Rosie007 Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Day 30 - Wow, looking back i really worked hard. I wasn't in a good place, starking, calling 10x a day, that wasn't healthy at all. But i knuckled hard with the help of friends and here i am on day 30. Do not take breaking nc for granted, it can really set you back. This is my second day 30 and i had to go through hell to get here. Thanks for everyone posting your post really kept me moving forward. WOO HOO!! Congratulations, Tshwane!! Link to comment
solarplexus Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 COMPLETED 30 DAY CHALLENGE Actually has been 33 days and I will stop counting from now on. We have decided to stay friends but later I realized that this will not do me any good, actually hurting, then I decided to go NC. I expected her to contact me, as a friend, during this past month and I would tell her that my feelings for her were far more than as a friend. So; I would ask her not to contact me anymore unless she considers reconsciliation. WHAT A FOOL I HAVE BEEN ](*,) She never called me (ha, haa), though it hurt a bit. So I am stopping to expect that phone call also. I am feeling better and better, and moving on my way. How bad to say that I still think about her too much after 6 months of breakup, though it does not hurt much anymore. Seems that there still is an unfinished business... Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Ah, yes - unfinished business was my reason for breaking NC a couple of weeks ago. There's still unfinished business, but I'm in full, permanent NC now. I'm hoping that in six months, the unfinished business will simply no longer matter to me. Congratulations to you solar, and to tshwane for staying strong and completing the challenge!! Link to comment
Pending Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Oh thats great(I mean the no telling her about NC). That was my mindset as well, but I read a few posts here & there that just seemed to suggest telling them about NC was the way to go. Over a week of NC, and a few weeks of LC. Just knowing that shes being cold, harsh, and fake whenever she contacts me is a big factor, alomng with the physical distence we now have, are the big factors helping me maintain NC. Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Pending, if you read the thread about how to do NC properly, you'll see it's the only way. You have to just drop off the face of the earth as far as the ex is concerned - and as far as you're concerned, she doesn't exist. Link to comment
sandyv Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 SD, I'm in drastic need of your help once again....... where to begin.... ok my ex Jack phoned about 2 weeks ago now and we did sorta get together, spent days together actually, I don't wanna push things so did not iniate any serious discussions. He was kinda stoned one night tho and said he didn't wanna a relationship, and days after that he was bringing me little gifts.... etc...., we went out dancing, it was great and it seems we both were really happy about things..... I don't understand what he is thinking, although he has been through alot over losing custody of his kids, which we did talk about..... he's still hurting alot of course. Do you have any idea of how I should deal with this? All the attraction and that other stuff is even stronger than before, I'm sooo confused...... HELP!! Link to comment
laspeedia Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 funny, before I read past the first couple of lines I thought you meant no contact with the on-line forums, but then where would we all be right now if not on-line? Link to comment
MissIndigo Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 31 days and I feel fatigued...ugh... I have a plush Mumble from Happy Feet on my desk to cheer me up...I'm 30 and a PhD...sheesh. Link to comment
Pending Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 thelonelydoll, That was my general impression, but I kept reading posts about mutually agreeing to NC, and it never made sense. I'll be honest, I have my good days when I focus on myself, focus on the great guy she lost...but then theres days like today when I just feel like * * * *. Link to comment
papalazarou Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 thelonelydoll, I'll be honest, I have my good days when I focus on myself, focus on the great guy she lost...but then theres days like today when I just feel like * * * *. Yep same here. But those days of feeling like cr@p do become more infrequent as time goes on... Link to comment
the teach Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 hi i would like to try this challenge thanks Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 teach - good for you. Just be sure you do it right - absolutely no contact at all, no looking at myspace and the like. Like many people here, I didn't do NC correctly from the beginning, and it was a big mistake. You've got to be fully prepared to "drop off the face of the earth" as far as the ex is concerned. It's the only way. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted April 25, 2007 Author Share Posted April 25, 2007 Welcome Teach!!! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
the teach Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 thank you. how shall i cope with work during the N.C? Link to comment
thelonelydoll Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Do you work together, and that's why you're asking? Link to comment
