MasterT Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Day 15.... Today's been... Picture perfect. Drove home, saw some old friends, had a great time. Things are just getting better and better now. I feel like it won't be long before I can finally let go... Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Day 7 Yesterday was rough. Very rough. I missed my ex and felt so depressed. I had a follow-up with my doctor and I GAINED 4lbs!!! (Thats a good thing since I lost 20lbs during all of this, and was already too thin.) Today I feel good. I realized I WANT my ex to be happy, and for things to work out with this guy. That way this will all be for a reason, and I will never have to worry about trying to forgive her and take her back. If I pray for her in this way I don't have to worry about things I don't know. It seems to be helping. I also upped the does of my meds, so that could be why I feel good too? Today I feel: Hopeful, Excited, Confident, Upbeat, and Slightly depressed. Link to comment
houdini Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Day 18 For me!!!!! Do I feel better? HELL NO!!!! do I feel worse today HELL YES!!!...LOL.. atleast I can laugh a bit... The past few days have been terrible and I've had to use every bit of strength to not call,email or text message my ex. Do you know how many times I've written emails but save as a draft and dont send....Do you know how many times I've written text messages but end up clearing my message and not send...Do you know how many times I've dialed my ex's number but never press the send button on my phone??????? Well in the past 2 weeks I can probably guess it's been over a coupld hundred times.... I know NC is not to get them back and it's to get "ME" back. I've learned that if you think about them constantly and have it in your mind that you're doing NC to get them back you ultimately prolong your pain and never find yourself. Until you can truly let go of the thought of getting back together with the ex and truly work on YOURSELF and YOUR future then I'm assuming that is when things start to look different and everything else makes sense. After reading several posts, and other information on the internet it seems that when a person has healed and accepted the fact the relationship is over is when the ex comes trotting back to see if there is still feelings or a chance to reconcile, why is this? Is it because they feel that we have let go and moved on and are happy???? The sad thing is that when the ex does come back it's far to late to reconcile...in most cases that is... Any thoughts????? Houdini Link to comment
Parsley Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Hello people...haven't been on here much lately I know. Just didn't feel like I needed to let it all out like before! Got a job, woo! But now I'm knackered, so not so woo. Today I'd just started listening to 'Don't Stop Believin' (Journey) and it always makes me think of SuperDave now But it was fantastic timing. I put it on, then got on the train and happened to sit accross from a rather attractive young chap. Not like opposite but...there are these seats there are just single seats near the loos, and they're accross from each other. So I was sitting there being all chirpy, and when I was stood at the door I looked accross to see if the man enxt to me was going to press the open button or not, and saw in my peripheral vision that this OTHER guy was looking at me, so I looked right back at him and it was just fantastic. You know that whole split second thing and you know you'll never see them ever again so you just do what your gut says. Like that. Got off the train after that and grinned a *lot*. And then the bus arrived a minute after I got to the bus stop, perfect! Got home and saw my ex had added me to facebook...again. I'd accepted him before then deleted him. That time I put it down to him importing his contacts and that was why. I don't understand what's going on this time. *sigh* Link to comment
MasterT Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Today I'd just started listening to 'Don't Stop Believin' (Journey) and it always makes me think of SuperDave now I've grown addicted to that song! It's the song I listen to whenever I start to lose faith in myself. Link to comment
ahhh2jz Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Day 64 NC - doing alright; nothing major happening, Link to comment
lovesickkk Posted March 10, 2007 Share Posted March 10, 2007 Day 3 -she blew up my fone and called me 15 times and texted me like 10 times to which i did not repond. Then she emailed me 5 times, and asked for closure. So i IM'd her and we just pretty much argued. Point is, she is now getting a taste of her own medicine. So i guess NC went out the window, but i have not spoke to her on the phone. Its going to get tougher on the weeeknds cuz i will worry about what club she's at or who's she's meeting, hopefully i can stay busy and keep my mind off this. good luck to all! Day 4 went well, i did constantly think about her though, but then I went to the gym and ran 4 miles. Its killing me not knowing what she is doing, but i guess its just something I have to live with. Good luck guys! Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted March 10, 2007 Share Posted March 10, 2007 day 63...tired....orientation from 8am-1pm. home. nap for 30 mins..worked out the hell out of myself for 2hrs. home. went out for like an hour. so tired. its weird the only time my ex comes to my mind is when i look at the eNotalone icon on my internet tab. i think less and less of my "horrific" situation with her from months ago. school and other things are now in full control of me. im happy. well its 7:53pm and i feel like sleeping now. or not. 70's show marathon is on. then i guess i'll knock out. P.S. People, if you still believe there is hope and stuff with your ex, there is and there isn't. stop the imagination of them coming back to you. relax, and worry about yourself. im TELLIN U! once you got over the phase of the break up blah blah, i guarantee you, your going to love your self more than you love your ex. I am greatfully happy at were i am at. i couldn't have seriously asked for more to be in this position. there is so much more me time now, and i love it! Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted March 10, 2007 Share Posted March 10, 2007 Day 25 I'm exhausted again. Work was grueling, and then I had to drive about three hours to get to Pennsylvania. Minimal thoughts of Rex until I got home, but now he's come up in conversation several times. Too many other things going on today to worry about hi. Oh, and my coffee date was nice ... BUT ... the guy didn't offer to buy me a cup of coffee. I would have only wanted water any way ... but that's a red flag for me if a man is ungracious. I saw he called me earlier this evening, but I missed his call. He didn't leave a voice mail. My bed is calling ... nitey nite all. -Rosie Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 10, 2007 Share Posted March 10, 2007 Day 25 Oh, and my coffee date was nice ... BUT ... the guy didn't offer to buy me a cup of coffee. I would have only wanted water any way ... but that's a red flag for me if a man is ungracious. -Rosie I agree - what is a coffee - like, a dollar? Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 10, 2007 Share Posted March 10, 2007 Day 4 went well, i did constantly think about her though, but then I went to the gym and ran 4 miles. I cannot tell you how intelligent this is. Anytime we are anxious/obsessively thinking or angry, physical activity is the answer. Still thinking about the ex is possible, but excersise is a mood lifter, as it aligns your brain chemistry. Link to comment
MasterT Posted March 10, 2007 Share Posted March 10, 2007 Day 16... Had a dream last night about an old friend of mine who I used to have a crush on. Odd to me because her and I are just good friends now, and I'm not in any way interested in her. Although I am not really attracted to my friend now, I did like the fact that I didn't have another dream about my ex... Really made waking up this morning easier. A few hours before going to sleep yesterday was a nightmare. I couldn't get my ex off my mind. What finally helped me get her off my mind was to watch "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind", which although made me think of her during the movie, it helped me get the emotions out of my system. Got a picnic to go to in a few hours... Hoping for the best day ever! Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted March 10, 2007 Share Posted March 10, 2007 Day 8 Yesterday was one of the best days I have had in over a week. I felt great and didn't think about my ex too much, and when I did, I tried to be optimistic for her new relationship, and that seems to work for me. At least for now. I have a date today. We are going to go shopping I think. I didn't get to talk to her last night about the details. We exchanged a few text messages, but she didn't write me back. Normally this would irritate me, but I am trying to be more laid back and let these things go. Hopefully today goes well, and if now I know life goes on. Today I feel: Excited, Optimistic, Confident and My head hurts. Link to comment
ahhh2jz Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 Day 65 NC - doing alright; hanging out with some friends and just playing basketball. Link to comment
houdini Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 Day 19 for me....Seems like 19years... I miss her, it seems like it's getting harder rather than easier. I wonder if she thinks about me, I wonder if she even cares if I'm dead or alive....The way she is now is not the person I fell in love with... Maybe she never reallly loved me at all....It's to confusing considering we have a son together and she lives 400miles away....I'm lost and heartbroken and I wish she would realize the pain she has caused me and our kids and our families......I hope it gets better, I just have to learn to let her go and that seems like an impossible feat right now!!!! Link to comment
Diggitydave Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 like day 70 something, i lost count and i think that is GOOD! Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 Day 26 Had a great day with my family and best friend. Once again, I'm too tired to write much. Memories of Rex and hopes I had sprang up today during conversations with my aunts and uncles, who'd flown in from Kansas to Pennsylvania for my mother's 70th birthday. A couple of things I mentioned, involved him, and it was odd to mention him in relation to something from my recent past. I just never really say his name out loud, I always call him "that guy" or the pseudonyms I use here (Rex or the Neverwas). I felt little twinges of sadness for the memories of the hopes I'd had for us, but I was having way too much fun laughing ... and consequently coughing ... to give him much mind. Also doesn't hurt that I enjoyed a nice meeting for coffee with a seemingly nice fellow I met for the first time yesterday (we met on an online dating site), and I'm planning to return a call and follow-up e-mail from another interesting fellow. All best to everyone. I haven't even read everyone's progress, since I posted yesterday -- something I never do -- but I just need to go to sleep. All best to all my brave and special compadres. -Rosie Link to comment
