Help me get out of my chaotic life

[emit_remmus]

I'm spending the money I have, left and right, and I don't have a job. I want a perfect body, but I'm eating a lot right now because I'm sad and stressed out. I'm not very disciplined in anything right now as far as budgeting, studying, and eating goes.

 

I'm sad that I may never attain that perfect body because of what I have done to myself in the past, and that is being an antisocial couch potato. I swear I'm different from that now. I am with my friends 24/7, and I am very active in volunteering and exercise. I still have the little wee remnants of fat around my legs, booty, and belly, but I've been trying to lose it for the past 4 years now. I have my ups and downs when it comes to eating and exercise. Right now, I'm in my low, where I am eating a lot and not feeling very motivated to work out. I'm working out halfassed right now. I hate to say this, but having an active social life isn't helping either. I eat a lot of junk food with my friends after drinking and smoking pot.

 

I'm also sad because it looks as if I'll never be with someone. I've never been with anyone. I don't even know what its like being in a relationship. To those who have been in a relationship, do you like the single life better or the committed life better? The last girl I asked out recently, turned me down, but we still talk because we share a class and we share the same group of friends. Its weird. I thought she was perfect for me, but obviously not since we're not together. So I'm not really looking at girls right now.

 

And school, I'm not motivated. I probably have a few B's and C's right now. I don't even like the University much, and right now would be a bad time to decide on anything because of my emotions. So I'm just sticking with what I wanted to do from the beginning and that is archaeology.

 

I just want to move away from all this, to a little cabin out in the wilderness. I miss my hair, and its hard to grow with the middle stages being weird and hard to maintain, so I would like to grow out my hair and a beard. I would like to get away from it all and do nothing.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hey Emit - I don't have any advice per se - just wanted to say that I can relate. Not to the specifics but to the feeling. I OFTEN feel like I just want to disappear.

 

Just hang in there. The pendulum is BOUND to swing the other way eventually, yeh?

[Jetta]

One suggestion is stop the drugs, it's messing up your head.

 

Focus on your education, good thing to stick with what you originally wanted to do since you're feeling up in the air now. If after you're clear headed you want to change, then do so.

 

Work on getting a job, any job for now until you feel more stable and then you can focus on getting to where you want to be jobwise.

 

And yes curtail spending by not going out with friends as much. Find free things to do.

[emit_remmus]

Hey Emit - I don't have any advice per se - just wanted to say that I can relate. Not to the specifics but to the feeling. I OFTEN feel like I just want to disappear.

 

Just hang in there. The pendulum is BOUND to swing the other way eventually, yeh?

 

If the pendulum is small and minute like my little life, it won't go anywhere.

 

I don't know what I would gain from anything. I'm not sure why I want a perfect body, maybe for aesthetic reasons, for attraction, or for self confidence. I hated looking at myself in the mirror when I was fat, but now I do it constantly just to see how much I can try to perfect. Its driving me crazy, trying to get rid of the little pinch of fat I've had, and it is now the handful I have right now. When I've had a body that I thought was close to perfection, I still could not win any girl's heart. Why bother? Whats the point?

 

And its not like I'm going to affect the history of mankind. I thought the other day, how am I affecting the world right now? What influence do I have on others and my environment? If I were to isolate myself, would I still affect my environment? I'm sure people speak good things about me when I'm not in their presense, and that flatters me. I have good friends, and people remember me. I am also affecting organisms at every step, that is the organisms that make up my body. Every action I take affects them, I smoke, I cook my lungs. I walk, I give off some heat. On the other hand if I were to isolate myself, would I have an affect on the surrounding ecosystem? Are we a part of Earth system as one? Are we bound to the Earth? We haven't even been on any other planet yet, except our robots, but they are something else

[Batya33]

I would stop using drugs/drinking and start being other-centered. You can make a difference - even if it's small - by volunteering/community service, etc. and by doing small kindnesses each day. Worrying about changing the world can be a safe way to avoid taking action with the attitude of "if I can't change the world in a big way why bother." Don't take the cop-out approach.

 

Yes, I prefer to be part of a couple because I like the intimacy, the fun couple things we do, the nightly phone calls if we don't see each other, the private jokes/banter. And yes, at least where I live and among the people i know, it is a little easier (socially) to be coupled. It is not because I am afraid of being alone - I love my alone time. I would choose being single over being in a bad or unhealthy relationship any day.

 

I too have a hard time motivating myself to exercise - what motivates me is listening to the music I love while working out and knowing that the minute I start pedaling or walking I'll feel great. Hope that's helpful.

[pixxie]

Well, you are definitely in a rut. Usually, I tell people to find a hobby, but it sounds as if you are getting out with being in school, working out, and having a social life. Hmmm... So here goes another direction.

 

Stop emphasizing so much on what's around you and focus on within. The only reason you think you haven't achieved your "body" goal is most likely due to what society has taught you; and that's who you should be and what you should look like. So, get away from the mirror for a while and get on the scale one last time and shout "So What! There's more to me than what society brings. And, find that within yourself. If you can figure out the depth of you without comparison- than you will be the most confident and beautiful person. Keep doing things you love: workout & be done with it, eat - just not everything, and prioritize your schooling first. You'll be glad you did. The brain is worth far more than an in-between phase of a hair cut. Just get up and go for a walk, rediscover an area of you city, find a location where you can find peace. Find what REALLY matters to you and live it. This rejeuvenated person I am talking about will attrack great and wonderfully alike individuals into your life. Surround yourself with positivity and you will give, as well as, receive it.

Chase yor melancholy away and enjoy life.