Need Some Advice..

[Kay23]

I know this is pretty long, and I know it might not make sense at some parts i'm not very good with putting my thoughts into words, but please try and understand. I would really appreciate it if you took the time to read it and gave me some advice on my situation.

 

Me and My boyfriend (Lets call him Mark) met around 3 years ago when he was staying in the UK with his mother and was out with some of his friends and my friends who knew each other. It was kind of a party and I was a little drunk, I randomly called him Beautiful .. He was a little weirded out but he ended up looking after me for the rest of the night. We got round to talking and we seemed to have EVERYTHING in common, so we decided to keep in touch.

 

I was having my own "boyfriend" troubles at the time because he was treating me like * * * * but Mark always stood by me and he was usually the only person who knew the right things to say and who could cheer me up. Hes a kind of serious-yet-caring guy, I guess after my relationship finally ended with my ex I was starting to like him more and more each day, but I had no idea he liked me too because he was so serious. After a while he confessed that he had fallen in love with me. I was kinda of surprised because he's never had a girlfriend (Something happened with him and he doesnt show his emotions much) but I told him I love him too, because I really did.

 

But like the next day after that had to move back to America. We were totally hearbroken and didn't know what to do with our relationship, especially since we just had one day left with each other, but we've stuck together because we felt it was worth it - even then after just 5 months or so I loved him so much more than anyone I had ever been with before. But hes back in America now. Two years and more have passed since then and I'm really worried that we're not going to make it. We're probably alot younger than most of you here, like most people are in their 30's and stuff and can afford planes there and everything but theres not much we can do. His mother moved back to America too and now it seems almost impossible to find any way to see each other. I couldn't ask my family for help because we just do not get along at all and his dad (Who he lives with right now) is a complete * * * * * * *.

 

A while ago he thought about breaking up (He told me about it) because he just wanted to stop hurting, but even the thought of that made us feel worse so we didn't. We just cannot live without each other, and it kills me everyday to know that I just can't feel him holding me anymore but especially the fact that just because we love each other its causing all these problems (Like being depressed and missing each other and basically just hurt) I'm just getting the feeling that we're starting to give up, and I dont want that for us, because I feel that what we have is worth it.

 

I love him more than anything and I seriously mean it, there is no one else I want to be with and we both feel the same, I'm just totally worried that we're not going to make it another year or so before we can meet again and we wont be able to wait that long.. Im also getting this feeling that Im taking something away from him.. Like im preventing him from being as happy as he could be with other people.. But i think im just being completely stupid about that.

 

Well .. Sorry for rambling on so much. And thankyou if you actually read all that! any advice at all on what we should do or what we could do meet up or something would be great.

 

Thanks

[robowarrior]

Age is important. If your below 18 , then it would be irrisponsible , if you are above and you have seriously weighed off the risk to see if its worth it to give it all up and be with eachother for the rest of your lives. I would only do this in a scenario where both of you are dead serious about wanting to be with eachother. Its something you are unable to pursuade if you don't have the means. But what you cannot do is let the situation linger, either be together forever, or break it off for sanity's sake.

[arwen]

Hey Kay,

 

I think it's vital that you and him have some plan to meet each other, otherwise the part that consists of missing each other will start to overshadow the pleasure of liking each other so much. What robowarrior addresses is true, it depends on both of your ages if you can take steps without the consent of parents etc (sorry, your age doesn't show in your profile).

 

In addition, this seems to be going on a LONG time now. No one stays in a LDR if they are not totally in to the person. So the commitment needs to be extra strong, and mutual. Otherwise, it may be better to continue as friends and keep in touch until both of you are more independent in life and have a better picture of the future (uni, jobs, etc).

 

Arwen