Confused - What is she looking for?

[hailtothevictors]

I am a sophomore in college and got set up on a blind date on Valentine's Day. It was actually a blind double-date, my friend and I went mini-golfing and out to dinner with two girls. The date went really well, we had a lot of fun, and spent hours at the restaurant just talking. I felt a connection with one of the girls (I'll call her D)- we sat accross from each other at dinner and talked a lot, had lots of "eye-flirting", and she even was gently playing footsie with me under the table.

 

That weekend the four of us hung out again, and we ended up staying in D's room until 5 in the morning just talking. Again, it was much of the same, every time I looked over at her she would lock eyes with me and give me a smile. She has gorgeous eyes

 

The next week we talked on the phone and she suggested that I come over to watch TV with her. So we just hung out in her room and watched TV. As I was leaving she suggested going to a movie sometime, which I said sounded like fun. She was out of town last weekend, so we couldn't go to a movie, but I went over to her room again last night to hang out. We were able to be alone for a little while, but then a couple of her friends came over.

 

I guess I'm just confused by what I should do. I really like her; she's beautiful, fun to be around, and seems like a genuine person. We have lots of similar interests. She always suggests doing things together and says she will call me, but I almost always end up being the person who calls. She usually seems like she likes me when we are together, but gives me mixed signals. When we have sat on the couch and talked/watched TV, we sit fairly close, but no touching, and no kiss yet after four times of hanging out.

 

I want to take things slow, but I'm beginning to wonder how much interest she has. It seems like she does, because she keeps asking me to do things with her, but sometimes I'm not sure. I really want to go on a real date with just the two of us. I'm just not really sure what to do ...

[jordan1234]

I think youre thinking way too much....let me ask, are you just out of a relationship? First off, make a move. It seems that she is doing a lot. You might be calling her but she is making the suggestions, dates, ideas etc. Also, why dont you try to kiss HER. I would always try to at least kiss a girl after a few itmes hanging out. other wise you give out a friendship vibe...

[Blsmith007]

I argee with jordan, that you need to make a move and not just play soo casual otherwise she will only see you as a friend. Proably not as bold of a move to kiss her but you should try more touching and getting closer to her on the couch watching tv and watch the signs she puts out. Such as does she comfort the fact your getting closer or move a little away. Thats a good sign to whats going on in her mind. All you have to do is make small moves till you feel comfortable with making a big move. And as you said you should try and make a date such as dinner and movie or such just the two of you. Good luck

 

Brandon

[Beec]

You need to bust a move, but you also need to put yourself in an environment where you can feel out if the time is right to bust the move and when you get green signals to swoop in and DO IT. I am not talking about a big drastic move or any move to have sex with her soon. Just a move to make it clear that at some time you see that stuff mgiht be in your future.

 

I've found that my best moves come when somewhat unexpected and when walking. Two of the easiest ways to mkae something begin to head into the physical direction are to hold hands and/or kiss, of course. Both of these things often have preliminary signals that come before them. One of my favorite things is that when you are not sure if you should make a move, you can engage in the "hand bump." Your hands touch, and you gauge things based on reaction. Often the hands touch and move part, touch and move apart and touch and move apart. the time of contact and pressure exerted during the contact should increase, slightly. And after a very short while, you should grab and hold her hand. When being bold, and you should be bold because it works, one can as soon as the hands are being held, swoop in and kiss her. I also like to go through the first parts of the hand bump, cut it short and then go right in and kiss her. Do one of these.

 

She is giving you big signals. I mean she played footside with you under the table. She gives you lots and lots of eye contact. She suggested you go see her.

 

Move in quickly or be labelled chicken. Women don't date chickens. You have a small window of time in which to bust a move and you have used up some of it.

 

Create a date when you can walk some place with her, do the hand bump, swoop in and kiss.

[Dating Coach]

Footsies on the first date, hanging out until 5AM, going over to her house to watch TV with her... um brother... if you try to play it slow and safe, this girl is probably going to ditch you. I'm not saying you grab her and take her on the spot (unless she seems down for it) but you need to step up the game.

 

When you're alone next, kiss her. If it goes well, kiss her more passionately. As things progress that night then wrap her in your arms and kiss her passionately. If she seems completely down with that, progress it more. I'm not joking. I played the "safe: game with so many girls in my past and they all dumped me because they got hot and I did nothing because I didn't want her to think I was only about that. Well, they were really interested, and would have. Me not doing this was a turn off and maybe they even wondered why I didn't take their hints. It's possible my hesistence caused them to think I wasn't all that interested or even that I would be a boring partner.

