Disappearing Acts

[cristal]

If you are not getting your needs met in a not so great relationship, do you think by telling your partner your true feelings will scare them away? For example more time together, or more phone calls.

 

I told my partner that he was not calling often enough and he headed for the hills.

[Iwantittoend]

That shouldn't be the case. You should be able to tell your partner anything in a relationship IMO. You need to be able to express your emotions and tell them problems. He obviously just wasn't the right guy for you.

[Batya33]

I don't think a person can be scared away unless what is requested is unreasonable - which is subjective. We all have our needs and in a caring relationship, we try to meet each other's needs without compromising our true values. It also depends on how it is asked, the timing of when it is asked, etc.

[Meow18]

I agree with the others. If you have needs that aren't being met, then it's important to talk about them.

 

Of course, it's also important with how you bring it up and how high you are setting your expectations..

 

If the other person runs, then they just aren't the one for you I guess.

[ImThatGirl]

Disappearing acts are unacceptable. And from my experience, a person that thinks disappearing is an art once, continuously does so until they do it and never return.

[Jetta]

Then he wasn't the right guy for you. I know cliche' but it's true. I told my ex husband we needed to date each other (while still married). He said we didn't have the money. But in the same circumstance was able to start dating others immediately upon our divorce. Now he claims it was me who didn't want to work on the marriage. Maybe it best we've parted ways.

 

According to marriage builders we're supposed to spend 15 hours a week with our S/O (couple time only). They break it down to 2-3 hours a day. Just you and your S/O. That supposedly keeps the love alive. Yet I realize I hated spending alone time with my ex-husband. thereforeeee he really wasn't the right guy for me, just like yours wasn't the right guy for you. Yep still hate being single.

[cristal]

Thanks for all of your replies. I agree with every response here. He certainly was not the right guy for me, otherwise, I would not have to ask for things such as phone calls. He definitely was not into me.

[Momene]

It's given you the opportunity to move on and find someone who can meet more of your needs.

 

Good luck.

[Blizzard]

I feel the same in my relationship, and I have sinced approached my hubby and told him - He then told me how he felt his needs are not being met.

 

I think if they really do love and care for you, then you'll meet half way on this and respect each other's feelings.

 

Blizzard x

[chigal28]

Thanks for all of your replies. I agree with every response here. He certainly was not the right guy for me, otherwise, I would not have to ask for things such as phone calls. He definitely was not into me.

 

I agree he was not the right guy for you, but that's because instead of recognizing that he wasn't meeting your needs and trying to step things up, he decided to run instead.

 

Two people in a relationship will not always have the same needs, such as how often you talk on the phone, which is why we often have to bring things up that we might like to see done differently. So I don't necessarily agree that he wasn't the right guy for you because you had to ask for more phone calls, but because he ran away when you did make your needs known.

 

If he's willing to run off at the slightest suggestion, or if he sees relationships so differently from you that he's not willing to compromise on something like that--well, I say good riddance. You should always be able to make your needs known in a relationship, provided it's done respectfully (and isn't something crazy like "you haven't bought me a new car in weeks. What's up with that?" Unless you're Donald Trump's wife. Which--yuck.)