I dont know how to fix this one, i'm scared

[iceman85]

Hello everyone, I ask you not to judge me but I am in a sticky and scary situation.

 

A few nights ago, this girl who I have been I don't really know, I guess i'd say together but not officially with and her friend called me up and begged to come and see me. Of course I wanted to see the girl i'm kinda with, shes 17 and i'm 21 so we cant really see each other much so I was happy for the chance. They brought alcohol with them, I know i'm stupid. But I didnt buy it for them, I trusted them because I trusted the girl I've kinda been with. SO I didn't think it was a big deal.

 

Anyway the night seemed to be fine, we all drank and I tried to make sure both of them didn't do too much. They both got very emotional and her friend drank too much and kind of passed out. I drank a good amount but was not really drunk. Apparantley me and her friend were snuggling after I had snuggled with her. I think this really upset the girl I know. But she didnt really show it.

 

Everything seemed fine, we all went up to go to bed and I guess me and her friend again passed out snuggling. I woke up and she was downstairs in tears begging anyone to come and get her. I tried to talk to her but she wanted no part of it. She was upset with the drinking and said it wasnt like her to be like this. I couldnt talk to her, she wouldnt let me. I do care about her and I dont know why what happened happened. She even told me that we cant really be together even though we want to and I agreed. Yet I dont know what she means.

 

Anyway she and her friend ended up getting picked up by family. Then the next day my parents got a call about possible charges because I had bought them the alcohol and let them drive drunk. Neither of which was true.

 

I feel betrayed, I feel like someone i was close with and knew very well disrespected me and isnt responsible enough to own up to their own actions. Now she is leaving me messages saying how i'm a piece of .

 

I'm worried about possible legal issues but i'm also worried about losing someone who I thought was someone that was a wonderful person. I'm hurt that they could have just done what they did and that they can just be like this and not value me. My question for all of you should be what do i do?

[Dako]

If I were you, I'd talk to all involved, including parents, and if you're just being threatened with charges, express your regrets for the whole matter.

Otherwise, you'll need to hire a lawyer.

 

If they were picked up by family members, they know the drunk driving allegation is bogus.

 

I suspect you're the scapegoat for a girl going home obviously drunk, but you really screwed up.

[chai714]

I'm not sure you would be charged at all. They brought their own alcohol, consumed it willingly and planned on doing so and you happened to drink either some of what they brought or you own, you never specified.

 

My advice is to stay away from 17 year olds or wait till they're 18. If you continue seeing this girl you like, don't ever let alcohol get involved as you've seen what a mess it caused with her parents and possibly the police.

 

For now, hang low and away from them. And if you like a girl, don't go snuggling up with her friend!

[karvala]

Firstly, don't worry about the legal issues (although I can understand it will be scary for you). Letting them drive drunk is not a crime; you're not legally responsible for them, so if they drove anywhere drunk (you didn't say if they drove anywhere or not), it's their crime, not yours. To be charged with supplying alcohol to them, it would have to be proven that you bought the alcohol, and since you didn't, it can't be, so don't worry. The girls clearly lied to their families to save themselves, in a panic and having had relatively little time to think about it, and I doubt it will be long before the truth of the situation comes out.

 

Worried about losing someone who will do that to you? I'm tempted to say you can't get rid of her quick enough, but I know you won't feel like that at the moment, so I'll try and meet you halfway. She is the one in the wrong here (though do yourself a favour next time, and don't let them get that drunk, or get that drunk yourself ), and if she's really worth knowing, she will own up and sort the situation out, and come back to you without you needing to do anything. Otherwise, call it a narrow escape; when I started reading the post I was dreading what I was going to read next, so it really could have been a fair bit worse.

[iceman85]

Yes, thank you for your responses. I'm just worried that if they did go to the police my word would mean nothing since the police would probably believe them since i'm of age and their underaged.

 

I know who bought them the alcohol they even told me. They were picked up and didnt drive back. Once some other family came to pick them up I dont get how thats my fault if they drove back or not but obviouslly that didnt happen.

 

I'm saying this because I have no idea why the girl is so mad at me, probably because she blames me for getting her in trouble. She seemed indifferent to the snuggling of me and her friend but if that really bothered her I want to tell her i'm sorry, obviouslly i wasnt in my right mind and I wouldnt have done that. I just dont know how to apologize for that given all the circumstances going on at the moment.

 

If I do evade things here I do consider it a narrow escape. I know things could have gotten alot worse and alot more out of control. I'm still worried though and guess I will be for awhile.

 

The girl that has been involved with me even told her friend to kiss me, so I dont get why would she do that but still be upset? I dont get it. (BTW we didn't cause at that point I realized what was going on)

 

Today she tried calling me once, then sent me an expletive riddled text message saying to give back some eyeliner she forgot and to do it quickly because i'm a piece of * * * *.

 

How do I go about apologizing or should I just forget it? Is this ammenable at all?

[ghost69]

first of all, never get involved with girls. these aren't women. you are 21 now, i know it's hard to convert to above 18s. you need to go out and meet somewhat responsible women.

i almost got in trouble with a girl that i was dating for 4.5 years in high school. once i turned 18, i almost got in trouble with her for me being legal and her not. i got out of it though. lucky.

the blame game is hard here. in this situation, the girl got upset because she isn't mature. you fell asleep drinking, no foul. nothing happened. jealousy happens a lot when you are with a young girl. then jealousy gets worse when women are over 30, lol. just my experience. anyways, you shouldn't worry too much about the 'charges'. they can make reports all they want. they have no proof, the girls weren't caught driving impaired anyways. it seems that the family is upset with them being intoxicated and have you to easily blame for it. it's all heresay. no judge or jury would believe this. don't fret, just date older women.

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[pregnantkitty_1985]

You need to stay away from these young girls until they are legal at least, and don't ply them with alcohol. Now that the parents are involved, it looks like you have trouble.

 

I have said this before in another one of your threads, and your above post just proves my point as to why you should stay away from this young girl for now.

[pregnantkitty_1985]

Oh, my bad. You didn't supply them with the alcohol (sorry). Still, the fact that you're drinking with minors (and you are the adult) just shows how wrong it all is.

[ghost69]

now that i think about it, i've known people that got busted with minors. even though they didn't provide the alcohol, they took part in the interaction. since you are the adult in the situation, it is assumed your responsibility. if the minors were busted by themselves, much different story.

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