 

Next time, make sure you take little steps but keep progressing it if she seems down with everything. When she stops you then stop. But if not then she's probably hoping you will.

[lovemycoffee41]

I'm with Dogg on this. Make plans with her for just the two of ya, and if everything goes well with whatever plans you make, kiss her.

 

We love it when you guys do that

[ghost69]

ask her out on an outing with just you two.

[hailtothevictors]

Thanks for the great responses, guys!

 

jordan1234: I got out of a 2.5-year relationship about three months ago. It was incredibly difficult for me, but I put myself in the best possible situation to heal (no contact with the ex) and I am at peace with what happened.

 

One time that we hung out we saw a preview for a movie that she suggested we go see. She is out of town this weekend, but I'm going to give her a call on Sunday or Monday and ask her to the movie and probably dinner beforehand. I know dinner and a movie is such a cliche date, but she suggested it, and dinner will give us a good opportunity to talk.

 

And I definitely agree that I need to make a move. If the date goes well I'll go in for the kiss. I'm nervous already, haha, I'm 20 years old and the only girl I've ever kissed is my ex-girlfriend!

[willow2900]

You know there is nothing wrong with the cliche date! I just went on one and it was wonderful! I really enjoyed it....even if it was a classic

 

And yes - make a move, she is giving you signs all over the place. Kiss her.

[Massari]

My friend do what diggity dogg says. he is always right and he knows what he is talking about.

[ghost69]

if she kisses you. act like wth for a second. then go in for the kill.

[hailtothevictors]

Hmmm ... what do you guys think of this?

 

She was out of town this weekend but was planning on returning Sunday afternoon. I called her on Sunday night and had to leave a message. I told her I was calling to see how her weekend went and asked if she wanted to go to that movie this week.

 

That was Sunday afternoon and she still hasn't called back. Am I being overly concerned?

[MushroomGod]

maybe but it has been a while, try her again today and find out why she didn't call you back.

[ghost69]

show up at her door and knock. when she answers say "ready?" lol she would be like "ready for what?" "the movie". haha. i'm waiting for someone to put that on here that they did this.

 

you should try and follow up and see if she got your message. if she says yeah, but really busy, she isn't diggin you. if she says no, then ask her on the spot.

[hailtothevictors]

Will calling her again make me look needy/clingy?

 

Ugghh, this sucks. I thought for sure she would call back ... all signs made it seem like she was interested. She was the one who suggested going to the movie in the first place!

[domertobe14]

Well everyone pretty much said it all already. You have to make a move. Let her know you are interested. Good luck.

[jenny_mcs]

Ask her out on a real date and kiss her at the end of the night!!

 

and.....GO BLUE!-

 

 

---jenny (Michigan alumnas)

[ghost69]

did you call again?

[hailtothevictors]

did you call again?

 

No, I haven't called yet. I'm either going to call tonight or tomorrow night. I guess I'm still hoping that she calls back, even thought it doesn't seem very likely at this point.

 

When I do call (and hopefully talk to her) should I mention my earlier message or just go ahead and ask her out?

[Beec]

No, I haven't called yet. I'm either going to call tonight or tomorrow night. I guess I'm still hoping that she calls back, even thought it doesn't seem very likely at this point.

 

When I do call (and hopefully talk to her) should I mention my earlier message or just go ahead and ask her out?

 

Don't mention the prior message yet.

 

When you ask, be vague about if it is a date.

 

Bust a move on her, during the date.

 

After she is responding to you, then take issue with her not responding to you, when she doesn't again.

[ghost69]

ask her to hang out. if you do hang out be subtle about the other message. "you know what, i left you a message the other day. did you get it?"

[hailtothevictors]

Just called and -- big surprise -- had to leave a message.

 

 

[ghost69]

lol, don't fret. if nothing, move on.

[hailtothevictors]

Yeah, I'm just really confused because she showed a lot of interest in me and seemed to like me. Then all of a sudden she just stops returning my calls. Why is dating so hard? lol

[ghost69]

it would be called 'easy' if it wasn't 'dating'. she could have just been high signing. faking her interest.