My Story... could use a hand.

[craigm]

So September 15th, 2005 i went to this dance. It was the first one at this new high school. I met this girl, i danced with her, it was amazing. We clicked. We decided to get eachothers emails and we began to hit it off. A week later, the 22nd, we began to "date".

 

It was the best 16 months of my life. We spent all of our free time together... we would cuddle on the couch and watch a movie, hang out, go on dates. The usual stuff. I loved her, and she loved me. I had never felt this way for anyone in my life. I was truly in love.

 

Her best friend at the time decided to hook up with my good friend, they hit it off as well. The 4 of us would hang out, party and just have a good time. Well, most of it was good times.

 

Fast forward to Summer 06. We had been dating nearly a year, and things are still going perfect. We have kind of distanced from our 2 friends, something I regret and I'm sure she does too. Her and her friend were together for years before she met me. So anyways, my GF meets this girl on MySpace from Ottawa, shes moving to Nova Scotia in a few months. They start to talk, become friends. The girl moves here and they begin to hang out. She starts to hang out with another girl as well, I believe she is our age with a 20 year old boyfriend. (We are 16).

 

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. The day of our 16 months. The last few weeks have been shaky... shes been spending alot of time with theese friends. Her marks are going down in school... our relationship is getting hurt. She breaks up with me that day. "We just don't work".

 

The next 2 weeks that lead up today have been hell for me. I cry, throw up, go on random walks outside. I attempted to study but couldnt. This girl was my life and now she is gone.

 

On the other side... she is happy. She starts to party with theese friends... including three or four 19 & 20 year old guys. They have cars, buy her booze, and she goes to their houses and gets drunk. Takes pictures and puts them online, and I was clumsy one day and came accross them. That hurt bad.

 

She is going with her new friends to Quebec for a week. From what I have heard, the guys are getting the girls fake ID's and they are going clubbing. They will all be staying at this guys cottage. Why is her mother allowing this, I dont know. Shes completely oblivious to what her daughter has been doing.

 

I was always good to her. Her true friends were always good to her. She did well in school, very well. We were in so much love... I can't explain what i feel for her. She throwing it ALL away and for what? Some hot older guys and some good times? I hate to brag but I was good to that girl... better than what these guys intentions are.

 

I try to maintain NC. Its so hard... I call her, text her. I was drinking on Saturday night and I geuss I said some stuff to her I shouldnt have.

 

I want my baby back so bad. Im sick of this... hurt. The pain I feel every day when I think of her, makes me want to throw up. I cant eat, sleep, think about anything but her, and how much fun she is having not giving a f***.

 

Any advice?

[dopexile]

Hey there buddy... let me focus you on one of your sentences... "This girl was my life and now she is gone." I think that pretty much sums it up... your life has been lacking in balance.

 

Think of your life like a house... if the foundation of your life is centered around one person then when that person leaves your life then the whole house comes falling down. But if you have a lot of hobbies and interests going on in your life when people leave your life, the house will take some damage, but it still has a foundation to stand on.

 

Take it easy, enjoy the freedom of being single(there are advantages to both sides of the coin), find some new hobbies, and get things back in order with friends you neglected.

[melrich]

It's a tough situation Craig and the hardest thing to deal with is there is not much you can do about it. It sounds as if she has entered another stage of her life and that happens, especially around that age.

 

Hang in there and use these forums to vent when you need to.

[HDD]

craigm,

i am glad you posted here! we have a lot of people with years and years of experience and very good advice. Trust me when I say, you will get over her! She is NOT your life! You are 16 and you have SOOOOO many years ahead of you to look forward to... so many good memories and so many other girls who will treat you far better than your ex. Think about it, do you really want to be with someone who drinks, party's and drives around with 4 twenty something year old guys! Is she worth the tears and pain you are going through?? I DONT THINK SO!! Show her you are THE MAN and a STRONG one for that matter. Show her that YOU are not affected by her extra-curicullar activities and concentrate on YOUR education. the best revenge is doing well in school which will eventually mean a successful sholarship to a great college and an amazing career!! That will drive her crazy! stay +ve, smile and happy (even though I know it will be hard to do). but remember, YOU will get through this!!

Good luck

[craigm]

Today I packed up all of "our" things and gave them to her in school. Included was:

A picutre of us kissing, in a frame she got engraved: "forever and always" for our 1 year.

All of our notes we passed, letters.

And a CD we listened to together, and we had gone to the concert and gotten it signed by the band. I want to be over this... but I love her so much. Thanks for the input guys.

[craigm]

I emailed her today. Its only been 2 days of NC. I said I missed her and told her we both know that we work, but not all couples work 100% of the time.

Ugh, im pathetic eh?

[Wandering_Sword]

You're a man in love, can't be faulted for telling her. Don't worry too much about it. It might take a couple tries to get NC going enough to heal you. Don't fret, you're not pathetic. No more self-admonishment from here on out. Just do your best.

[craigm]

why do people change? 1 year ago it was my birthday. i spent it with friends and her... it was so fun. Now, they all changed. They all met new friends, and Im the only one who wants it back. I look at the pictures of all of our good times... we were all so happy. But a year later, I sit at home alone.

I miss my baby so much... but its time to move on. Im trying so hard.

[craigm]

she diddnt even wish my a happy birthday. how can you not wish someone a happy birthday, especially your ex of 1.5 years... ugh.

[craigm]

NC is hard. I think about her so much and I get so sick.

 

Shes in Quebec now with her friends for the week... those 19 & 20 year old guys staying at a hostel together. I cant stop thinking about what shes doing right now...

 

I look at her MySpace and Facebook profiles constantly to keep a tab on her, I'm in so much pain.

[hol234]

Hi Craig! I am So Sorry for your pain. Only time will help u!! Everyone can tell u to try and move on+forget her but that will only happen when u r ready. U DO need to try+push it along though!!

 

This girl knows u love her+that u want to b with her so there is no point in keep contacting her, u need to stop as she wont have a chance to miss u cus she'll know that ur there for her. If she doesnt hear from u it'll make her think about u, what ur doing etc.

 

I KNOW its extremely hard but u can do it, stay strong+remember that if u contact her u will just b back to square one!! U have to remember she knows that u love her, if u to were truly ment to b together SHE WILL come back to you. She obviously wants/needs this time apart to grow+experience life. You r both VERY VERY young!!