The First Cut is the Deepest

[sofia84]

That's the title of a famous Sheryl Crowe song. So my question is - is it true? Is breaking up for the first time the hardest? Cos I've only been in one relationship and when that ended, I remember thinking, "so this is what it feels like to have your heart broken." I felt like crap and didn't take care of myself very well for a while. But now that I've been through it, I think next time I'll be able to handle it better. What about you guys? Was your first break-up the toughest?

[melrich]

The second was the worst for me. I think it depends on how long you were together, how entwined your lives were.

 

In theory you should get better and better at coping with break ups as you experience and learn from them. But something can always come out of left field and floor you.

[renaissancewoman101]

I do agree with you, your first love is pretty much the one you remember the most and the one that hurts the most and is hardest to get over. My first love broke my heart because he ended up coming out of the closet. I dont think I really ever let go of him, because he is still a good friend of mines and I still have some feelings for him.

 

It's hard to let go of your first love, that I do know.

[emma34]

Ya know - I gotta say I agree with that song. Granted my first relationship has also been my longest, I definitely think that the first one is the hardest - maybe because the first time the breaking point isnt as visible... and of course, once you had your heart broken once...well, thats when you learn the "time truly does heal" thing.

[isidore]

For me the second cut was the deepest. I was with the second one less time than the first, but my love for her was pure. Got to agree with Melrich.

[Dako]

My first one wasn't as bad as the second.

 

BTW Cat Stevens wrote and performed that tune.

[laboheme]

I agree with both viewpoints here. Yes, you can get more attached to someone besides your first love, and that breakup will hurt a lot more...But with each breakup after the first one, you know that you are capable of moving on, even if it doesn't feel like you're going to anytime soon. You can look back and think about how you found someone after your first breakup, and how you'll find someone after this one, too...

 

With the first one, however, it's hard to believe that life will go on, no matter how many times people tell us that. Also, there's that sense of the loss of innocence that you can never get back...

[isidore]

I agree with both viewpoints here. Yes, you can get more attached to someone besides your first love, and that breakup will hurt a lot more...But with each breakup after the first one, you know that you are capable of moving on, even if it doesn't feel like you're going to anytime soon. You can look back and think about how you found someone after your first breakup, and how you'll find someone after this one, too...

 

With the first one, however, it's hard to believe that life will go on, no matter how many times people tell us that. Also, there's that sense of the loss of innocence that you can never get back...

 

Well said. I'd do well to keep that in mind more.

[craigm]

I sure hope this is as bad as it will ever get.

[MissTee]

First break up for sure.

 

We lost out virginity to eachother, together for two and half years... We went from being teenagers to adults together.

 

Worst pain I've ever felt. However, if me and my current SO broke up, I think that would kill me.

[Brooke657]

Can be but I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that it's the first time your breaking up. My first breakup was really easy, second one not so much.

[Steve316]

That's the title of a famous Sheryl Crowe song. So my question is - is it true? Is breaking up for the first time the hardest? Cos I've only been in one relationship and when that ended, I remember thinking, "so this is what it feels like to have your heart broken." I felt like crap and didn't take care of myself very well for a while. But now that I've been through it, I think next time I'll be able to handle it better. What about you guys? Was your first break-up the toughest?

 

This latest break up has been my worst I would say but that is because it was by far my longest relationship (3 years longer than my previous one of 18 months). You may be able to handle it slightly better (I am HANDLING it better than the last one in terms of not chasing my ex constantly and making a fool of myself) but it will still hurt just as bad, if not worse.

[Wandering_Sword]

It hurts the same no matter what. Yes I agree that time together is a big factor, from there its all pain... *sigh* Sadly, its a pain I'm willing to endure over and over again. Ahhh... to live, breath and be human.

[number5]

I'd have to say my first, so far, has been the worst.

 

The third one, I just went through, was more of a "Damn." moment, ya know?

 

It's just like, we had something good, but it ended.....damn.

[lessy20]

Yes definitely the deepest! But it was also the longest relationship I've been in (4 years), and I had the most invested in him. I'm still working to fully get over him, if possible.