First time post , Looking for your point of view on this...

[carlcarlson]

Hey guys this is my first post on anything like this I just came accross this site and looks like you guys can help me out with some advice with this. I been dating my girlfriend for about a year and half I really do care a lot about her its been my second serious relationship I been in . But here is what bugs me and actually end my first serious relationship she is not a virgin. I myself I am not a Virgin and never really cared for it cause most of my relationships have just been on "having fun basis", the only other time this bother me was with my first serious girl which was 5 years ago . I ended that Relationship cause of that and here 5 year later I find myself wanting to same with my current Girlfriend cause it bothers me . I know it sounds stupid and double stander but I cant help it seems like when I really care and see a future with a girl this becomes a issue for me , sorry if the post doesn't make much sense as not to great with putting thoughts in writing. thanks in advance for any replies

[EvaGina]

So, I take it you and your gf dont have sex?

 

yes, it is a total double standard... overly unrealistic and very destructive.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Carl - I dunno how old you are but that could clearly have a bearing on the kinds of girls you're dating. As you get older and older I have a feeling it will get harder and harder to date girls who AREN'T experienced.

 

You may have some jealousy issues to work on but I think if and when the right girl comes along, those things won't even be an issue anymore.....

[zerohalo]

You're going to have to get over that you weren't the first guy to stick his toe into her pond. If you were a virgin yourself, you'd have at least some ground to stand on, but as you're not it's a very cruel double standard. Ever think to ask if it bothers her that you're not a virgin?

[carlcarlson]

Me and my current girlfriend do have sex . Yea I know it does seem bad but it does bug me for some reason to the point I kinda get mad at her. I try to talk myself into the fact that it is dumb and silly and that has been working for the past months but I feel like its lingering .I have asked if it bother her it doesn't . thanks for all the help guys also i am 25 years of age

[zerohalo]

You have to very honestly ask yourself why you feel this way, even if it leads you to an ugly place. It's not rational at all, especially since you are having sex with her.

[EvaGina]

The feelings you have are natural, just not to the extent you are having them.

 

My bf doesnt want to know how many men I have slept with, which is fine... but even if he did find out and was threatened, I dont TREAT him like just another number... so he woudlnt be insecure for long.

 

does your girlfriend refer to her ex's a lot or anything?

[HarleyHunny]

What went on in my past relationships is no one's business but my own...Double standard, big time! You need to work on this one or she'll be your ex soon enough, then you won't have to worry about it at all.

[carlcarlson]

I'm actually my girlfriend 2nd guy she has slept with and she maybe has had 3 boyfriends she is 22 . I dont really feel threatened just more like bothered . I never had this talk with her. i maybe ask about her ex-boyfriends once she has nothing really good to say about him . She told me she slept with her last boyfriend just a few times that was 2 years ago. I know it seems dumb to break up over something like this and thats what I told myself 5 years ago to but here i am again . thanks for the help thou guys

[quietgrl]

ouch!I'm a virgin and i use to only want to date virgin men but not anymore. I realize it's me who holds the key to my sexuality not a man.

[carlcarlson]

Thanks yea i think i will talk to her going to pick her up in half hour so i'll tell her then.

[g1234567890h]

I'm twenty and I had sex with four girls before I found my current girlfriend. She's nineteen and she's had sex with about ten men and one girl. We really don't care about who we've been with before except for the fact that we both have no STDs.

 

You can't change the past. In fact, you shouldn't even worry about it. The present is far more important.