Found out girl I've been dating has HPV...

[donescobar2000]

Hello!

 

Recently I have been dating an ex again for little over a month. Since things have been getting more serious she informed me she had HPV. She pretty much put the ball on my court stating wether I wanted to stay with her and deal with it. I really had no answer when she told me. I had to let it set in for a bit.

 

A week or so prior to this we engaged in sexual activity for no more than 5 minutes until she stated we needed to stop. At that moment she stated she was not prepared to go all the way. I did use a condom but I am still afraid that I may have contracted the virus.

 

Since then I have received oral from her on a few occasion but I have not done anything to her due to her being on her period. I really do like this girl A LOT and I am really in bind of what I should do. I fear of getting the virus (who knows if I have it already)...any advice?

[annie24]

yeah, 80% of women get it by the age of 50. And i'm not sure that it causes anything in men, or if it does, it is very rare. it's more of a concern that you can pass it on to the next girl you are with. And who knows? maybe you are the one who gave it to her in the first place. it can take several years for a woman to find out she has HPV.

[annie24]

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here are some facts for HPV in men.

[donescobar2000]

yeah, 80% of women get it by the age of 50. And i'm not sure that it causes anything in men, or if it does, it is very rare. it's more of a concern that you can pass it on to the next girl you are with. And who knows? maybe you are the one who gave it to her in the first place. it can take several years for a woman to find out she has HPV.

 

I see...I did read all the info you stated above. It was not me who gave it to her though...she had it prior to me talking to her. I started to talk to her again after not speaking with her for 7 years.

[annie24]

ah, I see. well, if you really like her, and you two are monogamous, it doesn't sound like it should be a problem. on the other hand, if she had HIV, i would tell you to find a new gf. it seems like the risk for men to get complications is far less than for women. however, i bet if you use condoms, it should be alright. talk to your doctor and find out as much information as you can on the web, and decide if the risk is worth it to you.

[donescobar2000]

Ok...I think I will do that...from what I read it look like the use of condoms may help...I'll see what information a doc can give me though.

[annie24]

hm, something else to think about..... it is really common for women to have HPV, i know many women my age who have it. so, even if you break up with this girl, it is possible that the next girl you like could have it. ok, not necessarily an 80% chance if you are meeting a 25 year old, but there is a chance. so i guess in general it would be good to decide how you feel.

 

something else is that HPV tests aren't normally given to women. they usually only get one if their pap smear shows irregularities. so, a woman could have HPV for several years and have clean pap smears. so just because she doesn't know she has it, doesn't mean she doesn't have it.

[donescobar2000]

Right I read that too...It seems like it is such a common thing from the readings online. I'd just hate for our thing to hit the fan and then I am the person giving it up to the next person or my future wife for that matter. In any case I will talk to my doc and protect myself if I decide to follow through with sex. I hope she has the type which "goes away" on it own. We will see though....

[Mythical_Suicide]

I had HPV (it cleared on its on thankfully), and just wanted to throw in alittl ebit of information. Even wearing a condom there is a possibility it can be spread. You may have it as well and not even know it as there isn't a test for men yet. As long as she gets checked routinely she (and you) will be fine, just be sure to inform your next gf about it before having sex with someone else.

[SexySadie7]

Whoa... yes.. guys can catch something bad from HPV. It can sometimes cause penile and anal cancer! Not very often, but do you really want to take a risk on something like this?

As far as women almost 50... 80% have HPV. NO, I just talked to my doctor about this. Maybe 40-50% of population have been EXPOSED to it.

However, once you get this virus, you DON'T get rid of it. And many times, even if the virus is not active, you can STILL get this virus.

Genital warts are not pleasant to deal with. I've known some friends who had these and they had to get them BURNED off... Okay.. i don't know about you.. but the idea of someone cutting or burning something off my genitals is NOT a pleasant idea.

But.. it's up to you... If you really care about this woman, then maybe you think it's worth the risk. Incidentally, just cuz you had sex with her doesn't mean automatically that you've picked up the disease. It depends on alot of things, one of them being your immune system, and how contagious she was at the time.

Because there are certain stages in the disease when you are less likely to pass it on to others. But.. also you can pass it on when you show no sypmtoms at all.

I certainly wish people would STOP acting like HPV is no big deal at all.

Some of these HPV strains, there are like 3 particular ones, cause CERVICAL CANCER in women. Wow.. that's a large problem to one's health if you contracted that.

To me.. i'd almost rather contract HIV... at least there are drugs you can take that will probably keep you alive for years. If you get cancer, there's no telling how long you have left. Think about it.

There is also no test to see if guys have HPV, which is really ridiculous, seeing how serious it is to women. You can be tested for Herpes though, if you are a guy. It's a simple blood test.

