i'm pretty upset and angry at myself

[HDD]

i am at a point rigth now where I am just so mad and angry at myself for believing what my ex said. he called me last weekend to tell me he missed me and this was hard for him blah blah (i posted about this earlier)... He called me yesterday to chat because he was leaving out of the country so he wanted to say good bye before he left. we didnt talk about whether or not we were dating anyone or anything, but he kept saying how he hasnt made any friends and how he is having a hard time. He has a puppy that I adore and he kept saying, he will be your dog one day! i was thinking to myself, are you stupid, i dont want your dog!!! the whole time we were talking i felt like he was hiding something from me. i didnt want to ask him, so i just ignored it.

Today morning, for some odd and scary reason, i was checking my voicemail on my cell phone, i dont know why, but i accidently dialed his number (cause i havent checked my VM in a while an I am used to dialing his number, which is an easy # to dial) and it went to HIS VM and i found a message from some girl saying how she missed him and hope he is having a good day!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was shocked, and i tried it again, and it didnt work. I mean my ex and i used to share a plan together, but this never happened .... what is this? Was i meant to hear this to give myself a kick in my A** to let him go? Why is it so easy for a guy to move on so quickly, is this a rebound? Why does he keep CALLING me then!!!

I am so mad at myself for believing him. I had a slight array of hope that maybe something will change in him and he will want to give this another shot, i wasnt counting on it though ... now i dont even want think about him anymore. I mean, WHY call me and tell me those things when you are out there trying to meet girls!!!! I dont want to be his friend, at least not right now and i just dont know what to do about myself. Why am I so weak when it comes to him, i feel like he still has control over this situation and it is killing me. i dont want to loose him and I hope that someday we can be friends or even better work things out, but i cant believe him right now!!

I want to move on from this, its so hard for me to let him go completely. i am not upset at the fact that he is trying to meet new people, but it would be nice if i met some people too.. i dont even know where to start!

I pray every day for god to help me get him out of my mind, but its taking so long!!!

help me out here please. What should i do other than strict NC ... i didnt think he would do this to me so soon.

I just want to tell him to STOP CALLING ME and LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

[Beec]

Well, except for possibly calling you less, if I was asked to tell him what to do in order to get back with you, I would tell him to do what he is doing. I would tell him (AND YOU for that matter) that trying to move on and date others is not mutually exclusive with trying to get back togehter with an ex.

 

Not at this time, you're probbaly not ready to date, but working toward moving on helps you move on. Doing the things that you would do if you were moving on, helps you get over someone. And it also may attract them to come back. Ironic.

 

Sorry, but that's about all the help I have with regard to what you wrote. Other than to keep busy to keep your mind occupied.

 

Hang in there, it will get better. It takes time.

[HDD]

it doesnt bother me that he wants to date other girls, but dont feed me BS and tell me you havent made any friends, this is hard, whatever crap. and why call me? why say stupid things to me. what does he want from me? i am so mad right now + i also lost my apetite. i feel sick to my stomach just the thought of him being with someone else. i do want him to be happy, but dont get me involved in it. i know this is my fault for allowing him to call me, and boy did i learn my lesson.

thanks beec for your kind words... so you're saying that it is normal for an ex to date someone and also try and pursue their ex at the same time? why?

i just wish i could find someone so quickly to get my mind off of him... ugh! if he can move on so quickly, why am I hurting so bad.

[Orlander]

Was i meant to hear this to give myself a kick in my A** to let him go?

Yes!

 

This seems like classic "leading you on" action to me. He just might be keeping you as an option unless something else better doesnt come along.

 

I think you should be kind to yourself and allow yourself to heal.

 

 

Orlander

[HDD]

thanks orlander. i just feel really hurt right now and i cant believe he would do this to me after all those years. i mean, he doesnt have any reason to tell me if he is seeing someone or not, but man, show some respect please.

 

what is the best way to show him that i dont give a rats A** about him anymore? NC? i feel like telling him, " please stop lying to me and leading me on and using me as your backup. stop calling me and let me move on... if you have moved on then I am happy for you but dont drag me along. you lying son of a ***^*!" i really love him and care for him and i know he still does too but why torture ourselves!

 

of course i wont tell him any of this but man, i just feel so tired of this healing process. i am exhausted! i just want to meet the man i am supposed to spend the rest of my life with and just live a happy loving life. is that too much to ask!

[kekep]

the best way to show him 'you don't give a rat's a**' is to improve yourself and your life as much as possible, and to let go of your anger over the breakup. feeling angry towards him is just negative energy (albeit, a normal response to a breakup) that could be used productively to make YOU a better person. it's hard to move past it, i know, but it will come naturally with time and space apart and you will start to feel better. trust me on this. try your best not to accept any more phone calls or engage in any other contact with him for that matter. if he is not saying 'i love you and made a huge mistake, please please PLEASE take me back,' then, really, what is the point of being in touch?

 

also, remember, you can live a happy loving life by yourself; in fact, i believe the only way to draw people towards you is by being content and complete on your own. don't look to a man for fulfillment like this.

 

 

 

what is the best way to show him that i dont give a rats A** about him anymore? NC? i feel like telling him, " please stop lying to me and leading me on and using me as your backup. stop calling me and let me move on... if you have moved on then I am happy for you but dont drag me along. you lying son of a ***^*!" i really love him and care for him and i know he still does too but why torture ourselves!

 

of course i wont tell him any of this but man, i just feel so tired of this healing process. i am exhausted! i just want to meet the man i am supposed to spend the rest of my life with and just live a happy loving life. is that too much to ask!

[HDD]

i am not looking to a man to fulfill my need of happiness and love but it would sure help if i met some cool guys just to be friends ... but it hurts really bad to know that he is talking to other girls and then lying to me about how much he is having a hard time and all. Why? i cried for like 2 hours today becuase i felt hurt, betrayed and just really replaced is it so easy to find someone just 2 months after a break up of a 6 year relationship? i know we have been thinking about breaking up for a while but to move on so quickly just shocks me... as if what we had meant nothing to him. i just need to vent because i am seriouisly having a hard time with this.

 

i was talking to myself today, pretending as if i was talking to him and just yelling and letting everything out. i told myself to stop answering his calls... let him move on be with the girls he is talking to whatever, i could care less... but i am praying and trying to make myself strong to get through the next few weeks... which are going to be very hard and long. i need you guys more than ever right now.

[HDD]

i have a question....

 

how many of you out there have kept in touch with an ex but at the same time dated other girls. Were you upset when your ex found out and stopped talking to you? Did u finally tell them about your current interest or did you just slowly stop calling once you figured you were into the new fling? and why were you holding on to your ex? as a backup?

 

i am just trying to figure this situation out that I am in right now. I am just hurting and trying to give myself the strength to let him go COMPLETELY with no anger or resentment.