Today was not so bad. I talked to a girl and she was hinting at going out, talking about the nightlife at this one place. So I looked at her deeply then I let my eyes drift away, I was thinking of you and wondering if I'd feel guilt. The girl took it wrong and started to backpedal and soon her conversation dwindled to silence but she still stood there looking at me. Some apprehension, curiosity then almost sad resignation. I stopped it right there and asked her to tell me about the place again, it sounded fun. She smiled and got bubbly, animated again.
I will pick her up on Friday, we are going to some nice restaurant she says I'll like. Her treat. I won't let her do that just as you never paid for anything, it was always my treat.
I like her, she's funny and she's interesting. She digs my military background, finds it sexy and dangerous. I laugh at that because I'm not that guy anymore. She's a few years too late.
I like her for one more thing, she knows about you and she knows I've come from the brink of something heinous. She knows I barely crawled back, fingernails bloody and all that. She told me she'd wait until I healed, I believe her. I don't trust yet but I believe her and she is mean enough to handle you personally if you come around. So don't.
I went to the MW and got a new suit, threw in a crisp linen shirt and power tie. It was nice looking nice. I think she'll be impressed and too bad for you, I know you miss the socializing and the creative people I hung out with. They don't miss you, my only wish is that had told me what they already knew about you. I'll guilt them on that for awhile before I forgive.
Goodbye. I don't care to be sad anymore. Goodbye.