the teach Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 we work together, she owes me money and we have friends in common, i know that the N.C is the way forward but i always give in Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Day 21 I was an f'ing mess yesterday. I'm sorry for snapping, and causing a scene of sorts. I didn't mean to do this, but I was on MY myspace page and saw that she removed hersleft from my friends, and also dumped my family and mutual friends from her. I freaked out, got sad, and cried and cried for about an hour. I eventually got my head on straight, and saw she DELETED HER PROFILE. So I got upset for nothing. She probably deleted it because she could not stop herself from looking at my profile, or her new boy was getting jealous from other guys looking at it. Either way, it stopped hurting. Yesterday was a bad day, but I got some emotion out. I feel drained today, but I have been getting a lot of positive attention from the ladies the last 12 hours, and it made me feel better. And here is kinda good news for the day, I GOT WORK. It's freelance, and only for a few weeks, but it gets my foot in the door with a big company to show them what I can do. BAD NEWS- It is RIGHT next door to my ex's building, and I will have to walk by at the same time she is going into work. I'm going to try to make it so I don't see her, but I'm sure I would be CRUSHED if I saw her and him walking to work together. Today I feel: Confident, Upbeat, Drained, and Better Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 CONGRATS TO SOLARPLEXUS AND TSHWANE!!!! You guys did a much better job than me. Congrats and stay strong. Things will get better everyday!!! Link to comment
the teach Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 that is such a fantastic response! Link to comment
the teach Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 this is the fantastic response i mentioned, has made feel differently on day 1 As for me....no more messages since this morning. I had work all day, so no time to even think about it. I will say that NOT replying is SUCH a foreign feeling to me simply because it's not in my nature to do this...but I know it's in my BEST interest to do so, which is the ONLY reason it makes it any easier. I won't lie and say I haven't even considered responding....but then what? I'm back to square one. I figure NC will make someone step up to the plate and do what NEEDS to be done...OR they will scurry away because it's to much effort. Who needs the latter?? I AM worth the effort....we all are. So that keeps me strong. Thanks for everyones supprt Link to comment
Brooke657 Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 I couldn't do the nc thing. It just felt like I was doing the exact opposite of what I needed to do which was get over it because doing nc I thought about him more. Once I stopped nc I was basically fine. Sure it was still hard to see him because he did some really messed up stuff but were becoming friends and I'm really happy that we are. I'm really glad nc is working for you macgyver (which by the way is an awesome name) and I hope that it continues working for you but I hope that you don't rule out being friends with her someday... Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 I couldn't do the nc thing. It just felt like I was doing the exact opposite of what I needed to do which was get over it because doing nc I thought about him more. Once I stopped nc I was basically fine. Sure it was still hard to see him because he did some really messed up stuff but were becoming friends and I'm really happy that we are. I'm really glad nc is working for you macgyver (which by the way is an awesome name) and I hope that it continues working for you but I hope that you don't rule out being friends with her someday... If you read what she has done to me you probably would not want me to be friends with her. LOL. She has changed a lot from the girl I loved for 3.5 years. NC is working ok for me. Contact has hurt more than NC, and I am doing NC for her as well. It's the only way we can move on with our lives. She never expected me to stop calling, and I am sure it is still a shock to her that it is all over. I'm glad to her that not using NC worked. You should post a thread about how not using NC worked, because I know there are many people who can't handle it. Link to comment
Brooke657 Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Yeah if I did odds are I'd get attacked lol. Link to comment
zosterny Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 one month...but in the last two days she has contacted me...i ignored her...so i don't know what she wants exactly...and now it feels like the first day... Link to comment
The Wheel Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Day Seven I started NC before stumbling accross ENA so there's really can't be a chronological order of things here. That said, here are a few thoughts. Life is okay. The immediate heartache has subsided into what can best be described as a dull unpleasantness. Nights, incidentally, are not as bad as I thought they'd be. I can usually wear myself out and fall asleep. Mornings are the worst. Waking up without that familiar bit of warmth is a little sad. It gets better once I kick my * * * into gear and get moving. None of this keeps me from going out and having fun. Indeed, the fact that I don't want to sit at home and be unhappy is often the motivating force. I've had a few adventures over the past week that still make me smile and are even good enough to be added to my repertoire of stories. I'll be taking a few days off work to roadtrip down to California with some friends. I'm sure there'll be some fun, and more tales, to be found there. I haven't interacted with many folks here, but it's nice to see the amount of empathy and commiseration floating around. Link to comment
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