Talked to my ex last night, haven't spoken in 2 months

[SexySadie7]

I have been trying to get hold of my ex-bf for about a week now. I left a pleasant message asking him if he would call me please.

I left him a message asking him if he'd like to buy some of my musical equipment. I'm really broke now and I really can use the cash.

He broke up with me during the Christmas holidays and hasn't called me or return any phone messages I made to him once since then!

 

Last week I called him and left him a message. To my amazement, he called me back after about 45 minutes!

Why.. i have no clue, because, as I said before, I've called him several times since we met up last and he never once returned a call since Christmas.

I was so shocked I didn't even answer. I was at my friend's house to hang out and relax and I didn't want to speak to my ex-bf in front of my friend, if he was going to be hateful to me, and then ruin my evening with my friend. So.. I didn't answer the phone, he didn't leave any message, but he did call me back again in another 20 minutes.

Like I said, I probably would of answered it if I had been home, but I didn't want to have a conversation with him, have him be all mean and nasty to me on the phone, and have me end up in tears at my friend's house.

He has been hateful in the past to me on the phone, and like I say, it's been like 2 months, so it's not like we are on the best of terms.

In fact, he never even bothered to break up with me, he just stopped calling me altogether or answering my calls!

My self-esteem is still trying to recover from that episode, believe me!

He acted really weird the last time we were together during the night (but, that's another story in itself).

Anyway, when he called me last night. .I really didn't know what to say to him. I asked him about buying my musical gear, cuz he said he needed a new amp, and I have one I wanted to get rid of, but he said he didn't need it after all.

He really didn't sound too excited to hear from me, and although I was so excited to finally be talking to him again, it was really awkward and neither one us seemed to know what to say to each other.

On one hand, I could go off on him, screaming and complaining about the shabby behavior I got from him in the end. I figure if i do that, he'll just hang up.

However he didn't ever say, "Look, I'm sorry i didn't call you back or nothing." My birthday falls in the Christmas holiday and his shabby treatment to me really ruined my birthday and the whole holiday I was depressed and all alone.

During the call, I heard another beep on his line and he said he had a call coming in... I hung on the line since I didn't know if he was going to get back to me or not since it was 2 months since he called, who's to say he'd even call me back??

 

I stayed on line for a few minutes and was eventually disconnected.

 

I figured, oh, well, it's just him, being inconsiderate again.

 

However, I get this phone message from him, saying sorry, he had to cut me off, that he had to take an important family call. His voice sounded really friendly and polite too in the phone message!

Okay, no problem, that sounds like his old polite self.

I must say that he was really really considerate to me when we first started hanging out.

I didn't call him back because i figured, all he was doing was trying to sound polite. He said he wasn't interested in the musical stuff, and it didn't say on his message he was going to call back, nor to call him back.

Awhile later, I check my phone again and see another message and it turns out to be from him!

It says that if I'm really needing money, he knows of some way I can make it. He doesn't say what.....so that sounds a bit sketchy.. Like just what does he have in mind? I sure hope it's legal, cuz if it's not.. i'm not going there! lol

Anyway, like I say I'm flat broke, so I call him back, saying, "Hey, i got your message and I'm home so if you wanna give a call back, I'm up for awhile at least."

That was 9:30 pm and he never called back.

 

I don't know what to do now.. I'm surprised as hell, he'd call me up in the first place after all this time. I'm also surprised he'd call me back after we got cut off, cuz he's been so rude to me in the past.

Then he calls again, telling me of some "way to make money".

I gotta admit I'm curious, and if he knows of a good job, I'll go check it out.

I'm just wondering how to approach this. One part of me would sort of like to be friends, and then, of course, one part of me wants to get back together with him again.

Then there's another part of me that is just too scared and gun-shy at this point with this particular guy cuz I'm figuring he'll just keep pulling his inconsiderate crap and I just cannot stand anymore of that emotional upheaval. And there's a part of me that would just like to tell him off.

 

What should I do? I'm having trouble making ends meet, I've applied to all kinds of jobs with no success. Should I just swallow my pride and try call him back?

 

I did call him this weekend and left some messages. He never responded to them. It seems he's not that good either at checking his message, or he just doesn't want to get back to me.

 

I have to wonder why he even called me in the first place honestly... since he's been like non-existence for the past 2 months. And then to call me back twice!?!!? What do you think is up with this?

[EvaGina]

He called you back becuase you asked him too...

Call him back, it would be rude not to. From his lack of replies, I would say he isnt ready to talk to you yet but is trying to be nice.

[SexySadie7]

You must not read the last few lines of my post Gina, I DID call him back, you see... "Anyway, like I say I'm flat broke, so I call him back, saying, "Hey, i got your message and I'm home so if you wanna give a call back, I'm up for awhile at least."

That was 9:30 pm and he never called back."

 

So.. what do I do now? I hate to keep calling him and leaving him messages, because even if I ask nicely in the messages to call me back, he never does!

So.. i'm still broke... in fact I'm not going to be working but one day this weekend, so I could use a scoop if he knows some legal jobs I could do.

