redreine Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 *hugs* to ash and brazil...everything will work out the way it's supposed to. I promise. Link to comment
_ash_ Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 *hugs* to ash and brazil...everything will work out the way it's supposed to. I promise. can i help it along?? haha Link to comment
JuneBug Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Day 41 =D We're almost on spring break, and I can't help but wonder where he will be. I will be taking my MCATs soon...I'm so scared because this whole break up has made me lose focus in my studies so my grades have not been up to par and I haven't studied as much as I should have. I also have to look for a job since I'm graduating this semester...there's just so much pressure that is falling upon me in one semester. Wish me luck =) I know I'm young and first loves don't always last, but I always thought there was something special between us. Three years is a long time to throw away. I guess if it's meant to be, things will come together eventually. I've decided to take advice I've been given and wait another 50 days before contacting him. Maybe start off with emails, and then if I'm brave enough, see him face to face. Such a long way to go...sometimes these break ups come at the worst time I swear... Link to comment
agape-mama Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 I'm in too! I definitely need to do this challenge. After months of "lets get together and talk soon" lip service, i finally deleted him as a friend on facebook & sent an email last week - basically saying all the things i was hoping to say in person, wished him the best and said i was done asking for his attention. (got no reply to the email, sadly). I keep thinking perhaps i should send a text and say - did you get the email?? (but that feels pathetic, of course he got it). grrrrrr. Day 1 - here we go i guess! PS - reading all of the other posts has been really helpful - good to know that we aren't alone!! Link to comment
Anon21 Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Day 9 I feel like I'm back at day one. My motorcycle is still out of commission until I can find $1000 to repair it. Just found out today my car can't pass safety inspection unless the driver side door window works, and the motor is busted, that'll be another $1000. My ex texted me today, it was about taking care of the bunny while she's on her 2 week trip to California, so I answered. I figured it counts as an important topic so I won't say NC was broken, even though I feel miserable now after talking to her. My life is falling apart, I'm doing crap in college, I have no transportation, I'm miserable at work, I don't really have friends, and my family is unsupportive of any of this. I was doing so well just a few days ago, and now my everything is changing. I miss her so bad, and I'm finally starting to realize she'll never come back. It's devastating for me... Link to comment
longdist Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Anon21, I'm with you man. Usually when stuff hits the fan, it hits the fan. Barrel through it. You will come out a better person and your ex may even be impressed by your ability to overcome. Just look at the brightest side of things in your life. If you don't have friends, make friends. I had the same problem b/c I move all of the time and let myself become dependent on my relationship. A lot of guys don't have a lot of friends, we tend to be more independent. You're in college, which is better than a lot of people can say. Just focus on studying and making yourself better. Link to comment
Webslinger51 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Just wanted to check in real quick. Day 60 for me! I'm doing good - I'm more focused at work, i'm in better shape and I'm ready to start dating again. Link to comment
7out102 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 webslinger- Good for you, wow day 60. Im on day one just broke it today and feel crappy. I wish I was on day 60. Has your ex tried to contact you? I just started posting after being away from this site for almost three years. What ever happened to superdave, is he around anymore? Link to comment
philove Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Day - 21 I had an absolutely awful night last night, I kept on waking up at silly times and for the first time in ages I dreamt about my ex. I dreamt I was talking to her on IM and she was half heartedly trying to reconcile with me. In the dream I felt unsure but I didn't say no, then I received a text off her saying something like "I'm sure" I tried texting her back to ask what she meant but I couldn't find my phone for some strange reason, then I woke up. I find it very strange that I dreamt about her after all this time, it almost felt like she was trying to communicate with me on a subconcious level but they are probably just random thoughts in my head. Not the best start to the day but I'm going out for a few drinks with the boys after work so that should help me get my mind off it. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Day 7 A week!!!!! Its been hard work but its the first milestone. Had some very strange dreams last night, had a dream that I met someone and started dating and lets just say she didn't turn out to be quite what i expected, lol. Very odd & disturbing! Feeling slightly better today although do keep thinking about her, wondering if shes thinking about me and wondering if she knows that i'm really trying with NC this time and isn't contacting me because of that or she just doesn't want to speak to me anymore?!?! Going shopping today, so think im going to melt my credit card a bit and treat myself to some new clothes. Hopefully that will cheer me up a bit or at least keep my mind off contacting her. fingers crossed! Link to comment
Anon21 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Day 9 Still God I feel like posting her twice a day is the once way to keep me in check. Accidentally stumbled on an album she gave me a month ago. Reads "To my best friend and true love". Inside were pictures of her and myself. Feel like sinking into the ground, and just melting into the ground. Ended up missing the meeting for gym membership. I'll go by tomorrow after class. Hopefully I'll get myself around to it. Keep telling myself she'll come back. No way for someone to lose feelings so fast, just her confusion. Dunno what I'm gonna do with myself. I look back at my posts before and see how well I was doing, but now I feel like I'm back at the bottom. She's so dependent on others, she can't live her life for a week without someone. But I love her for that, because I always felt needed. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Feeling absolutely awful today and it has nothing to do with him. I am looking for a new job and it is extremely difficult due to the whole crisis situation. Would be good to have a shoulder to lean though.... Link to comment