Also.. if you have genital warts outside an area covered by a condom, like your vulva if you are female, or your scrotum, if you are a guy, then you can certain pass on HPV to your partner. I've read about virgins who had contracted HPV just from skin to skin contact.

This is not a nice disease to deal with. I think you should get all the facts before you make up your mind to sleep with this girl if you don't think you have HPV.

[Mythical_Suicide]

SexySadie, Woah woah woah! You're doctor gave you some wrong information, yes your body can get rid of HPV. I had the strain that causes cervical cancer with proper care and regular checkups you can prevent cervical cancer from forming. You would rather get HIV? Hun, obviuosly you dont know much about either disease. So you'd rather catch a disease that pretty much makes you feel like you have the worst case of flu all day everyday for the rest of your life rather than a disease that with proper medical treatment can be managed and causes no ill effects? Herpes and HPV are TWO totally different diseases so why is that even brought up? Genital warts are farely harmless so depending what strain this female has also constitutes the fear. But yes, I have had HPV that has cleared on its on and I have Paps every 3 months to make sure it doesnt come back. Oh, and the statistics of females with HPV are higher than 50% (information provided below from American Cancer Society Website)So, please check your information again.

 

 

"How common is HPV?

HPV is the most common sexually transmitted virus. It has been estimated that 75% or more of sexually active Americans will contract HPV sometime in their lives. This means that anyone who has ever had sexual relations has a high chance of being exposed to this virus, but only a small number of women infected with HPV develop cell changes that need to be treated. In almost all cases, the immune system will keep the virus (including the cancer-related HPV types) under control or get rid of it completely. However, if HPV infection does not go away over many years, there is a greater chance of developing cell changes that may lead to cervical cancer. Only very rarely does the presense of HPV lead to cervical cancer.

"

[Mythical_Suicide]

I also wanted to add about the Cancer comment, With modern medicines the way they are you have a better chance of surviving Cervical Cancer today than most any other form of Cancer or Disease (HIV included)

[annie24]

those are good points mythical. don, make sure that your gf is getting regular pap smears now, if she monitors her health closely, things should be fine. On the other hand, HIV is a death sentence, there is no other way around that. if you are lucky enough to have money and insurance, you can take 25 pills each day for the rest of your life, but many people stop taking them because it is so difficult. the drugs lead to extreme discomfort, naseua, etc..... it does not prolong your life indefinitely. it only slows the progression of the virus, gives you extra years, but those years are definitely difficult.

 

A main reason why there is no test for hpv in men is that many men clear the virus on their own, and the chances they get cancer from it are very low, much lower than the risk that a woman can get cervical cancer. It's also tricky, as the virus lives in the skin, so getting a good test for men isn't so easy. if you read more on the CDC webpage, it has a list of reasons why there is no vaccine or testing for HPV in men.

[Mythical_Suicide]

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There's two very informative websites on and about HPV and Cervical Cancer for Women.

 

and here's one for information about HPV in Men,

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[annie24]

However, once you get this virus, you DON'T get rid of it. And many times, even if the virus is not active, you can STILL get this virus.

 

this is true for herpes simplex virus, not necessarily for HPV.

[Mythical_Suicide]

this is true for herpes simplex virus, not necessarily for HPV.

 

 

Yes very true!, and I think alot of people get the two confused or think they're the same thing when in reality they're not. That's why it's so sad that up until recently HPV wasn't a highly spoke about STD, I didn't know anything about it until I was told I had this when I was pregnant. It's really sad considering it's one of the most commonly transmitted STD's.

[donescobar2000]

I know this may sound crazy...but what oral sex?

[BeStrongBeHappy]

HPV is the $2 term for human wart virus... there are tons of different strains of wart viruses, and you can get them anywhere, hands, face, body, genitals etc. and almost everyone has had warts at some time in their lives, and usually many times, and lots go away on their own... so you can get warts from ANY kind of contact. so yes, you could get them from oral sex or anyone just touching your body, but please keep this in perspective and don't freak out unnecessarily.

 

Wart virus is everywhere (think cold virus), everyone has some, they come and go, etc. so people can get obsessively worried about something that is quite common, and can usually be dealt with as no big deal.

 

any women who has been diagnosed with genital warts (the potentially more dangerous strains) does need to get monitored carefully with Pap smears to make sure they don't cause further problems, but ALL women should have Pap smears regularly too. the cervical cancer survival rate is 92-95%, and that is for all stages combined (i.e., women even those women who don't get regular checkups and discover they have it very late on). so if someone contracts HPV, they just need to be sure they get their regular Pap smears for the small chance they will get cancer, and getting it very early usually doesn't even require a hysterectomy, they have so many other good techniques they can use these days...

