is porn really such a big deal ?

[melrich]

Yes, I am not sure jealousy is the right word.

 

A big problem with pornography, particularly online, is the potential for it to become an addiction.

 

Another problem is the depersonification of women as essayed by Dr Gary Brooks in The Centrefold Syndrome (1995). Simply that it encourages the image of women as objects rather than people.

 

I think the exploitation of women is an issue. But to use such an issue as a base for why pornography is wrong opens up many other moral dilemmas that are not easily resolved.

 

Personally, I think watching pornography in moderation is fine. If you are in a relationship it should be mutually acceptable and not hidden and should only be a problem in that case if the watching of pornography affects intimacy in the relationship.

[Steven1607307306]

Okay I think this subject is WAY overthought. It works in some relationships...doesn't in others. It's just another one of those things that you either do or don't have in common in a relationship. I know if I was with a girl that hated porn...I wouldn't be with her for much longer. As far a porn exploiting young teens...It's not "their pain, our gain". Just because they're getting paid to do it, doesn't mean they don't like it! So they were molested as children...does that mean I should feel guilty for watching porn??? There are plenty of people who were molested and have no psycological problems. They don't do pornos. Maybe it contributed, maybe not.

[AwdreeHpburn]

sort of agree with Steven.......well said, most of that.

 

I mean, like I said, its no different than any other market. There are going to be those who exploit the workers and there's going to be those who are 100% legitimate and functioning honeslty, on the-up and up etc. That's the case in EVERY industry.

 

Just depends on which cause one chooses to champion.

 

The labour exploitation of children in 3rd world countries to save money making clothes - The sexual expolitation of child sex-slaves in some other countries, the exploitation of animals for make-up or the exploitation of women in porn movies and mags. I'm sure there are many, many more.

 

Are any less or more deserving of social attention? I dunno. I guess my personal peeve is the whole children thing. I hate seeing children taken advantage of, exploited or abused. But that's me. There may be girlfriends out there who can't stand that their bf gets off to porn. Because the one he watches may or may not be on the level???

[SheWolf]

I let my husband watch porn, but he's more into me for some odd reason. It's weird lol. The only rule I have is we should watch it together, because I've got a low self esteem.

[Steven1607307306]

I let my husband watch porn, but he's more into me for some odd reason. It's weird lol. The only rule I have is we should watch it together, because I've got a low self esteem.

 

That's not odd at all. I'm WAY more into my girlfriend than any chick on porn! Just because I like porn doesn't mean I'd rather be with them. It's entertaining to watch, and can teach you some new tricks!

 

The only rule is you should watch it together?! That's hardly a rule, guys (well I) love it when girls watch it with us. Weight it out on each hand...watching porn alone...orrrrrr, watching it with someone you love, or just attracted to. Hmmmmm....Sex please!

[TheFoglifter]

Yeah, I don't buy the "your pain is our gain" for a second.

 

If you need (read: really really really really really want as much as possible as quickly as possible) money for whatever reason, you are going to do whatever gets you as much as possible. Given the choice between easy cash under the table, and flipping burgers for $5.50/hour, seems to me many people would choose option 1. Where else is a college sophomore going to get hundreds in cash for a few hours work.

 

Furthermore, plenty of porn out there comes from loving couples posting their own videos. Actually I can't stand "movies", I prefer the stuff where people film themselves or get caught on camera. In those cases, that nullifies the exploitation arguments, since they are participating in their own free will.

 

Personally I feel it is unfair for one person in a relationship to demand the other to stop watching porn but then not be willing to fulfill the need it provides. My gf tried that once and only once, and I explained very calmly how it was much more considerate of me to take care of myself when I knew she wasn't in the mood rather than fester silently and huff and puff, then end up in an argument over how i'm not getting enough, which will only guarantee I get even less.

[CaptainPlanet]

Thank you, I will continue to get my release from porn.

 

I suggest instead of complaining about the realities of our society you come up with ideas to improve the working conditions for sex workers, such as legalization and regulation. Because our world is not a moral world, It is a case of supply and demand that sex as an industry always has, and always will exist.

 

Frankly, I do not care what the girl in the video went through, it is a product on the market and I will buy it. I am a horny man, I need a release and I am not getting it, so I turn to porn. They take my money I get my product. End of story. Perhaps if some of the more proper women would take sympathy and cater to men’s needs, then there would be no demand for porn. But they simply do not care.

 

You need to understand men want women for sex, it is very very easy thereforeeee, to objectify a person you do not know, that you see on video as a sex object and nothing more. My first reaction to a girl is sex, its a common if not normal reaction. I only care about her after I get to know her, before that she is just sex. Guilting me is not going to work there are stronger force's in action than morality or economics can contend with. There will always be a sex industry. Deal with it. It is human nature.

 

If sex was considered an honorable profession it would not attract women with no other choice, but consist of well paid, well respected professionals who hold esteem and have a strong sense of self worth. Correlation does not always mean causation. A hard job that needs doing, well respected, well paid, admirable.

