A traumatizing experience...

[Balbina]

I wasn't sure exactly which topic to put this thread under, but I figured I keep it basic and stick to SEX.

 

The other day I was talking to an old friend of mine online who had just come back from university for the holidays. He invited me to come by his place and hang out with him and some friends...as I wasn't busy, I went over there.

 

We started out having a good time...a little light drinking and joking around. He had his buddy over and this other girl stopped by who turned out to be pretty cool as well. We're all hanging out in the room when I decide to get cigarettes...so his buddy takes me to get them.

 

When we get back, we end up hanging out in his car for a couple of smokes chatting it up, as I knew his buddy before through passing. We get back inside and we enter his room and his buddy immediately closes the door.

 

They were sitting on the bed, I could see in my peripheral vision. I sat down on the couch and I look over and she's in her bra and underwear...not only that but she is on top of him, riding him. They were HAVING SEX right in front of me.

 

And she just giggled and said she'd "never done this before". I was frozen. I didn't move or do anything or even look away for a few minutes. I just couldn't believe that there I was looking at this girl I just met, riding a buddy of mine.

 

Then I just got up and left the room. My friend followed me out saying "Sorry. I thought you'd be cool with this kind of stuff"...which insulted me and send me off on a rant.

 

I felt disgusted the whole night and most of yesterday...mostly because I was there and I felt I was a part of it, even though I wasn't...and maybe because I've fantasized in the past about threesomes and such, but was really revolted at the reality of the situation...and wondered why someone would think I was "cool" with this kind of stuff, although I don't give him much credit for being a judge of character.

 

I just felt so WEIRD...I was literally traumatized. I felt like crying yesterday because of it and I don't know why.

I don't really know why I'm posting it or what I want from you guys...I mean, what can you say?

 

It was so weird...and I still feel so awkward having experienced it.

It was dirty...it made sex seem so raunchy, seriously...and I'm not a virgin or prude or anything...but I just can't get over it.

[blueangel]

This is how I would react: be disturbed and shocked a while, because that's not what I was expecting and because this was happening to a friend of mine right in front of me. I could never view that person the same again.

 

A few days would go by and I'd think of other things, and laugh away this strange memory.

[agent1607307371]

I have some pretty out there sexual preferences, but one of the things I've picked up from it is that everything should be safe, sane and consensual.

 

They made you a part of it without your consent and that is just vastly ugly behaviour in my book. It doesn't matter if you've fantasised about it or not, if you're not asked, you've not consented and it's basically some kind of mental assault.

 

I would be shocked too, and very angry. They took away your control and that's not right.

[southerngirl]

Thats just gross and I can not blame you for being traumatized. To assume that you would want to take part in that without even being asked is just weird.

 

I feel for ya.

[Caldus]

Wow that is weird. I would feel the same way.

[Newo Ikkin]

Make it clear to your friend, if you haven't done firmly already, that you were not impressed by his actions.

 

You can't change what you've seen. But you have the chance to forget. Give it a few days, and don't take time dwelling on it.

 

Some people are so foul.

[shep88ner]

they took a pretty big risk and made a huge assumption that you'd be cool with that. i dont know a single person who would be cool just sitting there in a room chatting with two people having sex right there. that's the weirdest thing ive ever heard of. so for them to assume that you'd be cool with it sounds to me like a poorly thoughtout assumption.

 

i know what you mean though, my roommate in college is gay and he has his boyfriend over a lot. i've seen and heard things that would make most people sick to their stomach...all you can do is just shake it off and not think about it. but i do know that it is really hard to look at someone the same way after seeing something like that...it's still weird for me to talk to my roommate sometimes

[Balbina]

I'm doing a little better about the whole situation.

 

I'm not longer freaked out by thinking about it or that affected when I do...and I suppose the wise cracks from my friends are suceeding in their attempt of making light of the situation.

 

I'm not talking to my "friend". I came online today and he was online and didn't even message me...and we were both online for quite some time. I don't really care...I don't think I'm missing out on some substantial friendship with the guy and frankly, I kind of pity him...and think he's gross - they didn't even use a condom.

 

It's all an experience right?

And what you all said makes sense...I suppose I did feel sort of violated in a way, even though I wasn't participating directly.