 

so lots of the hysteria about HPV is related to people not being educated and clumping it in their own minds with more serious diseases like HIV... the good news is that there is now a vaccine for young woman that should help prevent them catching it, but if anyone gets it and is monitored and tested for it, it is like any other risk factor (i.e., a family history of high blood pressure, stroke, diabetes, breast cancer etc.), not a guarantee that one will get cancer.

 

but there is a good chance most girls you encounter might have it and not know it, so just use condoms if in doubt and to make you feel more comfortable about it.

[HyruleGuardian]

My girlfriend also has HPV. Here is the original thread I posted about it:

 

She goes in for regular pap exams every 3 months. Luckily she has the kind that is supposed to clear up on its own, but there's still a chance it can develop into cancer. Her next exam is on March 15th, and this is supposed to decide what kind she has. I'm praying for the best.

 

When I first found out she had it, I was in shock. I really didn't know much about the virus itself. All I heard from classes and TV was that it produced genital warts. But I told her that no matter what, I'll stay by her side and support her through this. I'm not the type of guy to walk out on a girl because of her past. She's changed her life around and is trying to get better.

 

My best advice is to decide if she is a girl you want to be with. If she is, then try to support her through it. Hopefully she has a case that will clear up in time. My girlfriend and I haven't had sex yet, and are refraining from sexual contact until we are sure the HPV has cleared up.

[Mythical_Suicide]

any women who has been diagnosed with genital warts (the potentially more dangerous strains) does need to get monitored carefully with Pap smears to make sure they don't cause further problems, but ALL women should have Pap smears regularly too.

 

 

 

I just wanted to clear up not all strains of HPV are/or cause genital warts. There are strains that only cause genital warts and there are strains that can cause cervical cancer (without the warts). Ive never had a wart in my life.

[donescobar2000]

I think I am going to talk to her about serious her condition may be...Maybe suggest we do not have sex until it's gone. However...I know this may not sit well with her. I saw some pics of genitial warts and it scared the crap out of me. Hopefully she has the type which eventually rids itself.

[annie24]

that sounds like a good plan. even though the risk is not great, i wouldn't have sex with someone either if I knew they had an active infection, who wants the 1% chance of getting genital warts? not really worth it to me!

[agualibre777]

WOAH!!!

 

Hold up here!!! I think you should first see if she meant that she had an abnormal pap smear and that's how she found out she had HPV. You know what??? HPV is SOOO common that they don't even routinely check it. If you are in your twenties they just **assume** you have it! And people can have it, test negative, but they still have it, it's just that there isn't enough virus for them to test for. Basically, you can assume that if you've had five partners you have various different strains of the virus.

 

This is not something to be stressing about. THE VIRUS THAT CAUSES ABNORMAL PAP SMEARS DOES NOT CAUSE GENITAL WARTS. AND, yes, she could have got the HPV from you 7 years ago even.

 

Believe me, I know A LOT about HPV, because that is my specialty at the clinic. I educate the patients at our clinic about HPV.

 

Some doctors even tell their patients that they don't need to tell their partner that they have HPV. And most women that have an abnormal pap with HPV clear it in a year without a problem. And actually, the standard is to have a pap ever 6 months for 1.5 years after the abnormal pap to make sure it's cool. Sometimes it's just for a year as long as the second pap is negative for HPV. There is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO GO BACK EVERY THREE MONTHS FOR A PAP. That actually is completely wrong to do and not standard procedure because HPV takes time to clear just like it takes time to show up.

Actually, I'm more concerned about your girlfriend than I am about you... Because you can give HER more strains....

[donescobar2000]

She told me she had an abnormal test and the doctor gave her an additional test. This is when she was advised she had the HPV.

 

She defintitley did not get the virus from me because we where never sexually active then...we only dated for about 2 months and nothing happened.

[SexySadie7]

Donnosbar, I think that's a good idea, what you suggested: " think I am going to talk to her about serious her condition may be...Maybe suggest we do not have sex until it's gone. However...I know this may not sit well with her. I saw some pics of genitial warts and it scared the crap out of me. Hopefully she has the type which eventually rids itself."

It [red]should[/red] scare the crap out of you. Hey, you are really playing russian roullette here with your health. How do you know if the kind of HPV you contract mystic suicide is going to be the kind that give ONLY genital warts (which, I wouldn't want to deal with myself) or cervical cancer?

You have no way of knowing when you sleep with someone, what kind of HPV you could catch from them.

And are you saying that once you catch the HPV that causes cervical cancer in women, and your Pap tests come out clear for a good while, that you are no longer able to pass that virus onto someone else or that you no longer have the virus at all?

Please clarify that for me. I don't care if 95% of the population had this disease! I don't want it!

That's one reason I don't sleep around. Seems to me it ought to be alot of people's reason, if they value their health.