babes23 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Thanks fiffy, just feel like i want to cry, let it all out. Tell him off for being such a ass!!!! Argh why does this hurt so much i am doing the right thing aren't i? xx Link to comment
Clabs Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Hey Babes I am sorry you are having some down time darling - ((((HUGS)))). But I think you know the answer to your question - YES - you are doing the right thing - you know this. Keep strong through this bleak moment - normal service will be resumed as soon as possible! Mark 1 Link to comment
Robert013 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Babes23 Yes you are doing the right thing. Be strong. Feel your feelings. Tell him off but do it on here. Let it out! 1 Link to comment
Clabs Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 "Tell him off but do it on here." Great advice Robert. Mark Link to comment
fiffy Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Babes you are doing so well! You have done a week just remember how one call will put you right back at the start! Keep it up. I know how you feel it is a sad memory that escalates into an over acting imgination then panic then an emaotional call which backfires and ends up with you being more hurt. Its so hard and I have done it a thousand times. Being on here helps so much everyone is here to help you through it. We are all struggling in the same boat. I try to keep in mind that one day what goes around comes around and he will realise loosing you was the bigest regret of his life. Then he can struggle with the torment of NC!!!! Trust me it happens. It happened to my last boyfriend of 7 years. I was heartbroken after that and he just * * * * ed around until it dawned on him. He has spent the last few years in deep depression and looks like he aged 10 years. I thought I would feel some satisfaction but I just felt sad for him. 1 Link to comment
babes23 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Thank you Mark, Robert and Fiffy. It just hurts so much feeling used by him, like he knew the right moment when to let go, which would be beneficial to him. He's selfish, doesn't care about anyone but himself and is immature, i really do think that i hate him!! Argggggggghhhhhhhhhh. Link to comment
babes23 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Or maybe i'm just a bitter twisted ex eh. Link to comment
fiffy Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Thank you Mark, Robert and Fiffy. It just hurts so much feeling used by him, like he knew the right moment when to let go, which would be beneficial to him. He's selfish, doesn't care about anyone but himself and is immature, i really do think that i hate him!! Argggggggghhhhhhhhhh. Feeling used is part of the process I feel that way like all the life has been sucked out of me. He took the best from me and I feel thrown out and abandoned. Completely used and discarded. I think confronting those feelings is part of the healing process. Hating is good because the anger helps move you forward. I think your doing really well and you haven't been saying that you want him back so well done and keep it up xx Link to comment
cas Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Thank you Mark, Robert and Fiffy. It just hurts so much feeling used by him, like he knew the right moment when to let go, which would be beneficial to him. He's selfish, doesn't care about anyone but himself and is immature, i really do think that i hate him!! Argggggggghhhhhhhhhh. Aww, I'm sorry for you, babes. I'd wish I could take away some of your pain. Remember this is just a phase. You will start to feel better very soon! Link to comment
Clabs Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Babes - I think we all get a bit bitter and twisted at times - just make sure you don't hold onto that for too long - ok? Mark Link to comment
babes23 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Thanks everyone, i'll be okay, just gotta keep on plodding along i guess. Link to comment
thedude27 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Day 22 Still not much of an urge to contact her. Not so angry today I think that has passed for now. Today I came out with: 1) She hasnt contacted me and I will not contact her (so far I have been totally fine with that) 2) When we talked last she doesnt want to hear what I have to say and prefers to go with whatever she has fabricated in her head to dismiss me. I mentioned what I wanted to bring up and as soon as she heard it she "had to go". Yet no attempt to finish the conversation which is a recurring theme. I think anything that makes her think that this was caused by failure by both of us (shes fine with my 1/2) is just going to drive her away. She's never wrong and its all figured out (without any discussion with me at all). If anything threatens that its just disregarded. I could probably shove the truth down her throat so to speak but its really not worth the effort since I'm not that hot to get back with her after the crap way this was handled. (for example: perhaps break up with me before dating? Maybe even have a discussion about it prior? If not, at least speak to me...or acknowledge when I offically break up with you(nicely and as a way for us to both move on). Maybe even tell me you dont want to be with me when I ask? Or just sit there mute I guess is an option too) 3) I asked what she wanted...I agreed to "friendship" and its been 22 days and I have yet to hear a peep from her. So I think that is off the table. I have had enough 1 sided contact with her in the past 8 yrs. I will not have any more. 4) She wants to pretend I dont exist, thats her way to deal with things. If she did engage me she would fold, like she has before thats why she wont discuss anything. Apparently I "make her come back"..being logical is so devious clearly its mind control. I can't do anything about it so... oh well guess I go on with my life. I've seen this before from her, just not directed at me. I'm still kinda shocked she would do it to me. Its just how she does things then she says "I dont understand why my relationships dont work out. I always pick the wrong ppl"..yea its entirely their fault. Probably the same reason she has no friends...I guess too many bad ppl around. Odd that I have plenty of friends and for the most part have had good realtionships. Link to comment
