lauramed Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 It's hard to stop wondering....if they think about us, if they miss us!!! Just wish that our heart and our head were in the same place. I just wish sometimes that I hadn't seen him last week as I was starting to get into a better place in my mind. I also wish that I had the courage to just ask him just what it is that he wants from me. Better to know and be done with it regardless of the hurt it may have caused than to keep going on this way. Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 It's hard to stop wondering....if they think about us, if they miss us!!! Just wish that our heart and our head were in the same place. I just wish sometimes that I hadn't seen him last week as I was starting to get into a better place in my mind. I also wish that I had the courage to just ask him just what it is that he wants from me. Better to know and be done with it regardless of the hurt it may have caused than to keep going on this way. My look on things is that our ex's are gonna be having a bit of a rollercoaster with this too (unless they're heartless) and so what they want might change from day to day. I know I've been given two different answers on the two occasions I tried to get some closure (still haven't got it! So for now, NC is the only answer. Time to heal and become a better person, time for them to realise what they're missing. Link to comment
lauramed Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 My look on things is that our ex's are gonna be having a bit of a rollercoaster with this too (unless they're heartless) and so what they want might change from day to day. I know I've been given two different answers on the two occasions I tried to get some closure (still haven't got it! So for now, NC is the only answer. Time to heal and become a better person, time for them to realise what they're missing. Well I can only hope that he's finally realized just what he gave up. His tone and the things he said and asked were much different than they have been in the past. I'll stick to NC, which will make me a much stronger person and hope that he's doing a lot of thinking about everything. Link to comment
Webslinger51 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 webslinger- Good for you, wow day 60. Im on day one just broke it today and feel crappy. I wish I was on day 60. Has your ex tried to contact you? I just started posting after being away from this site for almost three years. What ever happened to superdave, is he around anymore? Thanks! Nope, she hasn't tried to contact me and I'm okay with that. I'm no longer attached to her and she wants to be friends in the future then the ball is in her court. As for me, I think I'm gonna join eHarmony again and start rolling the dice. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I think I'm on day 24? Wow I'm getting close to the 30 mark, I can't even believe I've come this far but I still think about him and want him back. Do any of you feel sometimes that your ex won't contact you, but that if you did, after a period of NC, they would be confused and maybe affected by your contact? And that if you don't contact them at all it would just make it easier for him to forget you? I've been thinking about that LOADS lately. I know we will probably see eachother in a graduation party in a little over 1 week and I guess I need to see what happens there. It's going to be after more than 30 days of NC which hopefully will be given us a little space to clear our minds and forget the dramatic breakup. Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Do any of you feel sometimes that your ex won't contact you, but that if you did, after a period of NC, they would be confused and maybe affected by your contact? And that if you don't contact them at all it would just make it easier for him to forget you? All the time Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Ugh, how do we decide what to do about it? My story is very complex but in short it's "I dumped him, well he agreed at the time because we were young, very serious etc..., he clearly thought it was only a short break, wanted me back, I was happy single (not dating anybody else), he asked for LC because it was hard to just be my friend, 1 month later he got a new girl, I started contacting him again, we ended up in a horrible love triangle from hell that made me realize how much I loved him, he took me back for a while, then lied, cheated and is now back with the girl". However, I still believe he loves me. Ugh, I don't know what to do. If I keep this NC and respect him and the girl he chose to be with, when deep down I believe he loves me. =[ I hate this. Oh, btw, he bumped into my very best guy friend in college on monday and talked to him for a while. Didn't mention me neither did my best guy friend. Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 For now I'm just sticking to NC. I've almost managed a week, which will be a new personal best. Personally, I'm going to be working at the same place as my ex this summer (summer job) so I'm planning on NC until then, unless she changes her mind of course. I'm lucky that job is there otherwise I dunno what I'd do. Link to comment
wishingonastar Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 does anyone else think it's weird that there are over 12,000 people NOT talking to the person they love? i think it's really sad! Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 does anyone else think it's weird that there are over 12,000 people NOT talking to the person they love? i think it's really sad! it is as sad as it is necessary! I hate not speaking to my wife! but its the only way! Link to comment
