revitalized Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 ..I have deleted every picture and every email of my ex girlfriend but I still look at her myspace page..I try not to..but then every few days or so I end up doing it..and lately she has been on my mind a lot..I think about how much she hurt me, how much she stabbed me in my heart. and then I miss her? I am not sure if I miss her. I just feel like crying it is just weird..I want to forget about her and move forward but it is really hard. she was my first love and she disrespected me in the later stages of the relationship and was tempted to date other guys while I was with her. I dont know why I cant use this as a reason to move forward. It's like I am curious as to what she is doing or something. I want to move on but sometimes I tend to dwell on the past and how she destroyed me emotionally. I hope someone can please help me I am at a weak point right now... Link to comment
HealingHandsWarmHeart Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Love is hard to get over and it takes time.... you have good days and bad days. Dont be hard on yourself.. it takes time. However, i would definitely stop looking at your ex-gf myspace page...every time you are tempted ...remember how it makes you feel to look at those pictures of her... - you got rid of everything else for a reason...don't go backwards. try to start a project you enjoy doing... this way when you have these weak moments you work on your project and get your mind off of it. I hope that helps... Link to comment
Underdelusion Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Yes, remove the things that cause negative emotions. Live and grow from the lessons learned, and if you were faultless, than it is her loss, and you will find someone better. If you made some mistakes, address, reflect, and correct them and start anew. (IMHO) Link to comment
revitalized Posted January 29, 2007 Author Share Posted January 29, 2007 yea the only issue I would have is getting stubborn at times. Other than that I was ok. I have been improving on being a better student in school this year. While I was with her I would ask her for help but she would just call me a failure and a bum etc. She would also swear at me constantly because she felt she could say whatever she wanted to me because of how well I treated her. I was a fool and when I stood up for myself finally she acted like she was devastated like I broke some law. I know she wasn't good for me in the end but sometimes the special moments come back into my heart and it sucks. I just cancelled my third account on myspace. I hope I can just forget about her and move forward because I know she isn't worth thinking of. It's just another phase that I am going through again.. Link to comment
NR498E Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 There is nothing you can really do other than tough it out my friend. Take time and work on yourself,it will really make you feel better.Figure out who your true friend's are and spend time with them.You will feel better,I promise. And for god's sake stay off of myspace.You know better than that. Link to comment
revitalized Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 thanks for the help guys..yea I noticed I am just going through a short stress period right now..just fight back tears here and there. To make things worse I had a dream about her last night so that kind of sucked but I am just kinda keeping myself occupied and I am sure if I just work on myself like you guys said then I should be ok. I just tend to let my stress take advantage of me and I need to fix that. and I have to narrow it down to the fact that it's one girl I am stressing about and she wasnt even kind to me for the most part so I hope to heal from all of this. Thanks everyone and I will update you all when I can. Link to comment
Shannyn Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Hi revitalized, you sound just like me I only just broke up with my ex ten weeks ago and even though its nowhere near as bad as it was at the initial stages I still have "good" and "bad" days. I still think about him on a daily basis. I also struggle with visiting a website he goes to. I have actually spoken to a professional about this and she said perhaps I could just cut back on visiting the site-eg, cut it back to visiting every hour instead of every twenty minutes or so, something like that. I think what you and I are doing is looking for a quick fix,like some sort of comfort from our ex's. When someone is no longer in our life who was once very important to us it leaves an empty hole and a loss that only time can fill and taking care of yourself...filing your time with things that make you feel good. I find what helps me when I feel like crying I do,the more I work through the feelings the better I feel and the lesser the feelings become. Dont deny yourself what your feeling. You have the right to your own emotions. The more you grieve your loss the better you will feel. Thats what Ive found for myself. If you could have seen me a few weeks ago you wouldnt have recognized me I was an emotional basket case. You will get through this it just takes time. ...working through your feelings and taking care of yourself. Good luck. Things will get better for you Link to comment
revitalized Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 yea I felt the same way u did back then..going from crying to being totally angry about my ex and sad here and there..but I have realized that I should have ended the relationship earlier when there was no respect coming my way from her. The problem was that I really loved her and when we don't get the same treatment we give the other person then it really hurts us a big deal. I know that I was a good boyfriend and she will realize it herself that she was one big mess up and we just have to live our lives and focus on our own personal development. I have actually been spending more time on myself recently taking a course on how to become a better student. Recently I took the Myers Briggs test and It is a personality test and I scored INFP both times and then began to read descriptions about myself and mannnn I realized so many things in there that are familiar to me. It is a really good test to take to get to know yourself and if u ever want to discover yourself a bit I suggest you try it it's great. I agree that it is good to see someone regularly about these issues. I am actually at school right now on my laptop and I have a councellors appointment in an hour. it helps a lot to get these problems off your chest. Thanks a lot for the help everyone I really appreciate it and I will keep you all updated. Link to comment
SadOldMan Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 heheh. You should try my position. My ex, who dumped me, is now back in the house. To say it is weird is totally underestimating the effect it is having on me. A total mind f**k. I don't get it, I really don't. If anyone has any ideas as to why she'd want to be here, please feel free to offer advice etc. /me goes to a far away place, in his head ;-) Link to comment
revitalized Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 You shouldn't wait around and be quiet about it. Talk to her and ask her what her intentions are. Don't let her walk out on u and act like she can come back anytime she wants. Let her know that ur not gonna be waiting around for her to make decisions and if she is going to walk out on u then ur not gonna wait around for her. Take action bro! Link to comment
SadOldMan Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 She came back because she hated staying at her parents place. We're not back together or anything. House is in both our names. She demanded to be let back in or she was going to see a solicitor. I told her that she would have to pay half of all the bills, instead of the 25% she had been paying for the past 7 years. It's not good....it really isn't. Link to comment
revitalized Posted February 2, 2007 Author Share Posted February 2, 2007 errr, u should do something about it..Dont let yourself suffer. You should tell her that it's not going to work. You have to think about yourself in this situation and pull yourself out of trouble. You don't want to be miserable in a house with a person especially with an ex who you have to sit and tell to pay half of the bills to in order for her to actually go through with it. She doesn't seem very considerate (IMHO) so I think you gotta let her know how u feel about this strange scenario. Link to comment
SadOldMan Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I don't know what I can do. She doesn't seem to care how I feel about it. As she sees it, it's as much her pace as it is mine and she will stay here until it is sold. Link to comment
revitalized Posted February 15, 2007 Author Share Posted February 15, 2007 sigh..I don't know how to get rid of this feeling I have. I fall into depression really easily when thinking about my ex..I always get the feeling like "how could she have done this to me.." and a lot of this is because I don't go out much..I don't really know what to do outdoors..I want this feeling to go away but I feel like she will always have this strangle hold on my heart and I feel like I am gonna lose it.. Link to comment
revitalized Posted February 15, 2007 Author Share Posted February 15, 2007 I don't think I have ever cried this much in years..the tears keep coming down and I am just having trouble creating new memories in my life..I just can't think of anything to make it go away.. Link to comment
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