SoMuchLove Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 Hi I think this is interesting. I met a girl who says she's married, but still dates. She says she falls in love quickly so she wants to keep herself safe by keeping that status just so she won't marry every guy that asks her[i see she's not kidding about falling quickly]. She and her husband may as well not be married because he lives in an entire different state and they never contact each other. He doesn't even come to see the child they had together. Also, he cheated on her not even 5 months after they got married. I am curious as to what others think of this scenario and how you feel about it. It's confusing because she seems to hold marriage at a high standard and a low standard at the same time. It also seems she just wants to be 100% sure about the next guy she marries, but you can never be that sure. Once you get married, that doesn't say you will be together forever, but try to... Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 ?????????? I'm sorry!?!? Why exactly are you still talking to her? Um, doesn't this situation seem MORE than a little messed up? Do you want to be the next chump she is married to? Link to comment
SoMuchLove Posted January 15, 2007 Author Share Posted January 15, 2007 lol No! I'm not attempting to date her. I'm just curious about the scenario. what are you thoughts on this? Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 I think she has some SERIOUS problems. yikes. I feel bad for her kid! Link to comment
SoMuchLove Posted January 15, 2007 Author Share Posted January 15, 2007 So you agree that she should just get a divorce and just take risk rather than "toying" with the Marriage status? Because life is life and everything should just be taken as another experince right? Even if you marry 17 times[not saying she has, just throwing a number out there] Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 i mean, she is certainly not *acting* married anymore, so I really don't see the purpose of being married, you know? if he lives in another state, never sees her, and she is dating others, they are effectively, not married. But I think that keeping that piece of paper is holding her back from REALLY moving on with her life. She still has an attachment to him, or to the marriage. I don't think it is healthy, and I don't see how you can give any guy a fair chance if you are still married. And it's certainly not fair to the guys. Link to comment
SoMuchLove Posted January 15, 2007 Author Share Posted January 15, 2007 That is the thought I've bee tryng to get at! I glad were able to say it. I thought to myself that it wouldn't be fair to any other guy they wanted to marry her because that's directly saying your not sure about them even if the guy loves her with all of his heart, accepts her for who she is and really wants to marry her. Needing to be somehow reassured or "safe" is not good. Link to comment
Reluctant Rebuilder Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 Come on, she's using a technicality to keep herself from getting married to every guy she falls in love with!?!? Sounds dubious to me. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 Come on, she's using a technicality to keep herself from getting married to every guy she falls in love with!?!? Sounds dubious to me. Yes! that is the word I was looking for! "technicality!" Link to comment
emma34 Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 Sounds like this woman has no self-control....she must be absoloutely gorgeous cause i don't know any guy that would date a married woman with that kind of attitude. Link to comment
SoMuchLove Posted January 15, 2007 Author Share Posted January 15, 2007 Yeah. She is gorgeous. Very gorgeous actually. I'm now pondering as to whether or not the guys even know she's married when she gets into a relationship with them. That is "Need To Know Information", so I'd think they would know. Link to comment
assumeLove Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 People who fall in love quickly and frequently often do so because they are seriously afraid of commitment. Sounds like she found a man who was equally afraid of commitment and is using him to allow herself to keep falling in love with new men and leaving them to fall in love again without taking responsibility for her behavior. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 I think it is abusing the whole purpose of marriage - she wants to have that smug married status while living a lie. I am sure she got lots of presents and a lovely expensive party for getting married and I am equally sure those who travelled to be there and spent hundreds on china (just speculating) might be a bit annoyed that she views marriage as a safety net for her dates that don't go well. Link to comment
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