Selfish in the Bedroom

[kr356]

don't get me wrong, the sex is great.. most of the time. by that I mean, it is always great but sometimes he comes before I do, but I have to live with that.

 

what is starting to annoy me is how he always wants oral, all the time, and I don't in the least mind doing it, actually I enjoy doing it, but sometimes it would be nice for me to get the same treatment without it being a 69.

 

It's either, no oral for me, or try and enjoy it while i am on top trying to hold myself up and do what i have to do i to him at the same time.. sure, once every 6 months maybe we try me on the bottom of the 69, but while it gives my arms a rest it's not all that much better..

 

i know he said that sometimes the smell is stronger then other days, that's natural and i can understand that, but he has a stronger smell sometimes and i still give it a little bit of a go, if it's too much of a strong smell i try to do something else.

 

the last time he gave me oral for more then 2 licks before trying to just have sex, (that wasn't a 69), was on our anniversary 2 years ago.. and man is he good with that..

 

i have asked if he hates doing it, and he said no, he loves it, but mentioned the smell thing, which is cool. i told him if he doesn't like doing it i just wanted him to tell me and i wouldn't care (at least i would have a reason for him not doing it very often)

but he always tells me (via txt and email etc) that he can't wait to.. kiss me down there.. so yeah..

 

I don't think I am asking to much, just maybe once a month..

 

we don't see eachother very often, only every other weekend, sometimes every weekend, and i mean within that time we probably have sex 4 - 7 times, he gets oral maybe 10 times (sometimes less).. and i get oral(including 69)... once... if i am lucky..

 

anyway, we have just come out (slowly) of a 'break' we are taking things slowly, but i don't know if i can continue on for the rest of our lives feeling left out of our sex life, i don't want to bring it up with him right now, as we are still slowly sorting things out, is there anything i can do to give him subtle hints?

 

sorry it's so long.. i ramble a bit.. and sorry if it's a bit too detailled, I'm sure mods will delete if necessary.

 

 

- kr356

[vandgsmom]

Sexual health in a relationship is right up there with emotional health, to me.

 

Communication is the key in AND out of the bedroom.

 

Tell him your feelings and if he is understanding I am sure that you two can reach some kind of amicable conclusion (hopefully one that finds you at the end of steamy, satisfying sex).

 

Just tell him, because if nothing else, it is going to eat away at you until you do.

[kr356]

Yeah, I should talk to him, it's hard to bring that up though, because I dont want him to think he isn't good, because he is, it would just be nice if i got to see how good more often lol

 

thanks vandgsmom

[EvaGina]

a dirty smile and "I want your tongue in my *****" then a lot of encouragment while hes down there should do it

[vandgsmom]

it's hard to bring that up though, because I dont want him to think he isn't good, because he is, it would just be nice if i got to see how good more often lol

 

 

^ and THAT is EXACTLY what you should start with.

 

Preface it with that you are in no way saying you don't enjoy with he DOES DO, it is just that sometimes you might like him to do OTHER things... *hint hint*

 

And I know that it sounds like pandering, but when and if he does go down there, compliment him. It will make him more likely to repeat the performance.

[Meow18]

You need to talk to him about this. You can't exactly call him selfish when he might not even know the problem is there.

 

Tell him that you feel left out sometimes. You love pleasing him, but it would be nice for him to return the favor more often.

[zerohalo]

I sympathize with the smell issue, and actually the taste too. My ex tasted and smelled very acidic, and if she didn't trim, shave or wax it was magnified by... well a lot. You could just try prepping your nether regions for the event, and if he still does the two-licks-I'm-outta-here routine, then you probably need to have that talk.

[kr356]

a dirty smile and "I want your tongue in my *****" then a lot of encouragment while hes down there should do it

 

i will give that a go

 

^ and THAT is EXACTLY what you should start with.

 

Preface it with that you are in no way saying you don't enjoy with he DOES DO, it is just that sometimes you might like him to do OTHER things... *hint hint*

 

And I know that it sounds like pandering, but when and if he does go down there, compliment him. It will make him more likely to repeat the performance.

 

thanks for that, I will try that

 

You need to talk to him about this. You can't exactly call him selfish when he might not even know the problem is there.

