I'd rather be dead

[musicguy]

Work going is bad..I'm 2 steps away from getting fired.

Girls hurt me left and right because I AM a good guy.

none of the girls I like want to be in a committed relationship with me.

I have a lot of debt that I can't pay off.

I seem to have bad luck ALL THE TIME and nothing ever goes my way.

 

I'm currently slitting my wrist a little bit at a time. I'm sick of getting hurt all the time by girls and having crappy relationships where I'm not treated good and not loved

[renaissancewoman101]

Don't do that. You're still young. You have a lot going for yourself. You have a job. That is better than a lot of people. True, your job is not going well, but have you looked at changing jobs, maybe changing careers. That can help.

 

Debt is relative, just tackle it one thing at a time. Dont look at it as one big monster. Tackle it as one little thing at a time and it wont look so insurmountable.

 

And you will meet more girls, that will treat you better. What are you proud of with yourself. There must be something you like about yourself, something you are proud of. Expand on that.

 

Talk to us. We are here for you.

[AwdreeHpburn]

musicguy - you sound a bit of a pessimist to be honest.

 

I don't know how to tell someone to stop being pessimistic but what I do know is that things look bad now and they will again, but in between, there's BOUND to be moments of greatness. Love, fun, good food....

 

Life is a series of events. Not individual ones. And not ones that just happen. But connected ones - like roads - roads that are driven on, steered down, traveled.

 

YOU are sitting in the driver's seat. YOU can choose the road you drive. YOU can speed up, slow down, avoid the turns, curve around the bumps or blaze on thorugh.

 

Corny?

 

Sure, but it's no less true. You can direct your own life. If you choose to stay on a road that's gloom and doom, that's up to you, you're the capt'n, but it's a dark and lonely road. I'm just lettng you know cos I've driven that road before. I know where it ends. It's not pretty.

 

Trust me dude, take the next exit and get off this road. It is a deep spiral downward.

[Scout]

Gosh, musicguy. I don't think you're going to like what I have to say. But please understand I'm saying it because I feel really bad for you that you're struggling.

 

Hon, I think it's time you realize that a lot of what's going on in your life could be completely different if you were making different choices. For example, I went back over a lot of your threads, and you're often hurt because a girl has left you, said she can't commit, etc. And I'm noticing you're dating really, really young girls...19, 18, even younger.

 

Why do you choose to keep dating girls who are more likely to not be ready for a committed relationship because they're so young?

 

It seems to me you're almost trying to sabatoge your changes of finding a compatible partner who is on the same wavelength as you.

 

If I were you, I'd start doing things a little differently, and seek out women, not girls. I honestly think you'll find yourself in a more stable relationship that way.

[avman]

I agree with Scout. The younger girls are playing with your emotions because they simply aren't ready for the same kind of committment you are. You might want to consider changing your dating perspective and approaching a different group of women that have goals and values more in line with your own.

 

You are a good guy. You're just looking for love in the wrong place.

[musicguy]

even girls my age aren't wanting committed relationships. *sigh* my wrist is bleeding, I think I'll go drink and take some pills

[Scout]

musicguy, please stop that. I'm serious. Go clean your wrist off and get some antibacterial stuff on it, put a bandage on it, and then don't inflict harm on yourself again. You said yourself you're a good guy. Knowing that, stop self-abusing. Would you go up to another good person and cut his wrist??

 

I agree your life seems complicated right now, but if you work on things one step at a time, you can get through this. You have to believe in yourself a little bit more, instead of putting yourself down.

 

Now come on. You've got talents and you know you do. Just because some things aren't going right doesn't mean all is lost. It certainly isn't.

 

Make a list of a few things that are important to you that you'd like to accomplish.Then by each item, write down at least one thing you can do to start making that item happen.

 

I think you need to put a little structure in place so you can actively deal with the things that are bothering you. I hate to say it, but by cutting yourself instead, you're kind of escaping from what's bothering you, but there's no need to fear facing your problems. With effort, and a steady approach, you can start to overcome them.

 

Now whattaya say?

[Polypeptide]

hey

 

I just wanna say I feel the same way.

U r not the only one.

 

I figured out my personality sucks...

I have borderline personality disorder symptoms.

So basically when I'm in a relationship, I try my best to piss off that person.

But like right now...we broke up...and I'm going thru hell.

 

I wanna kill myself badly in oct...well...at least I have lived another 3 bonus months. I think of suicide every sec. But I havne't done anything yet.

 

Although I'm 99.9% hopeless, maybe there is that tiny 0.01% of hope.

Maybe life is gonna get better.

[musicguy]

I'm going to go take some pills and drink a Bud Light

[Scout]

musicguy...is anything we're saying to you registering, hon? I'm concerned.

[Polypeptide]

btw....

I went to book an appointment to see a psychologist today.

But she's not avaliable until tmr. The nurse took my history and stuff.

 

I am those high risk ppl who will just kill myself anytime.

The nurse made me sign a "No Harm" contract, which stated I shouldn't harm myself in these 24 hrs before I get to the psychologist tmr.

 

I told the nurse as long as I drink enuf. I should be able to make it till tmr.

So I'm drinking too. Cheers!

[musicguy]

**** girls are a waste of time and love is a waste of my emotions, relationships are a waste of my breath

[Bethany]

Work going is bad..I'm 2 steps away from getting fired.

Girls hurt me left and right because I AM a good guy.

none of the girls I like want to be in a committed relationship with me.

I have a lot of debt that I can't pay off.

I seem to have bad luck ALL THE TIME and nothing ever goes my way.

 

I'm currently slitting my wrist a little bit at a time. I'm sick of getting hurt all the time by girls and having crappy relationships where I'm not treated good and not loved

 

 

I think most of us have been through the same kind of thing but not usualy all at once which makes it hard for you. But rather than sitting feeling sorry for yourself, make small steps to get yourself out of this hole.

 

 

At work, don't let them find fault with you anymore. Prove them wrong about you.

 

Accept that these relationships werent meant to be, that some one else to love and care for is coming your way.

 

Start paying off small ammounts as and when you can to relieve the pressure of these debts (even more reason to change at work I would have thought).

 

Instead of sitting there slitting your wrists, get out of the house and be around people who DO care about you.

 

Don't let your negative thoughts get the better of you.

[Ash]

btw....

I went to book an appointment to see a psychologist today.

But she's not avaliable until tmr. The nurse took my history and stuff.

 

I am those high risk ppl who will just kill myself anytime.

The nurse made me sign a "No Harm" contract, which stated I shouldn't harm myself in these 24 hrs before I get to the psychologist tmr.

 

I told the nurse as long as I drink enuf. I should be able to make it till tmr.

So I'm drinking too. Cheers!

 

Some months ago you said you were seeing a doctor and were on anti-depressants. What happened?

[Ash]

**** girls are a waste of time and love is a waste of my emotions, relationships are a waste of my breath

 

You have to be totally comfortable with yourself before any women are going to be. Make a hard, honest decision as to whether you are READY and WILLING to be in a relationship. Then live that way.

 

Cutting, drinking and taking pills won't attract the type of person I suspect you're looking for. They won't help you keep a job, and they won't pay the bills.

 

Pick one thing, work on it. Leave relationships persuit for now would be my advice.

 

Hard hitting observation, if you want to be able to pay off some debts stay single and stay clean.