lmtl Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Hi, I would like to start dating. For me, the best place to start is online since I don't get out much otherwise - I just recently set up accounts on myspace & match. Men...How do you react when a woman sends the first email? Is it an instant turn-off? If she's fairly attractive, will you reply, or just delete the message. I'm ready to start moving on...but the thought of more rejection makes me very uneasy about starting the whole process. Please advise... THANKS!! Link to comment
Blue Skittles Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Heres what I learned from my experiences of online dating: 1) Be prepared, it gets really time consuming. Always checking messages, checking profiles for new contacts etc. and then the initial contact is over chatlines and you really do have to choose and select a couple people that you want to start talking to. 2) No expectations. The first date in person is REALLY awkward. So you are hitting it off online, everything is sounding like its going to be a go, you meet for that first date, and its awkward, you hvae nothing in common, then you never hear from him again. Meeting in person is COMPLETELY different than talking online. Make sure that your only expectation is to have fun or it could lead to a lot of letdowns 3) BE CAREFUL. I have a friend that has nearly gotten raped from guys she met from online. So make sure you meet in daylight, meet in a public place, don't let him into your car, make sure you have someone phone you during the date to make sure you are ok I had a lot of fun online dating but i put it aside and probably won't do it again for a long time, hopefully never. I did meet a guy and we are dating but I just find that I don't have the time to be checking my profile and chatting online every single day. I would only check once a week and then get bombarded with messages and winks and smiles and all taht kinda stuff when i did finally check. Link to comment
Luke Skywalker Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 I have this theory, that your inbox will be flooded with emails and your problem will be that being overwhelmed with too much choice you will not know who to select and that will be the problem, not what you are suggesting. Put up any pic of yourself with your best smile on, put up a profile that you are just looking for fun, and state something about your interest, you will be inundated with emails, etc.... Let me know if that theory is correct or false. Link to comment
HealingHandsWarmHeart Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 I have this theory, that your inbox will be flooded with emails and your problem will be that being overwhelmed with too much choice you will not know who to select and that will be the problem, not what you are suggesting. Put up any pic of yourself with your best smile on, put up a profile that you are just looking for fun, and state something about your interest, you will be inundated with emails, etc.... Let me know if that theory is correct or false. I agree. Luke. I have that very problem... so what i do is a hide my profile and i search and respond to men that i am interested in. It seems to work best for me that way. Link to comment
Aurian Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 I have this theory, that your inbox will be flooded with emails and your problem will be that being overwhelmed with too much choice you will not know who to select and that will be the problem, not what you are suggesting. Put up any pic of yourself with your best smile on, put up a profile that you are just looking for fun, and state something about your interest, you will be inundated with emails, etc.... Let me know if that theory is correct or false. False. I have had only 6 serious emails in three weeks, and a handful of others that I consider "spam." (I'm sorry, but an email that just says "hi", or "I like to cuddle!" does not an impressed woman make). Hardly an overflowing inbox. Link to comment
hosswhispra Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 False. I have had only 6 serious emails in three weeks, and a handful of others that I consider "spam." (I'm sorry, but an email that just says "hi", or "I like to cuddle!" does not an impressed woman make). Hardly an overflowing inbox. Yeah, that was my experience too. Oh yeah got lots of winks...but rarely an email that was so terrific that I'd have to write home about it. Link to comment
afonselaca Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 meh. You get to see the same men and their old, outdated profiles over and over again. Heck, meet one and chances are he's gained 20 lbs because he's been on match so darn long LOL I'm back to keeping my eyes open in the real world. boy, do I sound jaded or what? laughing at myself here ... Link to comment
addictedblue Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 the fact that you "don't get out much" is your fault. i don't think anything works better than actually meeting people physically. screw online dating and get out more. no offense or anything, i can see how much easier it is to meet someone online, and it has worked for thousands of people, but i just can't understand how it is better than meeting someone in person. Link to comment
butterflies Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 meh. You get to see the same men and their old, outdated profiles over and over again. Heck, meet one and chances are he's gained 20 lbs because he's been on match so darn long LOL I'm back to keeping my eyes open in the real world. boy, do I sound jaded or what? laughing at myself here ... Haha. This one is so true! Sometimes they put their old photos... to look young. Just be prepared if you meet them in person, sometimes you'll be disappointed from what you have seen on their profile and in real person. There is also a chance, they'll put fake(not their) photos to make other people think they are hot, goodlooking or whatever, all in all, just to get attention. Link to comment
applepie Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 the fact that you "don't get out much" is your fault. i don't think anything works better than actually meeting people physically. screw online dating and get out more. no offense or anything, i can see how much easier it is to meet someone online, and it has worked for thousands of people, but i just can't understand how it is better than meeting someone in person. I don't think anyone was saying that it's better than meeting someone physically. It's just another avenue for meeting people. It works for some and doesn't work for others, just like in the real world. It's a great way for people who aren't necessarily interested in singles bar nights to meet people. Some have busy work schedules and don't have time for extracurricular activities. There is definitely still a stigma attached to it but I figure, if you happen to meet your soulmate online, then that's great. You are doing better than most other people. Link to comment
Aurian Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Some of us feel really uncomfortable in bars and crowds and would prefer meet where you don't have to shout Link to comment
lmtl Posted January 16, 2007 Author Share Posted January 16, 2007 But what happens when you make the first move & email a guy...is that like an instant turn off? Link to comment
afonselaca Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 No, I don't think it is a turn-off. I personally hid my profile and then unhid it when I found someone I wanted to approach. I just don't like hanging my face out there and being looked at. I emailed who I was interested in. Worked just fine for me. I've approached two guys and it didn't work out but learned a lot about myself. Plus I likely wouldn't have met them in real life because I wouldn't have thought twice or approached them had I seen them at the grocery store. Don't know where I'm going with this... maybe need some coffee... but the short answer is no, it isn't a turn-off. Link to comment
lizziebee Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 lmtl-some sites have a filter on it so that it will filter out ones that don't meet your profile or there is also sometimes a "cupid setting" to tell you that whatever little quizzie you took is a similar match to someone elses....that said, when I took the plunge I did not post a photo and would not allow any messages from undressed men.(This was not Harmony or Match). Do not post suggestively, just be youself when you do the whole 'who am I' bit. Anyway, I met some very nice guys-on the site only and one guy that stalked me to find out why I did not want to go out with him! Finally I had to hit him between the eyes. It worked but I felt bad for him. The one that I have been posting about have been togetherr since the summer. First we swapped emails, the phone chats and when that went well and we got familiar with each others conversation pulse, we met somewhere between here and where he lives. An the rest is hist...ahhh we will see.... Link to comment
lizziebee Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 But what happens when you make the first move & email a guy...is that like an instant turn off? Don't forget, everyone is there for the same reasons...to meet someone special, or their soulmate or maybe just a friend...go with your intuition. Link to comment
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