 

Tell him that you feel left out sometimes. You love pleasing him, but it would be nice for him to return the favor more often.

 

yea you have a good point, I mean I have mentioned it once before, but that was a while ago and it was just really a comment, because i didnt want to make a big deal over it, if you know what i mean.. but maybe i need to make it a more serious issue

 

I sympathize with the smell issue, and actually the taste too. My ex tasted and smelled very acidic, and if she didn't trim, shave or wax it was magnified by... well a lot. You could just try prepping your nether regions for the event, and if he still does the two-licks-I'm-outta-here routine, then you probably need to have that talk.

 

yea i can understand the whole smell and taste thing, i normally keep myself shaven there etc, i didnt last time mainly because i had 4 weeks of a 'break' so i had no reason for it lol. i do know what i taste like though, and i can be a little.. acidic i guess, only slightly, but i guess that could be a factor if it gets worse some days etc.

but i wash as often as possible there, etc. obviously though some days will be a stronger smell then others, that's like anything really. I guess i better talk to him about exact what the problem with it is.

 

thanks

[doyathink]

Ok, if the only thing he has mentioned to you is the smell ...then can you not shower just before hand? And if taste is a turn off then they do make flavored stuff you can put on it...

 

I think it's different for every man...mine said I don't have a taste and as for smell, he said he really couldn't smell much...but I always shower right before and I give it a spritz of body mist....lol

[Hubbys_glitter_is_gold]

As far as being "acidic" water will fix that. Drink more water atleast 3 to 4 full glasses a day, cut down on soda and certain fruits and juices and that little problem can be resolved just that quickly..Water dilutes the acids of the body and flushes it out...atleast thats what i was told because i had a high level of acid in my "fluids" so, drink more water.

[kr356]

Ok, if the only thing he has mentioned to you is the smell ...then can you not shower just before hand? And if taste is a turn off then they do make flavored stuff you can put on it...

 

I think it's different for every man...mine said I don't have a taste and as for smell, he said he really couldn't smell much...but I always shower right before and I give it a spritz of body mist....lol

 

well when he mentioned how the smell can change from day to day, sometimes it's fine others it's not, he didnt really pin point me, we were just talking in general, if we liked giving oral etc, and he jsut said that it depends and explained the smell thing.

 

I mean, sometimes i do shower before hand, or i have showered recently.. sometimes you dont know where or when something is going to happen though.

 

As far as being "acidic" water will fix that. Drink more water atleast 3 to 4 full glasses a day, cut down on soda and certain fruits and juices and that little problem can be resolved just that quickly..Water dilutes the acids of the body and flushes it out...atleast thats what i was told because i had a high level of acid in my "fluids" so, drink more water.

 

I do need to drink more water, but i can't stand the taste.. do you know if putting somekind of flavouring in it would be a bad thing, or since i am still having majority of water i should be ok?

 

thanks for that tip though, didn't realise that

[Hubbys_glitter_is_gold]

yea you can flavor it a little...im guilty as charge to putting a smal lemon wedge in my water. i feel if its more water than lemon then what can it hurts, and it doesnt hurt a thing. i absolutely hate drinking water but you gotta do what you gotta do and if making sacrifices is a option then hey, take that option..Life comes with sacrifices.. just think of it like this the more water you drink the less acid the more lickity split..

[wayne]

Maybe a polite request... "Do that thing with your tongue... please? Mmmmm, yes, do that some more!" And wiggle your hips a bit while he's doing it. We love that. And run your fingers through his hair.

 

I don't know that shaving it will make a difference, unless there's lots of hair actually in the way. A bath definitely helps. Our rule is that no oral sex is expected unless the receiver has bathed recently and has not had any hint of a period for at least two or three days.

 

Be sure and kiss him when he's done. It shows your appreciation and lets you know if there's any taste issues.

[TiredMan]

While he does come accross as being a hypocrite wanting oral all the time and not giving it, which is key, there is some truth to one part of what he says.

