, he suspected that she took it and ended up having to ask for it back so he could give it to me and she reluctantly gave it back. It just really pissed me off, not the fact that she had the heart, but that she had the nerve to take it.
I'm not worried about my boyfriend at all because he constantly tells me how much he adores me and all that stuff that boyfriends do. The big problem is that this girl just can't seem to take the hint, and she's really beginning to creep him out, and make me mad. I just don't know what to do to get her to leave us alone. It's almost as if she believes that if she bothers him enough it will make him want to get rid of me and go for her. Which I am not concerned with as I know it won't happen. But this girl just doesn't seem to understand that key point. My boyfriend is a really nice guy and he doesn't want to hurt her feelings, so I have a feeling if anyone's going to stand up to her it will have to be me. I just don't know what to do... any help would be appreciated. Thanks a million! ~skittles~
I was kind of in your situation when I was 17. This girl wouldn't leave my bf alone! However, upon closer examination, I think he was enjoying my getting angry with the situation, and he wasn't really telling her to "bugger off." I think he secretly got a kick out of both girls really liking him. He'd also say things to me like, "I love you. I'm crazy about you. But, I don't want to hurt her feelings." I said, "It's not hurting her feelings! It's just being honest and letting her move on!" Finally, I got sick of it and dumped him. (And he came crawling back 3 years later... but that's another story.)
Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is, has he told her, "You have no chance with me! I love my gf! Leave us alone." If he has, then don't worry. She's just nuts. I don't think that there's anything that you can do except be cool. I think your bf will really like your poise if you don't let this nutcase get to you.
But, if he hasn't told her to leave him alone, he needs to. If he doesn't want to tell her that... then... I think the problem is with your bf, not this other girl.
I wish you well! This is a tough situation.
I had the same exact problem! This one girl, who had known my boyfriend since elementary school, was constantly flirting with him, even though he was my boyfriend. She'd steal my seat in class next to him, proudly announce to everyone that he was her hero, even follow him around with a video camera! My boyfriend had no idea what to do, since he didn't want to be mean to her. Finally, she just gave up, realizing that my boyfriend wasn't going anywhere and that he loves me. Now she got a boyfriend of her own, and everyone's happy again.
I know this situation is extremely annoying to you, but I'm not sure if there's anything you can do directly. Your boyfriend obviously cares for you greatly, and I'm sure this girl will finally get the hint and move on.
This is not a fun situation, and I wish you luck. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk
This has happened to me too. Unlike your man, mine enjoyed it and egged her on to make me more angry. He's a musician and he kept telling me things like "She's my only FAN! I can't p*ss her off." having been a groupie and a fan myself I know his band has tons of fans. This was before we were married and I almost dumped him over it. He came very close to cheating with her.
I wouldn't worry about your bf at all. He has shown more maturity about this whole situation in High School than my man did at 29. I think you guys will be fine.
Came the last night of sadness
And it was clear that she couldn't go on
The door was open and the wind appeared
The candles blew and then disappeared
The curtains flew and then he appeared...
saying "don't be afraid..."
Today, 01:35 AM
I have the same problem!!! It is so annoying what some girls will do. Seriously, they need to get the hint!!! Right now, my boyfriend is living with his friend (the girl who wants him). We have been together for over five years, we both just got out of the Marine Corps and for reasons I don't care to explain, we recently... just don't have a house. Anyway, we both had to find a place to live. So my mom let me stay with her for a while but my boyfriend can't stay here, and the girl that likes him jumped at the chance to let him stay over with her for a while. At first I was grateful for this too, I knew for sure that he doesn't like her, even though at first we didn't know that she's in love with him. Soon she started trying to make him into her best friend, taking him out as much as possible so he wouldn't have time to see me. Everytime I'm over she pouts and one day when we went to buy condoms she actually locked herself in the room and cried. (She's not very discreet yet doesn't expect that we knew.) Just yesterday she bought them both tickets to a really big concert without telling him, so of course he had to go, and while they were there, she tried to kiss him during OUR song. My boyfriend is getting sick of it... He said that during our song he knew she was going to try to do something, so when it came on he "dissappeared" to the bathroom or somewhere. But she found him and tried to hold him and gave him a kiss on the cheek and on the mouth! Anyway we're both getting really sick of this girl. Even though she's trying to bribe him will all this stuff, we don't care about having a place to stay if it means we can't be together. When we were younger all we wanted was to be together, and we'd stay with each other on the streets if we had to (which was often). So today he's going to thank her for her hospitality and politely leave her place. We don't know where we're going to stay, but it doesn't matter. We don't need much, only each other. But I swear to God, that girl was getting on my LAST nerves...
I have the exact same problem now, except she's definitely pushing the envelope by telling me he'd actually choose her over me, when he made it obviously clear that he chose me.
she even had the nerve to put up a picture of her and another annoying * * * * * kissing him on both cheeks. that made me really mad, but i didn't let her know this because i knew that'd make her happy.
he's told her and me that he wants nothing to do with her, but she's such a * * * * * (she's already had sex with his best friend, who has a baby and is "in love" with another girl) and she keeps trying to talk to him and add his account on every website, as if nothing has happened!
she's annoying as * * * * . but the most horrifying detail is that he lives in canada, and so does she, while i'm stuck in california, US. when i turn 18, i'm moving up there with him (i want to see him again so badly).
CURRENTLY, I'm going to tell my boyfriend that he needs to tell her that she needs to apologize to me because I mean the world to him (which i do). if i get up there, and she tries to talk to him, i'm going to kick the * * * * out of that * * * * * -* * * * * so hard that she won't be able to take care of her poor baby that she just had.
that's MY solution, and I'm perfectly content with it
I HAVE A PROBLEM JUST LIKE THAT!!!
my old bestfriend jasmine broke up with her boyfriend because there was too much "pressure" and she knew i liked him and he liked me.. because we were like bestfriends and he wanted to go out with me.. but because i didnt want to go behind my friends back i asked her if it was ok with her because earlier that day she had been flirting with him!!!:\
but because she said i could go out with him i did because i was madly in love with him.. anyways... ever since i was going out with him she has absolutely hated me.. she has been flirting with him.. making me jealous... saying that he was looking at her ass and her FLAT CHESTED boobs:|
and i just didnt know what to do because i had, had ENOUGH
so i go up to her one day and say if you dont * * * * ing back off my boyfriend... there will be a serious problem.. ever since that day.. i havent spoken to her (even though we are in the same grade) she hasnt flirted with him NOTHING... its sooooo good...
so my advice for you is..
go stand up to that * * * * * and tell her your side of the story.. im sure she would hate it if you were in her position and she was in yours...
Originally Posted by skittles_109
Mod Note: This thread is 2 years old.
By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. - Confucius
You have a right to experiment with your life. You will make mistakes. And they are right too.- Anais Nin
|Caring professional willing to listen and help whether you're having relationship issues with parents/children/or other loved ones. Contact me now!|
|ALL forms of relationship issues addressed. Marriage, Divorce, LGBT, BDSM, Alternative Lifestyle, Online Dating and Relationships, Co-Dependence, Sex Addiction|
|Unhappy? Confused? Depressed? Jealous? Angry at your partner? Tired of being misunderstood? Whatever your relationship issues I can help you address them!|
|25+ YEARS EXPERIENCE. Intervention specialist and counselor who helps couples and families repair and rescue their relationships. "generously affordable"|
|Licensed Professional Counselor. 30yrs working with couples & families to empower individuals and their relationships. Exploring the opportunities for joy and contentment.|