Jerk at work

[martita]

During a training seminar at work I met a coworker from the same region of the world I am (which doesn't happen often). He seemed a nice enough guy. We talked about our spouses, our families, etc.

 

He works at another division, so after the seminar I didn't see him for 6 months. We coincided again about a month ago. I suggested we had a coffee after work to catch up. We did, and we had a pleasant chat. I talked about it with my husband, and we were thinking of inviting him and his wife over for dinner.

 

About a month after that he asks me again for coffee. I though it was nice of him. It all started like last time. We talked about his kids, my dog, my husband, work, and all of a sudden he starts telling me how pretty I am, how he can't stop thinking of me, that he wants to have an affair with me!

 

I was so shocked! How can someone go from talking about his kids, to proposing such a thing? I never hinted any interest at all. Trust me, I'm the least flurty woman you'll meet.

 

I, of course, said no. I was so shocked I sort of just kept making small chat after that. Now that I've had time to absorb what happened, I feel very angry. Who does he think he is? What kind of woman does he think I am? I've never been disrespected like this before.

 

I feel so angry all the time! I wish I had thrown my coffee on his face or slapped him. I just want to tell him what a pig he is. I want him to know that if he as much as says hi to me again, I'll file a sexual harassments complaint. Should I write an email to him? or should I just let go?

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i think this is more about who he is than who you are... maybe he is just like this and takes a shot at women, and some of them will bite and agree to it... not an indication of who YOU are, but an indication of who HE is...

 

since you agreed to meet him for coffee outside of work, please be careful about filing a harassment complaint... if he was pressuring you to do this on company time, or at work itself, then you could do something about it...

 

otherwise it is your word against his, you have no witnesses, and he can claim that you lead him on by accepting invitations for activities outside of work. this is a very gray area (seeing someone for coffee/dinner/drinks outside of work), and he could always claim that you were the one stalking him, and are filing against him because HE rejected YOU...

 

don't do anything since you do not see him in a normal business day... just walk away, and recognize that there are many wolves in sheep's clothing out there, and don't accept invitation to socialize ALONE with men outside work... even if you are married, some see it as a potential invitation for more than just coffee...

[HellFrost666]

He is probably one of those guys who thinks every woman who shows him the slightest bit of attention wants him. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. He is just looking for somone to massage his ego.

[Day_Walker]

I think you need to calm down. There is no reason to be upset. State that you are not interested and then just leave it at that. There is no reason to keep in contact with him.

[martita]

I just don't want to run into him and have him come up to me to say hi all friendly as if nothing had happened. I just want him to know that he should stay the hell away from me.

[yeawutever]

definitely don't say hi to him next time you meet him. Maybe he just likes the chase and saying those thing, either way, if he meant it or not, it's very innapropriate.