 

You just can't compare female odor to male odor, with few exceptions. Male genitalia is all on the outside so you are not dealing with interior stuff so unless he doesn't bathe or scrub, it'll all smell the same. Now what comes out of it is affected by diet and so forth. But a woman's genetalia can have bad odor even when/if she washes all the time. The closest thing I found to the bad odor type is smelling someone's anus and combining it with something foul. This is kind of nasty but the REALLY bad ones would be combined with something like stale cheese. Ewwww. But not all are this way thankfully.

 

When he has told you about your odor, how did you react to it?

 

That being said, always communicate if something like this bothers you. Maybe there is something you guys can do about it (douche maybe?). The fact that he does do it sometimes (you said 69) at least makes me feel like he is not just completely against doing oral ever.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

I agree with you completely Tiredman, except for one thing. Douching will cause her natural PH balance to be messed with, possibly causing infection or an even worse fragrance.

[TiredMan]

I wouldn't do it often but I don't think it's that bad every once in a while no? What other options could there be if it's really bad even if washes regularly and there is nothing physically wrong?

[the yang to the worlds yin]

Just coincidental, but I've found drinking fruit smoothies regularly, made it pretty good. And she should make sure to wear cotton underwear, so that she can " breathe."

 

However as a man, I'm sure you know, that some women just have a very pungent scent. It takes an aquired taste, because that won't change.

[TiredMan]

Just coincidental, but I've found drinking fruit smoothies regularly, made it pretty good. And she should make sure to wear cotton underwear, so that she can " breathe."

 

However as a man, I'm sure you know, that some women just have a very pungent scent. It takes an aquired taste, because that won't change.

 

Yeah lol. Some are very bad. Some are ok. I have been around a few that honestly was deeply nauseating. When I was in school, my friend was messing around with a girl like this.They were in the bedroom and you could smell it in the living room. She asked him to do down and he kicked her out lol.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

Now thats gotta be a yeast infection.. I don't know who I feel worse for, the girl or the guy.

[TiredMan]

Now thats gotta be a yeast infection.. I don't know who I feel worse for, the girl or the guy.

 

How about me? I wasn't even doing anything but felt like passing out. It was bad. She got mad that he wouldn't go down on her even with the odor. I remember he told me that he got ticked and told her she smelled like old parmaghan cheese (which is what it smelled like) lol.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

Oh wow, yikes.

 

Now thats gotta be attributed to just plain old bad hygiene.

[TiredMan]

I don't know. I never asked her. I just laughed as my buddy kicked her out.

[kr356]

Hubbys_glitter_is_gold, thanks I will do that

 

 

wayne, I do kiss him, i enjoy tasting me after he is done.. but thanks for the tips with what to say

 

 

 

I understand that you can't compare them like they are the same thing, thanks for your input. he never really said it was MY smell, (this was a fair while ago) he jsut said that while he enjoys giving oral in general sometimes the smell is stronger then other times.. he never really came out and said it was me only.. and he is always quiet upfront with me and i wouldn't take offence if he said it was a bit strong for him.

 

I know some women can be quiet strong down there, and what i taste like isn't nearly as bad as some i have come accross, but then again i guess all taste buds are different for everyone.

 

that's what was i found (about him doing it sometimes, but only if it's 69) i kept thinking that maybe it wasn't so much to do with the smell as he just liked me to give him oral so he figured i'll do it while she does me.

 

 

 

omg.. that's really horrible.. *cringes at the thought*

 

sounds like TERRIBLE hygenie to me... personally if you dont shower atleast once a day...ew.. if it's really hot here (i'm from australia and most days are stinking hot) i will have two.

[TiredMan]

Hmmm interesting. Maybe he only does the 69 oral because he is getting it too so he isnt dwelling on the odor or even thinking about it. That is all I can think of.

 

I think you are doing the right things though like what was said earlier.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Do you eat a lot of garlic or spicy foods? That can make the make your vagina smell different. If you drink cranberry juice and lots of water it should help keep a good balance of the bacteria in the vagina. There low pH (acidic) cran juice will help make the vaginal area more acidic which can kill odor causing bacteria. The acidity also helps reduce the risk of urinary track infections. Drink at least 64 oz of water to keep you hydrated, that will mean you're also better lubricated for sex as well.

 

Another thing to do is to eat live yogurt cultures, that can help the bacteria balance as well.