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hailtothevictors

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  1. hailtothevictors
    Update: I was in my dorm's cafeteria late Wednesday night when I heard someone call out my name. It was her - she called me over and invited me to sit and eat with her and her friend. She apologized for being "a phantom the last week or so" - she said she was busy with tests/papers and had friends visiting from out of town. We had a good chat, she introduced me to her friend and told her the story of how we met on a blind date, etc. Her former high school's basketball team was playing in a state tournament semi-final in our city on Thursday and she asked me if I wanted to go. I had class, so I had to decline. If the team won on Thursday, they would play on Saturday, so she told me she would let me know how the team did and if they won she invited me to the game with her Saturday. Her team lost on Thursday, but I didn't hear anything from her. After leaving her two messages two weeks ago that she didn't respond to, I had decided not to call her again. But after this little exchange I think I should give it another chance. I would like to call her and invite her to a St. Patricks Day party tonight. I figure that I like her, she seems to have some interest in me, and I don't have a lot to lose. The mixed signals are a little confusing though, but I think I should give it one more shot. Good move?
  2. hailtothevictors
    I talked to her friend today. I casually asked what was up with "D" and why she hadn't called me back. The response: "Oh yeah, it's because she obviously hates you (smiles and laughs). No seriously, I know she was really busy with papers and tests last week, so that's probably why. I hardly saw her last week either if that makes you feel any better." She seemed surprised when she found out I hadn't talked to D in over a week. I don't buy it. There's no way you're too busy to spare 30 seconds to text me or something. Think there is any potential for her to contact me this week or is it over?
  3. hailtothevictors
    Well, I have class with her best friend on Monday, so if I haven't heard from her before then, I think I'll mention something to her friend. Maybe that will shed some light on the situation.
  4. hailtothevictors
    Why would she do that?
  5. hailtothevictors
    Yeah, I'm just really confused because she showed a lot of interest in me and seemed to like me. Then all of a sudden she just stops returning my calls. Why is dating so hard? lol
  6. hailtothevictors
    Just called and -- big surprise -- had to leave a message.
  7. hailtothevictors
    No, I haven't called yet. I'm either going to call tonight or tomorrow night. I guess I'm still hoping that she calls back, even thought it doesn't seem very likely at this point. When I do call (and hopefully talk to her) should I mention my earlier message or just go ahead and ask her out?
  8. hailtothevictors
    Will calling her again make me look needy/clingy? Ugghh, this sucks. I thought for sure she would call back ... all signs made it seem like she was interested. She was the one who suggested going to the movie in the first place!
  9. hailtothevictors
    Hmmm ... what do you guys think of this? She was out of town this weekend but was planning on returning Sunday afternoon. I called her on Sunday night and had to leave a message. I told her I was calling to see how her weekend went and asked if she wanted to go to that movie this week. That was Sunday afternoon and she still hasn't called back. Am I being overly concerned?
  10. hailtothevictors
    Thanks for the great responses, guys! jordan1234: I got out of a 2.5-year relationship about three months ago. It was incredibly difficult for me, but I put myself in the best possible situation to heal (no contact with the ex) and I am at peace with what happened. One time that we hung out we saw a preview for a movie that she suggested we go see. She is out of town this weekend, but I'm going to give her a call on Sunday or Monday and ask her to the movie and probably dinner beforehand. I know dinner and a movie is such a cliche date, but she suggested it, and dinner will give us a good opportunity to talk. And I definitely agree that I need to make a move. If the date goes well I'll go in for the kiss. I'm nervous already, haha, I'm 20 years old and the only girl I've ever kissed is my ex-girlfriend!
