SuperDave71 Posted June 14, 2007 Author Share Posted June 14, 2007 Welcome to the First day of the rest of your life!!! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Knightm29 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 Cheers Andy, I will get there, determined to. Steadily pushing her out of my head. Another weekend coming up so time to relax and get out and mingle with the other fish take care Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 Yeah i'm good thanks. Just done my challenge now it's your turn!! LOL Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 Cheers Andy, I will get there, determined to. Steadily pushing her out of my head. Another weekend coming up so time to relax and get out and mingle with the other fish take care It's good to mingle mate and the fish are a plenty. So get swimming mate!... Link to comment
hfsf Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 Well done Andy on reaching day 30!! This NC works. Still on that rollercoaster but going to the gym, running and hanging out with friends. Decided that I must choose a happy life. And if that means being on y own, which I really don't want, then its going to have to be that way. Working on me! Going to be the most fantastic me I can. Well, thats in my good moments but I know the good moments will join up. Just want it to be soon lol! Link to comment
Pending Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Roughly day 13. After two months my exs send me a message. More came today.. Kind of hard to ignore them, just thinking that i'm missing chances with her. But they have all been concerning a safe small talk-where i;m working & such, and knowing that shes taking such a safe route as a excuse to get ahold of me shows me these little attempts by my ex represent nothing. Still kinda hard to keep this up. Link to comment
Knightm29 Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Day 22 Feel better today, was singing in the car on the way to work (bad singing) and feeling more upbeat. Not sure if its because its Friday, but I dont mind even if it is. Need a few coffees to wake me up though, unsure why I still feel so tired when i have been sleeping fine and not been drinking or anything. Maybe just the stress of the past few months is catching up on me now I am relaxing more. Just a theory. Anyway, hope everyone has a great weekend Link to comment
benga Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 day 43!!! NC is brilliant... I feel so much better. "HEALED". My way of thinking has changed. My shell is softening.. I feel and think differently... Link to comment
MsBear Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Day 5 Got my exam results, well like before I did well without being with you B-) Im telling you now, Im not perfect but I do try hard and do my best everything, tried to save a relationship but I guessed I was too wrong Im done with the hoping Gotta sort out documents for tomorrow, my hell starts Link to comment
1guygirl Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 dunzo... when i said about the love is patient thing etc...i was referring to your ex not rushing or pressurizing YOU into HIS timeframe...and then when you were being cautious he jumped into someones elses arms who WOULD give him that instant intensity...yeah! now do you get me.... thats what i meant bout your gut not feeling right...and it WAS right - if he loved you as much as he said - he would have waited til you were sure - but he wanted it there and then...thats NOT love thats selfish bet you havent read them links i gave you either... now i am gunna send you some tuff luv OK link removed link removed - spesh the 15 early warning signs ok just read....make an informed desicion wether your bf sounds like what this site describes, or indeed not...but if it is then i think you need to understand that this isnt about you its about your ex and his personality..then you can start to give yourself a break,, and heal and move on. it helps it really does. trust me on this one!! time to wake up and smell the coffee gurl!!! and as for handy andy....(whoops) nice 1 mate... well done you and hope youre enjoying your teachers pet day hehehehe Link to comment
1guygirl Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 see in love you dont give to receive....you dont give flowers and chocolates to get something in return...if thats the case cut out the fluffy bunny stuff and call it 20 bucks... you say you were both abusive in some ways...well least youre being honest with yourself and gunna work on that ...is he?? no hes got his quick fix at mo and doesnt see a reason to look at his part he played...well he did put it ALL on you judging by that email with its derogatory (sp) compliments just move on, you are prepared to grow - he isnt, and you should feel sorry for him in some way for that...he didnt take his chance to look within like you are now. im glad you can see the wood for the trees...thats all i wanted take care x Link to comment
Aldo25 Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Day 22! Today is especially hard, because it's her birhtday and I originally was going to send her a birthday greeting. But my desire to get to a month of NC (and many more after that) has led me to drop my plans to wish her a birthday greeting and continue on with NC Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Thanks 1guygirl.. It's nice to be teachers pet sometimes! lol Hi Dunzo and Aldo.. NC, NC and NC its the only way folks anything else unless you hear "I want you back or similar" is just delaying your healing. Andy Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Myspace is a waste of time hun.. Sorry just my opinion. I did set one up years back myself must admit but just out of interest on what all the fuss was about. So ignore all this myspace stuff.. Well I would.. Link to comment
