How do I support her diet without being a jerk?

[Js_Sol]

So my girlfriend has a horrible time sticking to diets. I know she wants to lose the weight, but she usually only last about a week before going back to bad habits. Anyway, I really do want to support her because lets face it, I do want her to look better. I love her and worry about her health as well. When she isn't dieting, she doesn't just eat more, but eats really unhealthy foods.

 

However, if I say a single word about how she's fallen off her diet, you know I'm in trouble. She's a very strong willed girl so it's hard to change her mind about anything. If she was comfortable with how she looks, I wouldn't bother her, but she wont even show herself to me anymore. What can I do to help her out? Any suggestions?

[renaissancewoman101]

You can be supportive of her by helping her keep to her diet, aka, dont eat junk food in front of her, exercise with her, give her positive feedback, etc.

 

A lot times when people diet, their SO sometimes feel threatened by it and dont know how to handle it.

[Mun]

Hey there,

Well, the last thing you want to do is lecture her when she get's off the diet or decides to "cheat" a little. Instead invite her out for long walks, after dinner, or even take up a sport together. This way you spend some fun time together and get a workout too.

 

Have fun!

[Parsley]

Crikey, yeah, you really would get it in the neck wouldn't you? Damn us females, lol

 

Would it be possible for you to say to her that you want to help her through it for her? Say that you love her and want her to be happy with herself and you see how unhappy she is when she doesn't manage it. Or don't mention about the diet...maybe just complement her when she does stick to it. Is it an option for you to follow the diet as well? So you can egg each other on as it were. Appeal to the basic human nature of being competitive. I can't think of much to help...I know I can be difficult when I want to be, and how annoying that has got to be.

 

Hope everything turns out ok

x

[Js_Sol]

Yah, I figured I'd get a reply like this. (thank you though, I certainly do appreciate it) Anyway, truth is I do eat really healthy. I cook my own meals usually containing vegetables,meat,bread and well, a balanced meal. Even when I offer to cook she goes and gets fast food because it's how she was raised. I NEVER eat anything unhealthy around her, in fact I am a strong advocate against fast foods and greasy foods. It's an area we disagree upon to say the least.

 

As far as exercising...I just invited her for a walk about 20 minutes ago, she declined and went to Sonic to get more food. I've tried the basics, i think I need a bit more advanced help!

[HarleyHunny]

..I just invited her for a walk about 20 minutes ago, she declined and went to Sonic to get more food.

Sounds like the problem is solved. She's off the diet, you're off the hook.

[annie24]

So my girlfriend has a horrible time sticking to diets. I know she wants to lose the weight, but she usually only last about a week before going back to bad habits. Anyway, I really do want to support her because lets face it, I do want her to look better. I love her and worry about her health as well. When she isn't dieting, she doesn't just eat more, but eats really unhealthy foods.

 

However, if I say a single word about how she's fallen off her diet, you know I'm in trouble. She's a very strong willed girl so it's hard to change her mind about anything. If she was comfortable with how she looks, I wouldn't bother her, but she wont even show herself to me anymore. What can I do to help her out? Any suggestions?

 

how about suggesting some positive things to do together? ie, join a gym together and go every monday, wednesday, friday night. no excuses! or, sign up for a "healthy cooking" class together. Schedule dates like walking in the park, going jogging together, going on a bike ride. take a picnic lunch filled with fruits and sandwhiches made with lean meats and mustard, no mayo or sausage. Compliment her when she's doing well, but don't give her a hard time if she grabs a cookie. you are her bf, not her personal trainer

 

good luck!

 

EDIT: ah, I see she "declined" the walk and went out for burgers. hm. that's tough. i don't know, just let her know you love her and support her, and that if she wants to lose the weight, you be her cheerleader, but you love her no matter what size she is. (us ladies like to hear stuff like that )

[Js_Sol]

Thanks for the advice everyone.

[beh700]

the first thing that helped me on my diet was learning about why i should diet, besides to look better. help her find reasons to stick to a diet or a lifestyle. one reason i became a vegetarian is because i found out that they are 50% less likely to develop heart disease (the number one killer in women). after a stressful week of work, pick her up a bar of dark chocolate (reduces high blood pressure, and tastes realllllllllllly good). you said that you cook? well in the morning make her a smoothie with soy milk (has specific isoflavones that reduce breast, ovarian + prostate cancer, heart disease and symptoms such as hot flashes with menopause) and blueberries (high fiber + low calories), or make her oatmeal (good fiber, protein and the essential fatty acid GLA, *don't use instant*) and eat it with her, so it's not like you are doing something just for her. it is just that you were craving a smoothie or oatmeal for breakfast. as time goes on just mention all that you've been learning about foods and how they effect your health. she'll be impressed of the drastic changes they can have on your future and current health, and she won't even know that there has been a change in her diet!. slow to see results, but in ten years you'll be glad you helped her make the minor changes she did. let me know if i can be any help!

[rocio]

Try to get her away from the idea of a diet. When most people think of a diet, they think of something extreme and temporary. Neither extreme nor temporary will help you to control your weight in the long run.

 

A boyfriend always needs to be sensitive when approaching this issue because your main job is not to get us in shape - it's to appreciate us as we are and to make us feel sexy. But you care about her and you want to encourage her to do positive things.

 

I would sit down and talk to her. Say that you don't like the idea of her going on diets. Instead, you would like to see her maintain her current lifestyle, but make small changes along the way. Stuff like switching to whole grains, drinking juice instead of pop, or having a small salad with each supper and a piece of fruit with breakfast. Help her set attainable goals. The fact that you are super-healthy while she's on the other end of the spectrum probably makes her feel the need to set extreme goals, which is why she only keeps them for a week.

 

Ask her which small changes she would be willing to make and keep for the rest of her life. Then work on those this month. Don't give her bad looks when she order MacD's. That can come later, when she's ready.