fiffy Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Robert Do not respond to this or say you don't have to buy my son anything. She is using him as a pawn- Don't let her. Don't let her make him an excuse for contact, he is a little boy and if she really cared she would not behave this way. If you receive a wrapped present for him in the post then give it to him and explain it came from your ex and she still cares and thinks of him. Don't engage with her over these excuses of contact x Link to comment
fiffy Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 DAY 1 Have been better today after coping with my drama of yesterday. Just feel sorry for the new girl who has no idea the abuse she is about to endure! Does anyone know of any good books to deal with relationship abuse? Am seeing a couple of councellors and NLP practitioners- I guess it will be a long slow road! PS. How well is babes23 doing! I am so amazed and proud! Link to comment
funkymonkey3 Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Day 17. You know how hindsight is 20/20? Well, everything that I had suspected about her early on was right. No proof. I just know. I think my emotions and love for her were really clouding my judgement. Not mention the fact that she was manipulating me from the very start. I really want to break no contact to tell her off. To tell her how hard she made it for me by not telling me the truth from the very beginning. I fought major depression for almost 2 and a half months. She added years to my life and I look much older now because of it. I'm angry and I can't let it go. I want revenge for the pain she put me through. This girl lied to me so much to keep me in her life. I hate her, love her, and miss her all at the same time. But I won't give her the satisfaction. I won't get revenge. Karma will do it for me and when she does try to get in touch with me again I hope that I don't answer her not even to say screw off. Someday she'll realize that men like me are hard to come by. When he cheats on her or lies and breaks her heart. Then she'll be where I've been. I just wish I could let go of the anger. It's eating me up. I've tried to forgive her but I can't. God, please let me let this go... Link to comment
cas Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 The anger will eventually go away, funkymonkey. You're really strong by the fact that you're not contacting her to smear her (even though she deserves it). Write down your feelings and leave it with that. As you say yourself, there would come no good of contacting her to tell her this. Let her live on in her own bubble. She will realize it some time, and when she does, it will hit her much harder.. Link to comment
fiffy Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 hey funkymonkey3 how long have you guys been split up? Has the depression surfaced from the break-up? Is it really affecting your life? I think your doing really brilliantly 17 days is impressive- over halfway there!!! You are better than her anyway and you are showing that by keeping cool and not exploding at her. Can I ask what you have just realised? What did she lie about? How are you Cas? What day are you on? Link to comment
cas Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I'm doing great, fiffy, thx for asking. A month and a half since the break-up. It's about a week since contact with her - I'm not really counting anymore. Surely I still think of her, but I almost feel healed. Ofcourse there would be some things that would set me back. If she gets a bf soon I would be devastated. But as times goes on, I'm feeling better and better. I've got a big saturday ahead of me though. I'm going to a christmas party where she will be aswell. It'll be interesting how that works out. I guess I just have to put a smile on. (and not break down telling her that I miss her!!) Link to comment
fiffy Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Cas thats great! I have been reading your posts before I started posting and you seem so much stronger- it just goes to show how powerful NC is. Last night my ex put his new girlfriend on the phone to me. It was so humiliating. He didn't tell me he was seeing someone he just did that. Despite that heartache I have felt ok today. Its kind of like closure and just reminds me how cruel he is- definitely not a gentleman! Link to comment
babes23 Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I can't believe he did that fiffy, his new gf? What a complete and utter t*sser putting her on the phone to you, don't you dare contact him again, that's appalling and very cruel!!! Link to comment
fifregister Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 It's been like, 400 days of no contact. Many attempts have been made at getting together, talking on the phone, etc. All I can say is, kiss my a$$. I'm with someone much better. Lol. Link to comment
cas Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Yes, NC really is the way. And nah, I'm not strong. If you just knew how pathetic I've been the last month or so. Wow, he did that? What a b*stard (SORRY!). I hope you're okay! Link to comment
fiffy Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 hey babes23 It has just made me think 'right that's it!' I am never going to speak to him again and I am going to get my life back on track. If its the last thing I do I am going to become happy, get over him and have the life I have always wanted. I just feel sorry for her. He used her to get at me. I would never speak to my ex whilst I was with a new lover it is so inapproprate! Plus he can't care about her that much because he has been on a dating site all night and all yesterday. you seem to be doing really well babes. Initially you could only do 2-3 days was that right? and now your on the road to healing. Maybe getting past one week is a milestone. I read somewhere today if you can go NC 3-4 weeks the patterns in your brain start to change so it becomes easier to get over someone. Link to comment
fiffy Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 fifregister- what an inspiration! There is life after! Has your ex contacted you Cas? Link to comment
babes23 Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Read back fiffy, i spoke with him at the weekend!!! Definitely not as bad as before, shall just start again but feel stronger this time. You're doing the right thing by doing the nc, he sounds like such a ass using that girl to get to you. Let her be welcome to him, think you had a lucky escape and if anything this will make you more determined to move on. xx Link to comment
cas Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 fifregister- what an inspiration! There is life after! Has your ex contacted you Cas? Nah, not since a couple of weeks ago. Since the break-up she has only contacted me one or two times. I really don't know why. But I guess that only makes it easier for me to move on. Link to comment
fiffy Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Hey babes sorry must have missed the posts re your contact. is today your day 1? how are you feeling? Link to comment