Puo Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I know I'm doing well, because I had to remember when it started, and how many days its been. Thats a good feeling. Link to comment
kevin456 Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Day 26 Started thinking about her a lot over the last few days...hopefully its just a phase. In any case, no contact continues as I approach 30 days. Link to comment
dqueen Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 dqueen don't worry if I could tell you the amount of times I have caved in in the last 5 months it would shock you! Its very difficult and him sending you and e-mail the other day made sure that he planted a seed in your head of contacting him. Don't put yourself down it is so hard but you are doing really well just making the decision. I noticed the other day you mentioned he e-mailed you. What did it say? how long have you guys broke up? how long is the longest you have gone nc? Thank you fiffy. I was on Day 5 of NC when he emailed me saying "So, what's happening? Are you serious about not ever speaking to me again?" My ex and I broke up in August 2007...yes 2007!! I went straight into NC and didn't talk to him for a long time although I had a hard time sticking to it and would cave in every month or so. I think the longest I ever stuck with strict NC was 2 months...but my ex always contacted me here and there. He hated my silence and wanted me in his life. Well...we got talking again and he disclosed some things he had never told me before regarding the "infidelity" on his part. The fact of the matter is that we love each other to death...we have this strong connection that cannot be put in words. But now he tells me he has a gf...and he loves me...and wants to be with me. This doesn't sit well with me on so many levels. It's either her or me but he doesn't get it! Why is it so hard to walk away from someone who tortures me like this? I must be a masochist. Anyway, as I said earlier, I broke NC and he responded back telling me how I've been on his mind 24/7 and he also said "I love you". I'm so CONFUSED! How can he have a gf and tell me he loves me? Arghhhhhhhhh! ](*,) *hugs babes23* Keep your head up, girl! I'm right there behind you. Link to comment
Abbygail Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 Day 3 or 4... Getting harder. I don't have an urge to speak to him but I'm having urges to check up on him... like checking to see if he updated his blog or deleted me from MSN. Link to comment
babes23 Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 Start of Day 7 for me. Just want to say thank you to those who were there for me last night during my little blip. I'm so glad i didn't contact him. So it's a week today, yep 7 whole days Here's to another 7 days eh. Will update later this evening. Hope everyone else is okay. Dqueen i would leave it with him now, he knows what he needs to do if he wanted you back, the ball is in his court. He wants you to be kept in the background at the minute as if things go t*ts up with this new girl then he'll know you'll be there. Don't be second best, do this for you now, you can be the one in control!! Link to comment
Clabs Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 Hey Babes Well done for keeping strong hun. The thing is that you know this is the right path to be taking - you just need a little hand-holding! Mark Link to comment
babes23 Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 Thanks Mark, yes i think that's exactly what it is. I'm really proud of myself for making it to Day 7 as you know yourself i used to contact him on the 3rd or 4th day. I still haven't received the money, just going to leave it now as not much more i can do, just puts him further down my estimation list eh . Link to comment
Clabs Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 Hi Babes Don't I know it - so yeah, be really proud of yourself! Forget the money, honey (heehee!) - it really isn't important in the grand scheme of things. Onwards and upwards! Mark Link to comment
jennamajig Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 Day 2 I haven't tried to contact him, but as I was getting on subway for work today, I saw him walking to work. I don't know if he saw me and I didn't approach him, so NC is intact. Instead I am sitting in my office, crying for the first time in like 5 days. I want him back, I know it. I know NC is what I need to do. He doesn't respond to me, he won't talk. I know he's not happy; he looked miserable this morning. But I can't do anything anymore. I have to disappear, heal myself. Keep from trying. Today, I think I may try and contact him again when I reach day 30. On day 30, I realize I may feel differently. I was doing better, and now I feel completely broken. I know if you love someone, you need to let them go, set them free. If they come back, it is meant to be. But I guess I am afraid he will never come back and I am coming to terms with that. Link to comment
babes23 Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 Who ended the relationship Jenna? Link to comment
babes23 Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 Hi Babes Don't I know it - so yeah, be really proud of yourself! Forget the money, honey (heehee!) - it really isn't important in the grand scheme of things. Onwards and upwards! Mark Yep it's going to be forgotten now. If that was me then i would've sent the money straight away, just shows what kind of person he is!! Link to comment
Robert013 Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 Day 2 I always start the day out feeling a bit down after I had contact with her. You always end up feeling worse when you do. It is a step back in my healing, but the weekend is almost here so that will lift my spirits. I am going to watch a reggea band tonight with two single women. That will make me feel good. If my ex shows up I was planning on leaving unless I am having a real good time. In that case I will avoid any conversation with her. Link to comment
jennamajig Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 Who ended the relationship Jenna? He did. It threw me for a loop - the whole story is in this thread if you are curious: I hurt a lot this morning. It will get better, but this morning is a hard day. Link to comment
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