_ash_ Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Day 2 Off to a rough start. I just can't seem to stop wondering WHY. Why are my feelings so strong if he has next to None? Why can't I get a straight answer from him? Why would he not even make the time to properly discuss it with me?? Why do I get no response to my last email? Just nothing - what the? That's not how you treat someone you "care about" right? Agghhh, stupid wondering! wish i knew all those answers im getting the same responses (or lack there of) this is a bad day. havent cried in a couple days back to square one.. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 This is my first day of not calling his phone. I called his phone almost everyday since he broke up with me on Friday. He never answered just sent me to voicemail. I finally went a whole day without calling but it was not because I was busy doing positive things, it was because I chose to sleep all day and listen to spiritual messages while laying down and crying. Its so hard its soooo sooo hard. I have to do this for myself so that I can get stronger and hopefully stop dreaming about him and good time I need my brain to rest for a change. After 7 years I need to let go, God its so hard. Link to comment
longdist Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Day 7 It's been awhile since the breakup and it is actually starting to feel that way. I feel like my ex is almost a stranger now, especially with our conversations since the breakup. I know it has only been day 7 since I last contacted my ex, but I'm really getting a different feeling now. It is almost as if I am okay with the fact that we probably won't get back together. I think has part to do with the fact that she is seeing someone else now, allowing me to lose hope. We'll see if this sticks... I know it hasn't before, but it is really feeling different now. I feel like she could even talk to me about this guy and I'd be fine and just happy that she's happy. It is almost like I have become numb to the pain, since I would still give the relationship another shot, if she wanted, but if she doesn't then I obviously shouldn't want to be with her either. I'm going to take the view that if it's meant to be, it might happen one day, if not, I'm sure I'll find someone else, not that they will ever replace my ex in my heart, they would just move her to the back. Link to comment
_ash_ Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 broke contact i emailed him to get closure..i need him to tell me that its over. thats it. no use in trying. i keep hoping that it will change but deep down i know it wont so i broke contact but hopfeully from this i can move one im gonna be very sad when i hear what he has to say but i need to deal with it now, and not later.. my heart is pounding..no response yet.. Link to comment
agape-mama Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 ^^ ash ^^ i hope you get the response you're looking for. i sent the "i need closure" email about 5 days ago.. (still no response, and i really was nice...) So, i'll keep my fingers crossed that your experience goes better than mine! Keep us posted! Link to comment
philove Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Day - 22 Why is my mind doing this to me?? It's the 2nd night on the row that I have dreamt about my ex after not dreaming about her for over a month. I dreamt I was reading her Facebook profile and she kept on going on about excited she was about going to Australia (She is going in the summer). I felt really upset about reading it and I could actually hear myself sobbing in my sleep. I woke up this morning wanting to cry and thinking about how unfair life is. She gets to go away to Australia for a year having the time of her life, whilst I have to help support my parents with their mortgage because my father got made redundant. Where the hell is fairness in that? She cheats, lies and is just a generally horrible person and gets all the best things in life. I'm a honest, decent nice guy and I get dished out all the dirt. I feel like giving up at times, if there is such thing as a god what the hell have i done so wrong in my life to deserve all this????? Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Day 8 Had a dream about her last night, she came back, all was good.... then i woke up..... not so good! Feel low today, got a text from her mum this morning wanting to make sure im ok (because she knows im having an especially bad week this week). Im finding it really difficult at the moment, in my heart I always thought she would come back... eventually... i mean were married for christ sake! But now im starting to face the reality that im on my own and shes not coming back. Not a good day! Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Dreamt about her last night. Wasn'ty a particularly nice dream but can't remember the detaisl thankfully. Probably because of this bloody email. Gonna send a reply today - reasonably light and breezy, give her info about work and say my mum will understand and leave it at that. Link to comment
jaylh25 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Day 12 for me after telling her politely it was time she stopped contacting me, and time to let me just move on with my life and for her to focus on her fella! (she left 4 months ago, was with another guy immediately but was contacting me very regularly for the last 3 months) It starting to feel very strange.. we've had periods of NC before but this time i think ive just accepted that this is really over and there is no going back. I feel stronger and not nearly as an emotional wreck i was a month ago... is this what happens when you just decide you have to let it go? I feel sad but its all starting to seem a long time ago. From her I have heard nothing as I was pretty blunt with her about the messaging.. but... strangely she has started logging on to msn these last few days... She hasnt used it for years but she knows im on it during the day at the office... she has her status to "feeling blue".. not sure what thats all about.. Link to comment