  11. hailtothevictors
    I am a sophomore in college and got set up on a blind date on Valentine's Day. It was actually a blind double-date, my friend and I went mini-golfing and out to dinner with two girls. The date went really well, we had a lot of fun, and spent hours at the restaurant just talking. I felt a connection with one of the girls (I'll call her D)- we sat accross from each other at dinner and talked a lot, had lots of "eye-flirting", and she even was gently playing footsie with me under the table. That weekend the four of us hung out again, and we ended up staying in D's room until 5 in the morning just talking. Again, it was much of the same, every time I looked over at her she would lock eyes with me and give me a smile. She has gorgeous eyes The next week we talked on the phone and she suggested that I come over to watch TV with her. So we just hung out in her room and watched TV. As I was leaving she suggested going to a movie sometime, which I said sounded like fun. She was out of town last weekend, so we couldn't go to a movie, but I went over to her room again last night to hang out. We were able to be alone for a little while, but then a couple of her friends came over. I guess I'm just confused by what I should do. I really like her; she's beautiful, fun to be around, and seems like a genuine person. We have lots of similar interests. She always suggests doing things together and says she will call me, but I almost always end up being the person who calls. She usually seems like she likes me when we are together, but gives me mixed signals. When we have sat on the couch and talked/watched TV, we sit fairly close, but no touching, and no kiss yet after four times of hanging out. I want to take things slow, but I'm beginning to wonder how much interest she has. It seems like she does, because she keeps asking me to do things with her, but sometimes I'm not sure. I really want to go on a real date with just the two of us. I'm just not really sure what to do ...
  12. hailtothevictors
    Hey guys, Well, this new girl is not exactly my "girlfriend", we've only gone on a couple dates ... don't want to get ahead of things. But I can honestly say that if my ex told me today that she wanted to try again, I would not say yes. Maybe down the line we could try again, but not right now. I'm heard from friends that she has changed so much, she gets drunk at nearly every opportunity, is letting her schoolwork suffer, hooking up with guys she doesn't even know. I didn't think she could ever be like that when we were together, but I see now she had all this "bad-girl" stuff built up inside her. NC and deleting her name from my AIM really helped me in the healing process.
  13. hailtothevictors
    I haven't been on here for a while, but I wanted to update you guys who have been following my story and offering me advice. Brief Recap: High school sweetheart cheated on me and broke up with me after 2.5 years together, saying she didn't love me as a boyfriend anymore. Went through weeks and weeks of tears, depression, laziness, did NC for a month, wanted her back more than anything. After 2.5 months a former teacher of mine emailed me and said he had a student who wanted a date for Valentine's Day, so he wanted to set me up on a blind date. I still didn't feel like I was completely over my ex, but I had been doing better recently, so I actually agreed. The blind date was wonderful! The girl was cute, funny, smart, lots of similar interests. We've gone on two dates since then and we are going on another this weekend. I'm trying to take things slow (we haven't even kissed yet) because I don't want to rush into anything. I have so much fun whenever I am with her. The best part is, I think I have truly grasped that my ex and I were not meant for each other. NC was helpful in making me realize I could live without her. I tried to limit myself from checking her Facebook profile online, but I got weak from time to time and checked. As much as it hurt at the time (and believe me, I can't even describe how much it hurt) I think seeing her send messages/take pictures with other guys helped me move on. I still have the occasional bump along the road and lots of things still remind me of my ex, but I can now talk/think about her without experience all of that pain and hurt. The new girl has a lot to do with it, too. She has made me realize that there are other girls out there just as fun, pretty, and engaging as my ex. My relationship with my ex was my first relationship ever, so I'm not really sure how rebounds work ... maybe this new girl is a "rebound". All I know is that I am 100% okay with the idea that I will never be with my ex again and I can't wait to see where things go with this new girl. Thanks for all the help and support from you guys when I was going through the roughest of times. You guys are the best!
  14. hailtothevictors
    Well, she ended up texting me back that night and we had a text conversation for about half an hour. She ended by asking me to call her about hanging out sometime this week. I gave her a call this afternoon but had to leave a message. Once again, she hasn't called me back. It seems like she always waits quite a few hours or until the next day to call back ... is this normal? I got out of a long-term relationship a few months ago (which happened to be my first ever relationship) so I don't have a lot of dating experience. I really really am starting to like this girl and I just want to make sure I'm not believing that there's something here when there really is not, and setting myself up for disappointment. Thanks for your responses
  15. hailtothevictors
    Ok, she called me back on Saturday and we made plans for the four of us to hang out again. It turned into a really great night. After the show, the four of us wound up in her room, just hanging out and talking until 5 in the morning. The girl I like (we'll call her D) and I were "eye-flirting" the entire night long. We talked about so much, it was great. When my friend and I left he said, "She would not stop staring at you the entire night!". She gave me so many little glances and smiles throughout the night. Today I sent her a text telling her that I had a lot of fun and suggested hanging out sometime this week. That was a few hours ago and she hasn't responded. If she doesn't respond, should I call her in a few days and set something up? I want a chance for the two of us to do something together once, instead of in a group of people.