MasterT Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 Day 17... Yesterday was a bit... Confusing. My friend who I have been hanging out with is giving me mixed signals. She's starting to give me the impression that she likes me, but I really am not interested in another relationship right now, so I am just playing aloof and not paying attention to her signals. Had another weird dream last night. Cannot remember most of the details since my alarm interrupted it, but I remember that my friend (the one I just mentioned above) was in it, my ex was in it, my ex's parents were in it, and then I was in it. We were sitting on chairs around a rounded table, and I remember choosing to side with my friend instead of my ex on something. *Shrug* If that's my brain saying I'm moving on, then more power to me Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 Day 9 The date was pretty good last night. She came over and we grilled some chicken and watched a movie. Things started to get a little heavy, and she ended up staying over, but nothing really happened. It was too much for me. I know it would have been great to keep going like she wanted, but I couldn't. I'm not ready. All I could do was think about my ex. It was awful for me, and not fair to her. I feel like crying. I'm so sad, I miss my ex like crazy now. This girl I am seeing is great, but nothing to what I had. No matter how I slice it. Please give me some advice. I don't know what to do? Should I take a break from this new relationship. Taking it slow really isn't working. Today I feel: Sad, Heartbroken, Upset, Confused, and Frustrated. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted March 11, 2007 Author Share Posted March 11, 2007 Mac, Hello there my friend. I konw where you are coming from. First off, I am so glad you had a date. I think that geting back on the horse is a great thing. I remember years back, I was dating someone new as well. She was absolutely wonderful. The sad thing was I couldn't get oer my ex either. I hated the fact that I would compare. I would do it EVEN though I told myself I wouldn't. The main thing to remember is to be honest, not only with your date, but with yourself. Casual dating is fine. Do your best NOT to talk about your ex if you can help it. We all must remember that our ex's are not in th e picture right now. They may NEVER be BUT, we cannot allow ourselves to use other people and allow them to get emotionaly attached to something they can't or refuse to let go of. I try to put myself in OTHER people's shoes. What would I feel if Ireally liked them and they showed me sighns they were interested but they secretly wanted their ex back more than anything. It's happened to me before. There is nothing like the bite of reality. It hurts. Right now you are feeling palin and simple; GUILT. For some odd reason you feel that you have betrayed your ex by allowing this new girl to stay over. Even when she was over last night, you didn't completely feel at ease but you wanted the new girl there because possibly in your mind it was better than being alone. Deep inside I think that the guilt is playing tricks on you. What I mean is, what if your ex did the same thing and you heard about it. Would it matter? I think it would. I think you would be a complete wreck. You are going to have to let go of the "betrayal" feelings. I am sure you were not ready for anyone to spend the night but YOU are in control of your actions. You can say "No" I am not ready or even "I have had a fun night but I need to get some sleep." We have all felt the same as you have. We feel like we are "cheating" when in fact, we are as free as a bird to do anything we choose with anyone. Its the emotional side that gets us...the guilt. The guilt kicks in because of your mental refusal to let you ex go. You are holding on MENTALLY because you can't have her physically. I owuld suggest NOT seeing this new girl for a little while. Talk to her, if you do see her...do it OUTSIDE your home or residence. Try to gradually let go of the guilty feelings. You have done nothing wrong except try to fool yourself into believeing you are ready to date. Take it slow. Put the brakes on a bit...be honest with yourself and with your date. Focus on you because in the end...you are all that matters. You can do it. I am here if you need me. Your friend, SuperDave71 Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 Super Dave Thanks for the reply. The advice means a lot coming from you. You are 100% right. I let things get out of hand. I tried to take things slow, it didn't work and now we need to take a brake. I need to get myself sorted out before I try to be with someone else. Thanks for talking to me on Yahoo! SuperDave is unreal! Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 day 64 & 65. i'll make this short and sweet. i had fun being with my family. and i did nothing but punish my body by lifting heavy weights. =). that is all. Link to comment
w3rd Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Day 25 for me. I woke up this morning after having a very vivid dream on my ex sleeping with one of my buddies. Not sure why I had this dream, but it sucks because the rest of today was not very good. I feel sad, confused, and in general not very happy. I'm trying my best to seem upbeat around my family/friends, im just running out of it today. Some days are worse then others I guess I think it has something to do with the fact that I hung out with one of her good friends at a bar last night. She is also one of my good friends who I've known for 14 years. Bring on tomorrow Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Day 27 Going strong with NC. Also going to bed. It's a littler after 8:30 at night and I can barely keep my eyes open. This week also promiises to be grueling. Best to all, -Rosie Link to comment
ahhh2jz Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 day 67 NC - doing great; went out to dinner with my mom; and I haven't done so in ages. It was good to catch up and she asked me how I was doing regarding my feelings for my ex. I told her I was feeling a lot better than I did 2 months back. I told her that if I my ex and I were to return together, she would have to prove it to me that it is worth trying again. that is wishful thinking though, for me anyways. Link to comment
Recommended Posts