lauramed Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Day 6 and today I just feel awful. Couldn't stop crying last night, which is the first time in weeks in which that has happened. These thoughts just keep going through my head that I need to call him. He made all these calls to me last week and I only responded to two of them. I knew by the tone of his voice that he was really down and a bit apprehensive about calling me and actually thought that I was avoiding his calls. Now I feel as though it's my turn to reach out to him. Here I am a grown woman with 3 teens that I can give the world of advice to and I can't seem to figure out the right thing to do for me. I'm just so confused as to what I'm supposed to do. Kept telling myself last night that I have to let go and start moving on, but my heart just won't let me do that. I just feel as though this is not over for us yet, that there is still more...but maybe that's just hoping for something that is never going to happen. I do know that at some point I'll break down and try to talk to him. Feel like I'm right back to where I started 3 months ago and I know it was because I saw him last week. Part of me wishes that I hadn't, but it was so good to see him again. See him smile at me with those dimples of his and felt so right when he gave me a hug. I miss him more than ever now. Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Day whatever, nearly 3 weeks I guess. Still sitting on the email she sent me - haven't looked at it since I glanced at it when it arrived on Tuesday evening. Feel a bit sick to my stomach thinking about it and having to answer. Feels rude not to though. Dunno what to do. Wouldn't know what to say. But I seem to think about it a lot. Link to comment
philove Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Day whatever, nearly 3 weeks I guess. Still sitting on the email she sent me - haven't looked at it since I glanced at it when it arrived on Tuesday evening. Feel a bit sick to my stomach thinking about it and having to answer. Feels rude not to though. Dunno what to do. Wouldn't know what to say. But I seem to think about it a lot. What did it say? if you don't mind me asking. Because I ignored the last email my ex sent and I felt quite guilty by not replying. Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Roughly from what I remember - Hi xxx, how are things with you guys? (note: our company is making a load of redundancies - she'll be in the thick of it too, but obviously i haven't been in touch to ask her how things were) Something about how she hasn't met up or been in touch with my mum who she was supposed ot go for coffee with because she was feeling fragile right now (note: she didn't mention anything about why, although my guess is the redundancy, but I took it as her asking me to ask her what was going on) That she needed more time (again am assuming in relation to meeting with my mum) Ended with something about how her email wasn't as depressing or negative as it sounded. So basically my interpretation is curiosity about what's going on with me at work, an appeal for some attention re: her situation, and I'd imagine the bit about mym mum is just fluff and an excuse to get in touch cos really she could have just been in touch with her directly! Trying not to read anything into the needing more time and no idea what the hell she meant about the email not being as negative as it sounds! So all in all, completely lost as to how / what to reply. At most she might miss me enough or be curious enough to send the email, but sounds like she's making sure it doesn't show. No idea what to do, and would appreciate any advice. My short term goal is to sort my issues out personally which I'm doing, long term is to see whether something can be salvaged if we both want it, but obviously on the basis that she comes to me with a desire to. PS: to add that i may have made a mistake about not saying when I started NC why I was doing it, so obviously I don't want he to think I don't care. It's a tough call cos I made most of the mistakes and had the issues which led her to leave saying she didn't see me being a good father and her not feeling attracted to me anymore. Link to comment
Sunkist09 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 funny thing is, I really don't dream about my ex...throughtout this breakup, maybe twice.... am I too cold blooded? Link to comment
redreine Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Hugs go out to all that want them. Link to comment
_ash_ Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 day three... getting harder to not talk to him i miss him more than anything yesterday was good i was happy.. today im miserable without him whats going on?? i deleted my myspace so i cant check up on him is he dating already?? is he talking to a girl?? is his family glad im gone?? does he even miss me?? why hasnt he called!!! this is going to be a long day.. Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 funny thing is, I really don't dream about my ex...throughtout this breakup, maybe twice.... am I too cold blooded? I haven't much either. Maybe it's because deep down you know that something was wrong - it doesn;t mean they are not right for you, just that you know it was necessary to progress. Dreaming about them is insecurity no? Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Hugs go out to all that want them. Thanks....definitely need one today .... Link to comment
Thomazz Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 day 2. nothing more to say. Link to comment
agape-mama Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I feel for ya Laura. It is hard to know what to do... I feel the same - my heart won't allow my head to stop thinking about it & holding onto hope that there may be something there. I think, try your best to stay strong, and let him contact you if/when he wants to. (and hopefully has something with real substance to say!) I find that reaching out and getting a lame (or no) response hurts worse than not reaching out (which hurts enough on it's own). (& I hear ya on the dimples too - they just melt my heart!) I just keep telling myself "This too shall pass" Good Luck to you!! Link to comment
agape-mama Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Day 2 Off to a rough start. I just can't seem to stop wondering WHY. Why are my feelings so strong if he has next to None? Why can't I get a straight answer from him? Why would he not even make the time to properly discuss it with me?? Why do I get no response to my last email? Just nothing - what the? That's not how you treat someone you "care about" right? Agghhh, stupid wondering! Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Day 5 Seem to have hit a bump again. Fantastic mood is gone. I woke up thinking about her and subsequently spent most of the day having 'flash thoughts' of her, but I'm not feeling down. I'm in a kinda middle of the road mood right now, neither happy nor sad. Just getting by. Today I'm missing interaction with girls more than anything else. I think I just miss knowing someone is interested in what I have to say, or is even remotely attracted to me. And of course the physical interaction, hand holding, hugs, the simple stuff that I'm a real sucker for. Oh well, I'm staying strong. After the text I got on Tuesday I've deleted my ex's number from my phone (I still know it by memory but oh well), blocked her IM, moved her down from top friend on Bebo (she's still in the top whatever, don't wanna be a complete jerk, no reason why she has to hurt just cos I am). All I have left are a couple of photos of the two of us together, they've been locked away safely. I'd like to look at them again someday, some very fond memories of a time when we were both happy and full of love. Link to comment
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