  16. hailtothevictors
    Hmmm, I'm a little confused. I called the girl I like around 4:30 today. She didn't answer, so I left a message asking if she was still interested in going to that show tomorrow and to give me a call back. She didn't call back today. I'm actually really surprised she didn't return my call. She seemed to really be into me on Wednesday and she was the one who suggested hanging out on Saturday. Do you think she'll call tomorrow? It's not the end of the world if she doesn't want to go out again, but I really had a good time with her and she seemed to like me.
  17. hailtothevictors
    I know, is he the coolest professor or what? lol I'm going to give the girl I like a call sometime tomorrow. As you said, she did play footsie with me ... there has to be some interest there!
  18. hailtothevictors
    Hello all! This is kind of a long post, but I would greatly appreciate you taking the time to read and give me your thoughts. I'm a 20-year old college student. My girlfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me 2.5 months ago. Easily the worst experience of my life. I wanted her back so badly but was more than willing to give her some space in the hopes that she would return. I grew a lot over the 2.5 months and started feeling a bit better. Anyway, the other day I got a random email from a former professor of mine who I was close to, saying that two of his female students didn't want to spend Valentine's Day alone and wanted him to find them dates. He said he would trust me with his own daughter and asked if I was interested. I said yes, so my friend and I went on a blind double-date. A week ago I was missing my ex a lot and could never imagined going on a date, but I am quite proud of myself for going. I had so much fun! We went mini-golfing and then out to dinner where we chatted for almost three hours! We didn't pair off, it was the four of us together, but I definitely liked one of the girls more than the other. We talked/flirted a lot and during dinner she started gently rubbing her foot against my leg under the table. When the date was over, all four of us said we had a good time and they mentioned us coming to a show with them on Saturday night. When I got back to my room, the girls called my cell phone and asked if I wanted to come over to their room to watch TV. They didn't say anything about my friend so I ended up going there alone. I watched TV with the two of them for a couple hours and didn't get home until very, very late. It was weird, because I think I had a connection with the one girl, but I wasn't sure if both of them thought that also. Finally, my question. I want to give the girl that I like a call tomorrow and ask her if she still wants to go to the show on Saturday. It's hard to explain, but I really don't know how they feel about the whole situation. Does just this girl have an interest in me? Do they both? Is it just the girl that I'm not attracted to? Is Friday (two days after the date) a good time or should I wait until Saturday? I've never dated anyone except my ex in my life, so I'm pretty new to all this! Thanks!
  19. hailtothevictors
    I have been a roller-coaster of emotions the last few days ... so much to fill you guys in on. First of all, I am going on a blind date tomorrow! It's actually a double date, I'm going with a friend and we are meeting two girls. A former teacher of mine set it up. There's no way I'm ready to begin dating someone, but it will be good just to talk to other girls. I'm actually pretty excited and it's made me think less of my ex! Speaking of the ex, I saw her again tonight at our weekly student organization meeting. She was really friendly and cheerful toward me, talking to me, grabbing my arm, whispering in my ear. I wasn't quite sure what to make of it, but I believe I handled myself well. We walked back to our dorm together. About an hour later she IMed me and told me it was nice to talk to me tonight and she asked me about something on my Facebook profile. We chatted for about half an hour online, no relationship talk. I ended the conversation. I'm feeling pretty good right now: things seem to be going ok with the ex, and I'm actually going on a date tomorrow! I never thought I would say that. I can't believe I accepted the blind date offer, when I first heard it I thought "no way", but I'm proud of myself for accepting. Most importantly, I'm feeling pretty good
  20. hailtothevictors
    Update time: Haven't seen the ex in two weeks, and I was doing pretty good. Saturday would have been our 31-month anniversary, and I couldn't stop thinking about her all day. That night I was feeling really weak, and the temptation got the best of me, and I checked her Facebook profile for the first time in two weeks. I found this conversation between her and a friend: Friend: hey, i hope the rest of your night went well after we left!! i can't wait to party with you again sometime Ex: Thanks - my night was wonderful!! Did you hear what happened after you left??? I have such a good story for you, I can't believe it happened!!! YAY! Friend: Yeah, I heard a little somethin-somethin went down I am so happy for you! I can't wait to hear the story!! Ex: I can't wait to tell you! I am so happy, when I think about it I can't even believe that it happened!! YAY Ughhhh. I felt like such crap. I can't understand why I keep doing this to myself. It's like after I go a couple weeks without checking up on her I need to open up the wounds and feel all the hurt again. And now I can't stop overanalyzing all that crap. Did she hook up with another guy? Kinda sounds like it. It's been over two months since we broke up, and I don't feel like I'm anywhere CLOSE to being able to do something with a different girl. It sounds stupid, but when I imagine kissing another girl I feel like I am cheating on her. Yet she is able to go out and do ________ with another guy. I feel like she didn't care about me at all. Paranoia of what happened and what that message means is all I can think about. Why is this so hard?