funkymonkey3 Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 We have been broken up for a little over three and a half months. Initially she broke up with me and when I went with my first reaction and hung up, took her off my myspace, e-mail, etc she called the next morning to try to ask for just a break. I knew that she was messing around and all a break would have meant was time for her to wean herself off me and see if this guy would stick around. I then started e-mailing going back and forth on my feelings and second guessing myself. She swore there was no one else and that she just needed time but you know later on when your not ruled completely by yourt heart anymore that the other person is lying. Every time I said go f yourself she'd call me. She had her e-mails going to her phone. She lied so much to keep me in tow. We even got together a month after the break-up for what was supposed to be final closure for me and she said she hadn't had enough time to think. I beat myself up thinking what if there was no other guy? I let her kick me around when I should have gone with my gut. She was too much of a coward to let me go completely and now she's with him I'm sure of it. When we left eachother in September I had a chance to go no contact and just let it go but I got pissed and sent her an e-mail telling her I was finally going with my instincts and f off again. She sent a reply back telling me I was dillusional and crazy and how she was just being true to herself this whole time. So I went nc again for another 3 weeks and then I had kind of a health scare and you know who I tried to get in touch with? You know it. She responded but it was in a pretty cold way saying how she was willing to talk to me even after all the crap that went on in our break up. I decided it was best to just move on and then I panicked again and asked her in another e-mail to be real for once 2 weeks later. I have been a fool for this girl for entirely too long. Now after this whole time and really looking at the big picture I know exactly what she was doing and it really pisses me off because she'll be in for a big shock when she does try to get a hold of me. I'm done and I'm not second guessing myself anymore. Good riddance to her! Link to comment
babes23 Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Hey babes sorry must have missed the posts re your contact. is today your day 1? how are you feeling? Yep, i'm feeling okay. Still bored etc, but that's down to me rather than the ex. Been almost 4 weeks now since i last saw him, forgetting what he looks like . We'll all have our good and bad days, that's just the way it goes. Imagine this time next week if you haven't contacted him, you'll feel so proud of yourself. Link to comment
funkymonkey3 Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 By the way. Someone call Hollywood. This girl deserves a freakin Oscar for her performance! I've never in my life met someone who could lie so good or be so cold as to stunt someone elses healing because they were so incredibly selfish. Link to comment
Irish Jax Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 I cannot believe I am back again. New relationship too!!!. He broke up with me last Monday. We dated for a few months and everything was going extremely well. We are both in law school and finals are approaching, so the pressure is on. Unfortunately, he is not that easy to not contact. We have the same classes and write on the same law review. Monday night he broke up and I was so upset and he was cold about it and did not give a specific reason, only that he doesnt want a relationship. I said something over the weekend that hurt him, but I said it when I was in the hospital after a car accident and a head injury. He met up with me on Tuesday at school and we talked for an hour and he now wants to think about whether we should get back together or not but wants space in order to think about it. He also talked with me Wednesday after class and we talked Friday. He says he loves talking to me and wants to remain close with me. I told him that i cannot be friends because I dont want to know who he sleeps with and he feels the same about not knowing who I am going to sleep with, but does not want me gone. Basically, he is conveying the message that he is confused and does not know what he wants. He got out of a bad relationship in May and brings alot of those fears into ours. Monday we talked again and he still wants to think. I am just fed up because I know we cannot be friends and I am not waiting around for him to make a decision. As much as I care and want to be with him, I need to let go for my sake. I should not need to plead with him to be with me, as he is the one who left. That being said, he does admit he loves talking with me and that he has no complaints about being with me and that I treated him very well. Its even obvious now that he has feelings for me, so no contact is going to be best. For me and for him. Its going to be hard being in school, but I have been through this process before and now to start again. So tomorrow will be day 1. Its time for me to heal and him to see what life is like without me. He asked for space and I intend to give him so much that he will drown. Jaxx Link to comment
crab62 Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 on the evening of day 2... i'm going to make it... I think! today was hard. bad day at work, i cried at my desk. today would be 1yr for me and the exbf... the ba$$$$$ walked out last Friday. but tonight i'm doing better... day 3 comes early tomorrow!! I like this NC thing... gives me power! Link to comment
ApplePeace Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 on the evening of day 2... i'm going to make it... I think! today was hard. bad day at work, i cried at my desk. today would be 1yr for me and the exbf... the ba$$$$$ walked out last Friday. but tonight i'm doing better... day 3 comes early tomorrow!! I like this NC thing... gives me power! yea powerful so dont give in now and your making your ex think twice about his actions.......just dont take him back.. anyways its been a month and my ex texted me! and well ill ignore him..see what else he has up his sleeves. Link to comment
crab62 Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 today is day 3 NC!!... here we go. I feel okay this morning, but sometimes at work is when it gets bad. Lots of time to sit and my desk and think, ugggh. Plus I have a stressful job so that doesnt make it better... but it doesn't matter much cause the exbf never wanted to listen to work stress anyway.. his answer for everything was "it'll work out" and that's all he'd say about it. Gee, thanks for that.#-o Hugs to you all today... good luck in your NC's for today Link to comment
jennamajig Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Day 3 This morning is a little easier. But I keep seeing commercials for Wall-E on TV and when I see them, I remember seeing the film in the theaters with the ex and how much we enjoyed it. I almost want to go out and buy the DVD, show up on his doorstep and ask him to watch it with me. But that can't happen. While I am healing, I admit, I wish he would contact me for once. Say hi or something, but it's all a pipe dream... Link to comment
crab62 Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Day 3 This morning is a little easier. But I keep seeing commercials for Wall-E on TV and when I see them, I remember seeing the film in the theaters with the ex and how much we enjoyed it. I almost want to go out and buy the DVD, show up on his doorstep and ask him to watch it with me. But that can't happen. While I am healing, I admit, I wish he would contact me for once. Say hi or something, but it's all a pipe dream... hi jenna... hugs to you! don't buy the movie, go buy yourself a cool present instead. hang in there... we're both on day 3 and we can do it! Link to comment
stabbedintheback Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Today is one week. She sent me an email yesterday, but no response from me. Hang in there everyone..... Link to comment
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