Was the cell-phone the breaking point? post surgery darkness??? any advice please.

[Zuport1]

I recently broke up with my G-F,, she is the love of my life ( I knew it since the first time I saw her eyes.), We broke up because, she lost her phone!! Yes that’s right,, of course it wasn’t exactly because the phone but, it was the breaking point.

The last month together, we only could see each other like 2 hours a week, because I had to work from 3.am to 8 am,, and in the afternoon I slept, she felt lonely, but can’t say nothing because I was working hard for money for my school, then one day, we had a little fight nothing serious, the next day she had laser surgery in her eyes, and I call her every day to her cell phone, she never answer, then I call her home, her mom said to me that she was fine, and that she was sleep at 2 Pm, because I (thought ) I knew her, I knew that she can’t sleep with sun, I assume that day that she didn’t want to talk to me, so next day I call her phone, no answer, I call her home, no answer, I call her phone again, the phone was off, I really thought she was really mad with me and I leave her a message telling her that I was not mad,, that I was really concern about her eyes, that I wanted to see her, and that if she is still mad then I will wait for her to call me when she feel better.

one week passed not one call, I felt very down, then a mail from her!!! , The mail said “ If I lost my phone it means I’ll not see you ever?”. Well she lost her phone the day of operation, she was under medicine and she used to sleep during the day, she told me that she spend three days inside her room, in darkens waiting for me, to call her, to visit her. That those three days where eternal that she had never felt like that, and that she don’t ever will let anyone to let her feel like that again.

She didn’t understand my point, I try to send letters and things like that, well it just make it worst.

 

I don’t know what to do I already ask her to forgive me, she said she forgive me but don’t want to see me right know, I don’t know what to do!.

 

It doesn't sound that bad,, well it feels like hell....

 

Somebody help please, I would appreciate any advising.

 

I really want her back... I never told her I love her, even when I felt it.

[karvala]

It's hard to comment specifically without knowing more about your circumstances, such as ages, how long you've been together, etc., but the first, albeit rather harsh comment I'll make, is that to be honest I didn't find your reason for seeing her for only 2 hours a week terribly convincing (I would take a lot of convincing that someone really only has 2 hours a week to spare for someone they love). And if I find it unconvincing, I imagine that she, sitting in the darkness for three days waiting for that visit, would have found it VERY unconvincing.

 

What to do? Tell her, once and truly, what you feel for her, that you realise you weren't giving her enough time (don't explain why; she doesn't want to hear that you think you had good reason for neglecting her, she wants to hear that you didn't and so it won't happen any more), and that you want an opportunity to show her how much better it can be, and what good experiences you can share together. Then leave her to make her choice, and if she chooses you, as I very much hope she will, have those good experiences.

[evening_light]

she is the love of my life

 

And yet because you were busy working, or whatever!!....couldn't even go for 1 hour....while she was recovering!!

 

Now your the victim??

 

I really want her back... I never told her I love her, even when I felt it

 

Don't you even dare tell her you "love her"...

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i think the point is that she felt if her phone was lost/not working, you should do more than just nothing... i.e., go to see her, knock on her door etc. rather than just letting it go by without contacting her... she may have felt she is just not a priorty for you, and that if she is sick, you should go to find/help her, regardless of the her not answering (that is, maybe she was not answering because she was REALLY sick... shouldn't you go check on her to find out about that?)

 

sometimes couples let things slide because they assume the other person loves them and will 'understand' if they don't get in touch... or are not secure enough to just go over to the person's house if they don't answer the phone...

 

so i suggest you do exactly that... go over to her house PERSONALLY and tell her you are sorry and will never do that again... if you don't hear from her and she is sick etc. especially, you will go seek her out no matter what the time of day because you care about her...

[Zuport1]

First of all, thank you all for your comments I really appreciate them.

 

1.- Karvala;- I'm 21 she's 20, I know her one year ago, since the first time it was magic, we both had a really hurting relationship in the past, and about the two hours a week,, well, two weeks of the last month I worked from 3 8:00am, then sleep from 9 til 12:00pm, then help my dad in his shop til 8 pm, then sleep and go to work again. (It was really hard) After those two weeks she became really busy, her grandfather went to the hospital I went to the hospital with her, but I could only see her for a couple or hours (had to work).I already told her once and truly that I want her very much, I told her everything she mean for me, also the why for my behavior, she still wanted to broke up, I used to called her, but she behave like she don't care, so I don't want to call her until I have something good to say.( My fear is to never know something good to say.)

 

 

2.: Evening_Night. Thanks for your hard comments, always is good to know your mistakes. I don't remember the why I didn't visit her!! I act really dumb, It was 100% my fault, I'm not the victim, I make her feel bad, and now I'm paying for the consequences and I understand and accept that, the thing is that together we (both) felt so great and know she is making all efforts to forget about me, that terrifies me! I don't want to lose her, for this mistake.

 

3.-BeStrongBeHappy. Those exact words she use. And you/her are right, I could do more, well I didn't. and about go and see her, well two weeks from know (one week after we broke up and, the last time we talk over phone) I told her that I missed her and that I want to see her, she told me that she was very busy, I told her that just 10 minutes, just for a hug. quoting her "I don't want to see you right know" and obviously she was mad. Well I don't want to call her, I don't want her to get mad...

 

I don't have an idea of what to do... I feel like was my fault, I never try or even think of cheating on her, I don't have eyes for any other girl, (Before and after the break up) ...I don't want to lose her for this small mistake (small compared to cheating or something like that.)

 

And yes you all, I never told her I love her, because for me, that word is very very powerful, I was wating for her to know how powerful is to me, then and only then she could understand how I feel about her.

[evening_light]

Zuport1, I'm impressed to the way you responded to the posts...

 

There is some light at the end of the tunnel....take some time to reflect and maybe with time and some self improvement, you guys can be together someday...

 

Good luck

 

E.L.

[Zuport1]

Thanks.. evening_Ligth,, I hope is like that, and actually that was what I was thinking focus a little bit more in me, for a while, and start over again from the start with her.

The problem is that I don't know how to break the ice!

 

Thanks have a nice day!