  21. hailtothevictors
    Thanks W_S, After letting my thoughts clear after the initial shock and pain ... I realized that I have made significant progress. I actually had a little "epiphany" as I was walking back from class. I'm just going to write down some of what I'm feeling right now because I'm actually feeling pretty strong. I deserve better than this. She CHEATED on me, and broke up with me. She told me she isn't IN LOVE with me anymore. All this is after I devoted myself completely to her for 2.5 years, pouring everything that I could into our relationship. I treated her like a princess, giving her surprises, planning wonderful dates, taking care of her, always being there for her. She respected and loved me for this but she DIDN'T SHOW ME THE SAME THINGS in return. If after two months, she has already moved on and is messing around with other guys, so be it. That's her choice and I accept it. I still love her and care about her, but right now she doesn't love me back and there is nothing I can do about it. After a while she is going to realize that it's hard to find a connection like the one we had and it's hard to find someone who will treat her like I did. Maybe then she'll come back, maybe not. Maybe it will be too late for her. I was an amazing boyfriend to her and I have very few regrets from our 2.5 year relationship. I am very proud of how I treated her, and I showed her nothing but full love and devotion. If that's not enough for her, then it wasn't meant to be. I don't know if I'll still feel this way tomorrow and I'm sure I'll have my ups and downs, but right now I feel liberated in a way. Maybe reading that message today was a good thing! It's amazing how quickly feelings can swing from positive to negative and then right back around.
  22. hailtothevictors
    Yeah, I've found that it's better to let these "emotional waves" pass over me rather than try to fight them. Right now I'm swamped with homework though, so it's tough to take an extended period of time off. I'm taking a few minutes off here to get myself collected before getting back to work. Thoughts of my ex with other guys running through my head doesn't make it very easy to focus though .......
  23. hailtothevictors
    Thanks ellie, Yeah, I'm hoping I'll be able to use this as motivation toward my schoolwork, working out, etc. Unfortunately, I don't feel like doing anything right now ... I'm just kinda stunned.
  24. hailtothevictors
    Thankfully, I have prevented myself from looking at her profile ... the pain of seeing that one message is probably 1/10 of the suffering I would go through if I looked at her full profile. This just hurts so much right now. I'm actually feeling a bit of anger. For two months I don't ever remember feeling angry at her ... even though she cheated on me and broke up with me. It was always sadness/longing. Now, I am getting a bit of "How can she do this to me? I was a wonderful boyfriend to her!" and it's making me somewhat angry with her. Is this progress? Maybe for the first two months I was in the denile phase and now i'm entering into the anger stage. I just hurt so badly right now.
  25. hailtothevictors
    Hey all, I haven't posted in a while because I've actually been feeling pretty good. Been thinking about her all the time as usual, but no longer with the overwhelming sadness that originally consumed my thoughts. I'm posting today though, because that sadness is back. I was just on Facebook (stupid, stupid website) checking my messages from friends and I ended up looking at a few people's profiles ... steering clear of my ex's. On one of our mutual friend's profiles I saw a message from my ex, something to the effect of "things are going pretty well ... i don't know what it is, I've been going boy crazy! I've got some good stories to tell you!" I had been doing so well, hadn't cried in days, and that one message just hit me like a truck. I always knew this "party stage" she is in would include other guys, but I always tried not to think about it. Now it's all I can think of. Ahhhh, I'm so sad right now ... this just sucks so much. When I even think about doing something with another girl part of me still feels like I am cheating on her, even though we've been broken up for over two months. And she's out there getting wasted every weekend and going "boy crazy" ... who knows to what extent "crazy" means, but of course my mind assumes the worst. I thought I had been making progress, but it hurts so unbelievably much to know that the girl you love with everything you have is doing god-knows-what with other guys.
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