Ah well

[Zaphod]

Broke up with my girl about two weeks ago. I'm md thirties, she's early twenties, could have something to do with it. However she's a bit mature like that, part of the reason I was with her for two years - I don't make a habit of dating girls 13 years my junior.

Confusing break up - she claims she hasn't really lost any feelings for me, still finds me attractive, still loves me. The relationship has been really good actually, no major arguing, treating each other with respect, very much in love, no skeletons in the closet/ex partners etc.

I have been down with life stresses temporarily for about six months - nothign particularly unusual just slight financial worries etc. etc. she suddenly claims she "can't go back". I think she has found coping with my stress a bit heavy. She also thanked me for never directing these stresses on to her in any way, which I was pleased about.

Now my stresses are over, I find it confusing she wants to end it - surely our future is brighter now?

I had recently decided it might be fun for us to take a step back and start "dating" again - we don't live together, I was looking forward to us freshening things up a bit. But you could have knocked me down with a feather - she wants to end it.

 

Ah well - I conclude with what experience I have that she has decided perhaps it's not so much to do with me as the fact that she doesn't need a relationship in her life at the moment or some such soundbite.

 

I always have problems splitting up with women when ya both still fancy and respect each other - very confusing. When you go off each other for some reason it makes it a lot easier.

 

Anyway - just venting. New here so thought I'd share the story.

Pretty heartbroken but hay hum oh well. Just a bit confusing this one, that's all.

 

 

[herewegoagain]

Welcome to Enotalone.

 

Well, if she ended it, then just leave her be. Do strict NC.

 

There is nothing you can say or do that will change her mind - it is up to her.

 

Move on, and maybe she will come back, maybe she won't. But don't wait on her; move on with your life.

 

Take care of YOU right now.

[darkpumpkin]

Being young you sometimes think about if your with the right one. The stress of someone older is different. It's almost like a different world. When you see that stress i can remind you how different it is. It's just an idea due to my situation of dating someone in their 30's.

[Zaphod]

yeah darkpumpkin that was kinda what had occurred to me. Shame that now the stress is over and she's gone

I think the age gap thing does work - but it depends on the individuals, at what stage they're both at with their lives and so forth.....

I am a very young 36 year old put it that way. Not immature, just young

The ladies always mistake me for 25 hahahaha that's gotta be fun hasn't it

[need2bme]

That is why I am always scared of dating someone younger. Just seems too big of a gap. She wouldn't even know what an LP was.

 

You seem to be handling it well, for someone totally in love. Did you see it coming? I can relate to stresses. Mine were unreal and had to do with finances, as well.

 

I think it is what pushed my EX over the edge.

[darkpumpkin]

It is a gap but as you said she was mature. hey I don't know what LP means.

Just don't rule out the younger girls. Some of them can take the stress and deal with whatever comes. If that's what your looking for

[need2bme]

DarkPumpkin: It means Long Play and refers to the speed of an album (or is sometimes synonomous with an album).

 

I guess I would date someone much younger, if they were willing to communicate and we got along well. I mean, I am a bit goofy anyway. ;-)

 

But, as for the OP and what you eluded to, I guess you have to find someone who can deal with all the stresses that come with getting older and having major respnsibilities (not to post that younger people don't have responsibilities). ;-)

[darkpumpkin]

lol thank you. I was curiouse....lol and felt super young for not knowing.

[need2bme]

LOL and I just felt super OLD, from your comment.

[Zaphod]

That is why I am always scared of dating someone younger. Just seems too big of a gap. She wouldn't even know what an LP was.

 

You seem to be handling it well, for someone totally in love. Did you see it coming?

 

Funny you should bring up LP's - one of the hobbies we have enjoyed together is DJ'ing - mostly vinyl! We are both house dj's. However I doubt she'd be too familiar with Led Zeppelin 3

 

The "did I see it coming" bit is a bit of a bummer - catch 22 - I should have seen it coming but took my eye off the ball due to my life stresses, I tried to pick it up again recently and like I say wanted to chat to her about lightening off, but it seems it is too late for her.

 

Just don't rule out the younger girls. Some of them can take the stress and deal with whatever comes. If that's what your looking for

 

I've even talked this through with ther in the past - the age gap - and we've always decided it was not a problem. However perhaps she was not being honest with herself. Or perhaps it was nothing to do with the age gap - she has been rather vague with her reasons. I'm still a touch confused by it.

 

 

 

 

I guess I would date someone much younger, if they were willing to communicate and we got along well. I mean, I am a bit goofy anyway. ;-)

 

Yeah exactly - I'm pretty immature as far as life goes for a man in his mid thirties - I am an artist, web designer, and musician - I don't have a steady career, rent a flat, and am not ready to get married.

However I would like to consider myself mature in terms of respecting other people, and emotional stuff to be fair to myself.

We are a good catch for a younger lady IMHO they seem to have fun with us.

She chased me in the beginning really, started phoning me out of the blue and stuff.