Like I said, i don't know what to make of his, "Oh, i know of some way you could make money..message". That sounds a bit sketchy to me.. and he didn't elaborate, so for all i know he's just yanking my chain, knowing I'm desperate for money.

Gosh..((large sigh)) how i wish I didn't spend all the money I did on him... I wouldn't even have to call him in the first place!

 

Like I say, I don't want to coddle to him anymore... it is pointless, but if he knows a place I could get a job, that would be worth the phone call in itself.

 

I don't know if he even wants to get back together with me....like I said, he never apologized for his crummy behavior to me.

He sure didn't act like it.. and honestly, my morale is in the dumps to begin with. My dog just died... my mum died a few months back.. so this is sort of the last thing I need right now... playing any more of his headgames.

What would you do if you were me?

[Batya33]

Sounds to me like the music equipment, the job, etc are excuses to get to talk to him. Playing with fire. I would call him back, tell him you found someone else who wanted the equipment, thanks anyway and you think you have a few leads for a job.

 

If he wanted to be friends, he would have told you that. He's just being polite and I think you are overanalyzing why he called back now and not then.

[pinkelephant]

I think you should wait, since you already left him a message. Don't bombard him with messages. I'm sure he got the first one. If he doesn't call back, well too bad. If he does, great. Don't wait around for it though.

 

 

This guy is obviously unreliable. I'd try to find another way if I were you. And forget about him, he doesn't have much character if he couldn't even break up with you directly. You don't need someone like that as a friend and certainly not a boyfriend.

[SexySadie7]

I'm hardly over analyzing anything Batya!

The fact is.. I've called him several times since we were last together and left messages. He never once returned any of them.

Then I call, and suddenly he's calling me back after only 30 minutes! I have to wonder what's up with that?

ANyway.. I am in desperate needs of some money. We are about to get our power turned off if I don't pay off the bill. I HAD hoped he would buy that equipment. I bought it on a lark, and he was wanting the same thing... so..it would of been a good business deal for me if he bought it, and some way to keep the wolf away from the door.

I don't live in a big city with LOTS and lots of job opportunities.

[afonselaca]

It appears this guy is a waste of your energy. He mentioned a way to make money... big deal. If he were honestly trying to help you he wouldn't leave you hanging on a comment and your thinking about it so much is a waste of YOUR time because it isn't making YOU money.

 

So, use your time wisely by placing your effort into YOURSELF and figuring out how to keep your electric on. Put up an offer to help others at local churches, grocery store boards, college boards. Offer to run errands for the elderly or disabled. Whatever your skillset, get thyself out there. Jobs don't fall from the sky and men with high interest don't behave this way.

 

Sorry to sound so harsh. You are such a non-selfish person and I hate to see you hurting but would hate it more to hear your power was turned off.

[annie24]

It says that if I'm really needing money, he knows of some way I can make it. He doesn't say what.....so that sounds a bit sketchy.. Like just what does he have in mind? I sure hope it's legal, cuz if it's not.. i'm not going there! lol

Anyway, like I say I'm flat broke, so I call him back, saying, "Hey, i got your message and I'm home so if you wanna give a call back, I'm up for awhile at least."

That was 9:30 pm and he never called back.

 

Maybe my mind is in the gutter, but the first thing that came to my mind is that he was insinuating...... sex for money The way you describe him, he sounds like a really skeezy guy, hasn't been good to you at all, very disrespectful. I wouldn't put it past him to suggest something like that. I really doubt that his "job" he has in mind for you is anything legal or uplifting.

 

gross. stay away from him! do not let him degrade you anymore!

[SexySadie7]

Well. I sort of thought that too, when I first heard it briefly.

I listened to the same message again yesterday and it sounded much more innocent, but still, he's not said just what it is.. and I DO have legitimate bills that need to be paid NOW.

I just wish I could get back all the money I spent on gas and phone bills to him. That would pay off one debt at least.

I just don't really get why, all of a sudden, now, he decides to return my phone calls.

He could of just have kept silent and kept ignoring them. Why bother to even be half-polite now??

Like I said, I left him a message again yesterday, and I'm waiting for his call back. If he does know of a legitimate job I could get, I'd gladly check it out.

I'm not so full of pride, I can afford to let my bills go unpaid, esp, things like electricity and car insurance. I can hardly afford to buy groceries at this point.

[annie24]

Forget sitting around the phone waiting for his call. If he's going to call, he will, if he isn't, he won't. He knows your number and he knows to call you. Don't sit around and wait, go out and find a second job right now. At least it will get your mind off of him. Look in the classifieds right now and see if you can find some short term work you can do to get your bills under control.

[SexySadie7]

I've been pounding the pavement for months now with no result. That's why I got desperate enough to call him. I've dropped off countless applications without hearing from anyone either!

my friend, who's a skilled worker, had to leave the state a few weeks ago, just to find work to tide him over! Problem is.. i have no where to stay if I have to leave the area and cannot afford a motel room now either.

[cristal]

Can you apply for some kind of emergency help from the government to tide you over in the meantime?