socially confused

[confused90]

I can't to connect with people. I had really bad social skills when I was little but now I have been reading books on social and conversation skills but it doesn't seem to help.

 

When I talk to people, I feel that they are not interested in talking to me. The next time I see the people that I've talked to, they don't even acknowledge me. This makes me feel like i've offended them in some way but I don't know how. I've been working at a company for about 5 months and the relationship between me and the people there feels like the first day. I feel ignored One thing I know for sure is that i'm a nice guy but maybe i'm too nice and that makes me boring??

 

I don't know what is wrong with the way i'm interacting with people. I love being social and not being able to make friends depress me. Also i'm 23 but never had a gf or date.

 

A lot of time I feel that people don't like me because I'm unattractive. I'm not over weight though. I'm 5'8 165lbs and I work out at least 4 times a week and I surf at least once a week.

 

What should I do? Can somebody recommend a book about social interaction? I've read dale carnegie book btw.

 

Thanks

[Night Pumpkin]

Books are good but practical experience is more important. Set quotas for yourself. Like say, in this coming week, every day you will initiate a conversation with atleast 10 people. Then the next week, make it 12. Put the same discipline you would into social interaction as you would into work or school. Practice practice practice is what will help you, not reading books...

[Jeffrey2095]

Hi Confused90,

 

I have gotten much the same sometimes from people.

 

Maybe they got the wrong impression of you... or you them too.

 

The chances for misunderstanding and re-interpretation are always double you know.

 

I have felt much the same way at times if that is any concellation.

 

The Dale Carnegie book, "How To Win Friends and Influence People" has been a very popular standard for much of the last century.

 

Well, perhaps you can find some good tips and experiences here at ENA, welcome.

 

Jeff

[Locke2121]

The word for today is skills , and your learning them little by little. Skills have to be learned, and there are alot of pitfalls along the way. Forget books and manuels that tell you how to be a better talker...just get out there, throw your inhibitions to the wind and socialize. Ask some of your more social friends if you can tag along and watch how they do it. But don't set on the sidelines. Start out with a few little quips so that everyone stays comfortable with your presense....you don't want to be the fifth wheel here!

 

As time goes on, you will slowly develop a more relaxed and outgoing attitude, which is the first big step in becoming a more social person.