 

There is a lot that is morally wrong with our global society, suffering, wars, starvation, famine, natural disasters, and I'm sure virtual slave labor that I cannot bring myself to give two hoots about some chick getting pounded a little on film. As far as I am concerned she might have had it rough but she could pull her self out the same way I'm sure many others have before her (hard/smart work). I'm guessing her wages aren't too shabby either if she’s a sucker for that then that’s her business.

 

So yeah, next time I am watching porn, I will think about how pretty the girl looks and nothing else.

 

Cheers for the insight.

[Grosse vache]

I'm sorry but there is nothing wrong with porn. Women aren't exploited. Why not just say that all women are weak and feeble and have no minds of their own and be done with it. They don't "have" to do it. They choose to do it. I dont care what anyone says. There are other ways to earn money and there are people and places to turn to if you don't want to do that sort of thing. Life is about choice and I don't think it's right to turn around and try and make someone feel guilty for liking porn. You might as well turn around and ask people to think about the starving children in Africa everytime they eat any food.

 

And if you're going to say that porn degrades women and forces them into it than you have to say that it also degrades young men and forces them into it as well otherwise you're full of double standards.

 

Oh and to imply that all women involved in porn are molested by their fathers or drug addicts or homeless is a pretty narrow minded view.

[TheFoglifter]

Nobody has said that the porn industry is also quite cutthroat. It takes a fierce competitor to succeed, which in a sense could be a source of pride.

[Scout]

I suspect some of you males who are defending porn the most vigorously either have difficulty getting sex from live women (and I can honestly see why based on some of your posts), or you have a real addiction at this point you're subconsciously defending.

 

Sound harsh? Well, go back and look over some of your own posts, where you imply if women gave it up more, men wouldn't have to resort to porn. Of course, you also argue that the "male mind" is different than the female mind. I call BS on both those arguments. Not every male looks at porn, in fact, a lot don't. And anyone who has been on eNotalone for any length of time can attest that there are numerous threads up from women who are upset that their boyfriends/husbands are into porn, and don't understand why when they have a willing, live woman who is right there!

 

As for the females on here who also express the view that no one is being exploited or damaged by the porn industry, I suggest you read a book called link removed It talks about how females today are undermining the feminist movement to banish limiting stereotypes on women, and it also provides a very compelling read on the effects of today's hyperly sexualized, pornographic "ideal" on impressionable young girls.

 

And I am still waiting to hear from the males how you would feel if your partner chose to masturbate to images of strange men two or three times a week. But I will admit this in advance: I will seriously have a hard time believing you if you say it wouldn't make you feel the least bit confused or disconcerted or insecure!

[Grosse vache]

Do you not think that implying that all women involved in porn are molested by their fathers, drug addicts or homeless is stereotyping? Some women like to be exhibitionists. Some women like having sex on camera. And anyone that doesn't has the choice to get out of it and get some help. There is help out there everywhere you look and if they don't choose to get it that's not my problem and I won't be preached to or made to look like some heathen just because I don't feel sorry for someone I know nothing about.

 

I'm not undoing any work. I'm letting people make their life choices without being judgemental, which is what you are doing.

[Scout]

Do you not think that implying that all women involved in porn are molested by their fathers, drug addicts or homeless is stereotyping?

 

If you want to have a rational debate, I'm more than willing. But don't put words in my mouth I didn't say/write. What I did write was that some studies have indicated the majority of women in porn had been sexually molested.

 

I'm not undoing any work. I'm letting people make their life choices without being judgemental, which is what you are doing.

 

Actually, you are being quite judgemental about my opinions because you don't happen to agree with them.

[Grosse vache]

If you want to have a rational debate, I'm more than willing. But don't put words in my mouth I didn't say/write. What I did write was that some studies have indicated the majority of women in porn had been sexually molested.

 

You appear to have the same views on this as another poster who said those things. I'm not "putting words in your mouth". I am highlighting that what you are implying is similar to the other poster. Also, I would very much like to read and critique these studies. Do you have titles/journals/issues ect?

 

Actually, you are being quite judgemental about my opinions because you don't happen to agree with them.

Please explain what I am "judging" you to be in my posts?

[Ash]

Well Scout, to be true to the initial poster, the question posed was based on the premise that the porn viewing was not causing an issue, so the thread has perhaps taken a slightly different tact than many others before it that were dealing with it from a different initial viewpoint.

 

As for those defending porn I will admit I watched it far more when I was with my ex wife who had a much lower sex drive. Since I've settled down again with somebody else who is a much closer match from that viewpoint the viewing has pretty much completely fallen by the wayside. I don't really defend it as much as I'm willing discuss and examine viewpoints on the matter.

 

I used to think getting sex was a rare thing and figured there was something wrong with me. I've discovered that not to be the case but I will say at the same time I've found my personal desires and sexual drive to be completely unrelated to how much I watched. I merely substituted one for the other. So yes, in a way you are correct Scout. Some of those defending porn do so because they're not getting it for real. Whether they are unable is entirely another matter and it may be because of a horrible attituted towards women and sexuality, or it may be just as easily attributed to existing conditions in their lives.

 

Also, I'm sure some are addicted and that's very negative for them. I wonder if those would defend it so much, or just keep quiet and hope nobody really pays much attention to what they're doing and leaves them alone.

[BellaDonna]

This thread has run it's course.

 

Thread closed.