'm really really really really hurt because I obsessed over a girl for so long.

[Aaron20b]

'm really really really really hurt because I obsessed over a girl for so long. Nothing will ever come out of that, and I need to get over it. Please tell me how.

 

To make a long story short, I liked this girl name Katie a few months back, I used to talk to her over the phone quite a bit and hung out with her a few times. When I confessed my feelings she said she didn't have those same feelings for me and I thought she said this because at the time she had a boyfriend, but she wasn't happy with the boyfriend

 

Eventually she broke up with him and her friend invited me to see a movie with them. Katie's friend said I should buy Katie flowers for her affection, I did so and bought Katie flowers. She took them and said thanks. However, thoughout the whole thing I felt pretty left out, they didn't seem to value me very much, Katie gave me a slight hug before they left.

 

The next day she send me an email saying I shouldn't have bought her those flowers and said there would NEVER BE A US.

 

After that I hardly spoke to her, I eventually deleted her off of my myspace because I needed to get her out of my mind, a few months later she added me back a commented on my new hairstyle.

 

After that though she wouldn't reply back to me hardly and I asked her why she wasn't acting like a friend, she wouldn't reply.

[GuitarHero]

forget her. delete anything that reminds you of her. sorry if its harsh, but she's just not interested, and you shouldn't waste any precious time trying to get her to like you. you will find someone who is into you if you just look, it's not all that hard.

[Aaron20b]

I did that before than she just added me back which doesn't make much sense because if she doesn't wanna talk to me why would she add me back to her friends list? and keep in mind this is myspace im talking about.

 

I send her a message asking her why she would add me if she is not acting like a friend.

 

She didn't reply to this and continued ignoring me. So yea. Im just confused.

[robowarrior]

Let it rest because at least can say to yourself ' i tried' and if she doesn't want ,then simply respect her choice of free will. And that's it.

[GuitarHero]

delete her from your friends list and deny any future requests to be added by her. she probably sees you as "some guy i know" and just wants her friends list to be bigger. if she doesn't want to talk to you and really be your friend, you dont need her at all.

[Markers]

I agree with others. Talk to lots of other girls, occupy yourself with stuff, delete her from your myspace, if she contacts you, ignore. Forget that she exists, in short and don't think about it. Slap yourself everytime you catch yourself doing it. It sucks but has to be done..

 

EDIT: well said guitarhero

[agent1607307371]

Maybe myspace is different in America, but here it's just a website. Maybe she added you because you sent her an add, that's what many people do.

Asking her why she wasn't behaving like a friend is quite passive aggressive, depending on how you said it.

 

But this girl never expressed any interest in you, never lead you on and in fact was quite upfront with the fact that she didn't have those feelings.

 

You have to just let it go, stop questioning why she did or didn't do something, not look so deep into things. Keep yourself occupied and try move onto other girls.

[Northalius]

Let it rest because at least can say to yourself ' i tried' and if she doesn't want ,then simply respect her choice of free will. And that's it.

 

Agreed.

 

You must picture yourself in her shoes.

 

If she really is interested, she'll contact you and say so; until then, forget about her, and look for another. Trust me, you'll be even more ticked off at wasting your time on someone who wasn't interested, when that time could've been put into finding someone that really likes you for you. You seem to just not be her type to be romantic with; you've just to accept that.

[JustinShakes]

Don't ever obsess over a girl. They ain't worth it and it makes you look like a loser. After showing initial interest for someone, if they don't respond get away. Don't call, don't write, etc. In the meantime increase the amount of contact you have with other girls. If the girl you liked intially sees this she may be aroused and contact you because she sees that other girls have taken an interest in you and she'll wonder why. Its how the game is played. Don't ever get played by a girl. Ever

[agent1607307371]

Its how the game is played. Don't ever get played by a girl. Ever

 

~rolls eyes~

 

Don't play girls either. You get back what you give out, and it just makes you look tacky.

[BetterKarma]

Evilken24, don't give it another thought. She probably added you on her myspace as another notch on her belt to display how many "friends" she has. I know lots of younger people who do that to show that they are popular. It's pretty silly.

 

I agree with everyone else, remove her from your life and try not to think about her again. If she contacts you, just ignore it and move on. Don't waste your time trying to figure her out, she's not worth it.

[Luke Skywalker]

Dude,

 

You think you've got problems obsessing over a girl for too long.

 

See my record of posts here on enotalone, I have a secret to tell you, if you do up a search on my threads here, over 60-70% of my posts revolves around a girl I was obsessed with between March through November, 2006.

 

If I were to list all the threads asking for advice about this particular girl and how many reads, replies, posts, just over one crazy girl it will blow your mind. In hindsight, I didn't even see why I was so obsessed. I'm happier now that she is out of my life, and I can pursue an identity without her in the equation. I saw myself in her, which was why I got obsessed with her, at least partially.