1guygirl Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 no dont open it for now....if it hasnt got a subject title it could be anything. if its important and he sees youve not read it he will say what it is about. take it as hes playing games - knowing you loved that lil rat and youre 'vunerable' at mo (my ex got me saying he got rid of my pet guinea pig and cat on his msn message- see the parallels hehe) also once (well 5 in all) i got email from ex with no subject and when i opened it twas a nice suicide email blah blah think i preferred that than the satanic chants and threats LOL!!! if you REALLY must open it...leave it a few days when youre stronger...or can you not forward it to someone to open for you, then they tell you wether you need to see it or not??? oh and btw ....day 17 hehehe hows everyone else doing?? Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Dunzo.. Think of it this way.. if they really wanted you would they just send a message on myspace and wait for you to see it and respond!? I doubt it! They would call, or come round to see you surely. This is just a way of seeing how you are, are you still thinking of them, are you still pining over them, are you still willing to jump when they say how high and so on.. What does it get you apart from more emotion and confusion! Andy Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 yeah..i know myspace is lame...But I have so many contacts and connections through it now...I shouldnt let my x being on it make me stop being on it....But I will not even read his comment or immage request I guess...? I dont know..Its a hard call..I dont want to show him I am bitter.....If I just approved the comment, what bad would it do? Well continue to use it of course for your other contacts but when it comes to your ex just ignore it or like 1guygirl said leave it a while at least then take a look and decide then whether to reply. Just to warn you though doing that is just continuing your agony.. Read some of my old threads you will see I analysed everything and some and it got me nowhere about from more confusion and misery and a longer healing process but your call.... Andy Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Dunzo.. It doesnt really matter anymore who he was with does it.. It's out of your control what he is upto and who he is with. Dont even think about all that as you will eat yourself inside out if you do.. This time right now is about YOU.. not him. Forget him, it's GAME OVER for now hun.. That's the hard but realistic truth you have to take in to enable you to heal yourself. So stop analysing and start living. Easier said than done I know but it will start to happen but only if you allow it to happen and dont stay in the past and keep reopening that wound all the time. Hope this helps.. Andy Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 With the Myspace thing, If it were me I would contact the ones you want to be in contact with and tell them you wont be logging on for a while and the ones you want to stay in contact with give them your email if not already. I really think this wont help your healing if you look on there and he drops you a message on there from time to time. In a month or 2 you will probably be alot better and wont be too bothered but for now it is obviously bothering you. So maybe consider that too.. Otherwise it's nc all the way.. if he really wants you he will find a way to let you know..!! If not well its onwards and upwards and moving forward with NC as your tool to do that... Link to comment
iamconfused5302 Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Im in the NC since yesterday. Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Yeah leave him as a friend no harm in that.. Just try where possible to avoid using it so much but most important thing just ignore his contact via my space well ignore it for now anyhow until you are healed a bit more.. We are all here for you to get you through this and most of us have been there and bought the t-shirt believe me! LOL You will be fine dunzo.. trust me it will get better.. Link to comment
Brownsville Girl Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Day 4 No Contact- Do I still want him back? Sadly yes - I have a new renewed will of N.C. today for some reason while I was feeling a bit dodgy about it for the first 3 days. Do I still want him to contact me? Sadly yes, but checked the phone and e-mail much less today then previous days. Actually, surprisingly I'm having a pretty good day. It's beautiful here; its Friday went out with teammates last night and had a good time. I started to open up and tell people today, my mom my best friend. I felt I needed to get control of myself before talking about it with people. It was hard but I think it helped me feel good today. I suspect tonight will be tough when he's at "my" concert with "her" but I'm starting reach the point of "So what!" However, realistically I know that this is probably just an 'up day' of what's going to be a rollercoaster for a while. But still, I'm glad to have a little relief, even it it's just for today. Link to comment
Brownsville Girl Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Dunzo - Aldo, Good work staying with your reslove. Today sounds like tough challenges for you both - best wishes. Andy and 1guygirl - it's nice to have people who are futher along encouraging us in the more dimunitive stages of NC. It really does give hope that it will get better. Have a good weekend everyone and remember to stay strong. Link to comment
Aldo25 Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 Dunzo - Aldo, Good work staying with your reslove. Today sounds like tough challenges for you both - best wishes. Thanks, you too I went out for a while, hung out at my store (I was there to get my work schedule, but I hung around to talk to friends), went and did a few errands, than I went to Best Buy and treated myself to a few movies. It feels so good to be able to spend my money again Link to comment
miew Posted June 15, 2007 Share Posted June 15, 2007 I am in the second week of NC, went to a Tango class on wednesday, it was fun. Picked up my guitar (haven't played it for 10 years) and sang the "Way back into love" again and again last night (I love this song -> from the movie "music and lyrics") Keep going NC everyone! Just attach some lyrics here: ----------------------- I've been living with a shadow overhead I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed I've been lonely for so long Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away Just in case I ever need them again someday I've been setting aside time To clear a little space in the corners of my mind All I wanna do is find a way back into love I can't make it through without a way back into love ... Link to comment
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