Anon21 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Day 8 Had a dream about her last night, she came back, all was good.... then i woke up..... not so good! Feel low today, got a text from her mum this morning wanting to make sure im ok (because she knows im having an especially bad week this week). Im finding it really difficult at the moment, in my heart I always thought she would come back... eventually... i mean were married for christ sake! But now im starting to face the reality that im on my own and shes not coming back. Not a good day! Day 10 I've had that dream about 7 times in the last 10 days. Worst feeling in the world waking up.. I feel the same way about getting back together, and even now with her new boyfriend, I'm still holding onto my hopes that she'll remember why she loved me, and come back to me. Nothing new today really. Things continuing to get worse everyday unfortunately. Joined the gym today, scared I'm not really gonna put it to good use. $30 a month damn. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Day 10 I've had that dream about 7 times in the last 10 days. Worst feeling in the world waking up.. I feel the same way about getting back together, and even now with her new boyfriend, I'm still holding onto my hopes that she'll remember why she loved me, and come back to me. Nothing new today really. Things continuing to get worse everyday unfortunately. Joined the gym today, scared I'm not really gonna put it to good use. $30 a month damn. Well spending $30 a month will give you the incentive to keep going, 'Motivation gets you started, habit keeps you going' Dont expect miricles straight away. It will take 6 weeks to start seeing changes (if you work hard!). I've been going solidly for about 3 months now, i've dropped from a size 32 to a 30 waist and put on almost a stone of lean muscle. before I was a bit paranoid of people seeing my wobbly bits, now im a tight tee shirt addict! and thats after 3 months (working very hard admittidly). I'm really struggling today, I thought she would have at least tried to contact me by now, I dont know whether she is trying to make the NC thing work as well or if shes just moving on and getting on with her life without me... I just wish I knew whether she thinks about me.... :sad: Link to comment
Anon21 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I'm really struggling today, I thought she would have at least tried to contact me by now, I dont know whether she is trying to make the NC thing work as well or if shes just moving on and getting on with her life without me... I just wish I knew whether she thinks about me.... I know what you mean, I still feel like I'd hear from her at least once checking how I was doing. Not to mention my ex doesn't even know I initiated a NC thing. In a way I feel like the longer I go without talking to her, the more she'll drift. Then I remind myself, if I was to contact her, I would just feel uncared about, neglected. I would hear in her voice the irritation of my pursuit, and the uncaring attitude she's developed toward me. I broke her heart, and now she's moving on. Now my heart is the one that's broken. In my opinion it's better not to know how she's feeling, because she could be moving on with her life, and that's not something good to hear. Not knowing can be a blessing. It's like if I could see the future and see if I ever get back with my ex, I wouldn't want to. Even though seeing we do would be great, knowing for a hard fact that we never will would be too hard on me. Unfortunately that's all I can really think my ex is doing, is forgetting about me. I doubt she thinks much about me now. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 See im not sure if my ex knows ive gone NC or not we had agreed to for 2 months until our wedding anniversary but ended up seeing each other and speaking lots over the following few days, then she went away on holiday and its since she left we havent spoken, so im not sure if she assumes that NC is now in force or that the holiday make her think that she needs to move on. Im sure if I was to contact her she would respond kindly as she always has done, she still wants to be my friend but.... I just want to tell her how much I love her and that i want her back so it would do no good. If I could wish for anything other that her coming back it would be just a simple text/email saying... "Thinking of you" nothing more just to know she still cares. P.s Anon Sent you a reply to that PM, hope it helps Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Im feeling more or less okay but was dreaming about him again last night. I keep dreaming about him.... Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Day 25 - Wow, I also had a dream about my ex last night. I've been dreaming about him less, but last night my dream was pretty weird and real-ish. I was on the beach (ok weird because I would never see him on a beach but anyways) with a friend and we went to buy cigarettes (weird again because I don't smoke, it was for her though) and I spotted all of his guy friends. Then I saw him and he wasn't with his new girl just with his guy friends and we pretended to avoid eachother. My friend said something about a movie to me and he was like "are you talking about me?" and came up to me and hugged me and my friend talked about how the guy I was with was really nice etc... and he started to get real mad and his friends were calming him down and saying, "hey, if you still feel so strongly about her you should be with her, it doesn't matter if she's really with a guy or if her friend was just messing with you..." and I was leaving and didn't get the rest of the story. Anyways, yeah, now that I think about it, very weird dream. Link to comment
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