 

We meet three times. On November, I reached the lowest point when I put up a profile on adultfriendfinder to look for a girl to deflower me, because I went crazy when I found out that she lost her virginity with someone else, so I just snapped and put a profile up for about a month.

(It was said that if you have sex with another girl, then you'll forget about your crush, but I never went THAT far)

 

That's why they have 'Blues' songs, and 'Blues' music, for people like us who just seem to have no luck in romance and love.

[zerohalo]

Ooooh obsession! The guy with OCD can actually contribute to the topic! [EDITORS NOTE- That'd be me.]

 

Obsessing over a woman, or anything for that matter, is a tough one to get your head out of. Every little word, every hint is analzyed and reanalyzed. What did she mean when she called me 'Hon'? Why didn't she call me today? Blah blah blah. In your case its, 'Why did she add me to her friends list in myspace?' but it's all the same.

 

Don't sweat the small stuff when it's the big things that matter. She's not talking to you. She told you that you two would never be together. Focus on THAT.

 

If you want to obsess, obsess over your feelings on the situation, why you're responding the way you are. That's the path that leads you to get some control over obsession.

[Aaron20b]

I know its just that me and her used to be friends and now she is being so cold towards me and I have no idea why!! I mean, I bought her flowers and compliment so why the hell does she have to be so mean to me?

 

 

Seriously I don't understand why she doesn't like me at all, she went out with losers for crying out loud, I mean she dated guys that never took her out and there ugly but when a good looking comes along with a car and a decent Job, she passes it up!! I mean seriously, she hung out with guys that just played video games and were SLOW in high school and guess what, she is slow as well.

 

So what the hell does she have agaisnt me? I was never mean to her and I showed her affection yet she went and spit it in my face. Saying there would never be a us I mean if I were to try and explain someone I wasn't interested in them, I would never say something like "Im sorry but there will NEVER be a us and I don't give a flying * * * * if your mad or not" I mean seriously, ain't that a bit harsh??? I mean she is nice to all her other guy friends why can't she be nice to me??? exspcially since she came to me first!!

 

So yea, someone help me clear this...

[Soulseeker]

Hi,

 

Dude you sound like you are in serious emotional pain, and I feel for you, I my self am going through a similar state of "rejection" and I know what it feels like, I can't stop thinking about her, and what I did wrong, for more info you can check my post under:

 

How to come back from a date that went bad?

 

But to get to your issue, which is a bit different to mine (but end result is a broken heart).. I think there are two reasons for a gril to tell you "there would never be an us"

 

1. She is deliberately trying to get you to hate her, if this happens she knows you won't make any more advances on her (however innocent they may seem, she has you pinned down for some one who wants more than just being friends)

 

2. She is a nasty cow.

 

If its scenario 2, get over her already!

 

Scneario 1, you might still have a chance, its a million to 1 shot, so basically nothing don't expect any thing, it involves you pulling out of her space for a while, it might be 3 months, if she contacts you in during this time ignore her, but she probably won't.. then you can try contact her, tell her you were insane, tell her you are dating someone else etc (lie if you have to), if she asks about your date, be shy about it, don't tell her anything, tell her you think that telling her might jinx it for you etc..see if you can strike up a friendship, try make her laugh, always appear to be disinterested, if you ever see her face to face, avoid eye contact, look at other girls that walk by, "don't comment on them but look at them", generally try to be a bit of what us nice guys call an a-hole. You might notice her interest in you start to come back, if so keep playing it cool, make her come to you this time, she needs to be practically begging you before you give her flowers again, and don't think of doing so until you are well settled into first base on a regular occasion, I would wait for the home run personally.

 

Right earlier I said be funny, you might not be a funny chap by nature, but if you are intelligent then you can be funny.. "what you say?" yup, this is the trick, if you get into a situation when you talk to a girl, and you want to make her laugh, (you don't have to be the town fool to do so), intelligence can win over any obstacle i believe. What you need to do is try let her do most of the talking, pay real close attention to what she says, constantly in your mind you are thinking, based on a topic or thread she has just said "is there any thing funny I have seen/heard or personally did in regards to what she just mentioned).. if so, get in on the conversation ASAP, and mention your funny story, and thats how to make a girl laugh.. peace of cake if you have the IQ. Don't stop paying attention, don't stop constantly trying to think of something funny relating to what she says, even if it seems silly or stupid, just blurt it out!

 

Back to the specific girl,if you don't notice her showing an interest in you, forget it, forget her, its not going to happen as she says. So to sum up your chances are close to zero, but in scenario 1, you might just have a very very tiny miniscule shot.

 

later,

[Aaron20b]

You know I just can't believe she said " There would never be a us" I mean, that is flat out cold, I mean you should NEVER say that to someone that bought flowers for you regardless if you liked them or not and I only bought those to make her feel better as well but she is always mean to me and I have no idea why.

 

I mean, what the hell did I do that would make her act this way towards me??