Friend wants sex w/ BoyFriend

[o not alone o 1234506]

i was out with my friend last night...and we went to eat and park and started talking...and she started mentioning to me how she found my boyfriend atractive...and how her husband said that i was attractive to... and than we basically started talking into a deep conversation...and she basically told me that she wanted to have sex wtih my boyfriend...and she asked me my boyfriend and i were into 4 sums.

 

I couldnt stop laughing. I didnt think she was serious....and we were drinking....but than i realized she was serious... and she said that i have stuff in common with her boyfriend and she has stuff in common with mine...

 

i dont know how to take this....

shes a good friend... but a wild one....

and if you wondering what im thinking..... yes i find her husband attractive...but i would never do it...

 

she has been wtih her husband for 7 years

and ive been wtih my boyfriend for 6.... they both work in the same field...and our boyfriends are best friends.

 

How should I feel about this.... should i feel that i have to watfch my back all the time.... or should I feel that I know my boyfriend wouldnt ever do such a thing to me... (no effence to those who do it) ... but its just not something that i would do.

 

can someone please explain this to me...

is it because hes such a good faithful man to me and everyone thinks we have such a great relationship and maybe people just want to test us....

 

 

someone... please give me some insight

[NYCB]

don't do it. seriously. don't do it.

[EvaGina]

TELL HIM about it and voice your concerns, you dont want her husband approaching him while they are on the booze and them setting up a "surprise" or anything!!!

 

I have had friends who have been after my bf's... its always a case of the grass being greener...

 

dont do it

[o not alone o 1234506]

i definitally wont do it....

but...wouldnt you feel weird around her always now? or weird if they go out together and your not there? or is it the case of trusting your boyfriend...

 

or trusting them both?

 

more info more info!

[kate111]

ergh. Gross. Just my personal opinion.

[treefrogkate]

I would discuss it with your boyfriend and make sure that you agree on this point. It's too easy to just say "Oh we would never do it" without asking him his opinion on it. Especially if she were to (god forbid) come on to him at a later date and say "Oh, your girlfriend said it was ok".

 

I would feel very uncomfortable around her, but would tell her in no uncertain terms that you are not interested, and that if she were to approach your boyfriend that your friendship is over, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

 

Then you just have to trust your boyfriend (no reason not to, since he's not the one who brought the situation up) and keep a slightly closer watch on your friend.

[o not alone o 1234506]

0OK NOW.... "jess do u want to?" and i said "no thats cheating" and he said.... "ya sure u dont...i gatta get back to work(than he hung up)"....

 

he alwasy thought i was attracted to her husband...he always said that to me....

 

now he wont answer his phone

is he waiting for me to say that i want to so he can say he wants to

is he waiting for me to say no so he can say no

is he tryign to act like he wants to to see if i really would so that he can fill me out and see if im really gonna be faithful forever

 

 

im so nervous and upset about this....this is a really bad situation... what if we really never know...

 

i wouldnt ever cheat on scott...i wouldtn ever sleep with another man when i have a man already....

 

im scared...wers this gonna take us!

[i1dr]

I'd say "when and where" ... and if it doensn't work out ... there is always the booze to blame! ( Just for a different point of view.) Ask your BF what he thinks?

[EvaGina]

DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU

it doesnt matter what he is doing or why, YOU dont want to, so dont.

You dont have to prove anything to anyone

[o not alone o 1234506]

ok so...

 

i asked him again and he really flipped out saying "LISTEN...I DONT LIKE HER AND I NEVER WILL....ID NEVER DO THAT AND MAYBE UR JUST FREAKIN CRAZY BECAUSE YOU WANT TO....thats cheating and no i do not want to have sex with anyone but you....so leave me alone im busy at work and i never want to hear this * * * * ever again come up"

 

now he thinks i want to...and i dont...

how do i act,....do i keep this girl as my friend...

i have a feeling there swingers... i swear there filling us both out to see if we want to....oh goodness.... weird....

 

still be her friend?... even if her bf said he wants to have sex with me when he was drunk...and even if she told me she wante dto have sex with him when SHE was drunk (yesterday)...

 

 

someone please slap me in the face of reality

[EvaGina]

Its unfair of him to yell at you when you are confused, for one thing.

Wait till he gets home and talk to him about it. DONT let him yell at you, just tell him that you dont know how to act around your friends now.

[NYCB]

if you have to... print out this thread and show it to him. That would be worst case scenario but it's better than him not trusting you. Your doubt and disgust is evident from the first post.

[yokeydokey]

yeah, listen - 4 lives will get ruined with that stuff. You need new friends.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

they could be swingers, and lots of them 'befriend' people for a while then suggest a get together... which you should just turn down and say that neither of you are interested in that and never will be.

 

you then have to decide whether she is someone you want to be friends with or not after this, outside of anything else. she may go back to never mentioning it again, but then if you feel too uncomfortable with them, and your boyfriend does as well, it might be best just to cut contact with them as a couple.

 

swinging is a pretty different lifestyle, and if you're not inclined to it, then it could get awkward every time you see them or one of them has too much a drink and comes onto you or your boyfriend.