THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[Ixtapa]

Yeah yeah, Im back to day 1 !! Just when I was starting to feel better I decided to send him a short message on Facebook. Well, thing is, I got really curious as he was supposed to move to Europe from the Mid-East a couple weeks ago and his current city on FB is still set to his home town (well, where I met him to be exact coz he is a National of one country, was born and raised in another one and has been living in a 3rd one for the past 15 years or so). Anyway....I shouldn't care where he is but Im just dead curious so I had to ask. Not sure he will answer though....but at this point I think Im strong enough to handle it in any case. We will see during the next few days

[Pollywolly]

Day 12

 

So glad that the weekend is finally over was a difficult one this week. It is hard to not text him or to get in touch but I think as time goes on it would become more 'out of sorts' knowing what to actually say to him so think that NC is definetly for the best. The only thing is that he still has my key to my house and has never since the split (two months ago) mentioned about returning it to me eventhough he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. I haven't asked him for it back either (not sure why but I think that before if I asked it would be like the 'curtain call'!!)

[StillSmiling]

Yeah yeah, Im back to day 1 !! Just when I was starting to feel better I decided to send him a short message on Facebook.

 

 

WHY in the world do we do these things???? It's like a damn drug.

 

I hate this! Please give me back MY life now!

 

Hang in there ...

[Ixtapa]

WHY in the world do we do these things???? It's like a damn drug.

 

I hate this! Please give me back MY life now!

 

Hang in there ...

 

 

Well so far Im in a good mood...even though I sent him this stupid message. As long as Im feeling okay I guess its fine.....LOL

 

But Im back on NC now......

 

Take care StillSmiling !!

[exploding head]

Day 46

 

NC isnt all that hard anymore. "There are boundaries now where there were no boundaries before...... " feel the same way, prettymom.

 

I have this feeling she will call me or text me soon, but who knows

[megken]

Last night after ignoring about 30 callls from my ex, he showed up at my house after work. He wanted me to go outside and talk to him, but I said no, I can't.

 

He was upset because he wanted to talk to his son. However, there are many, many night he calls, talks to me and never ask to talk to his son (so that is just an excuse) Also, I asked my son if he wanted to call his dad and he said no.

 

He wanted to know if I was going to do something (like hurt myself or his property). Please, I'm upset, but I'm not going to take my clothes off, pour gasoline on my body and set myself on fire while calling his name. I would like to burn his house down (don't worry, just a happy thought!)

 

He left, went to his house, found the letter I wrote him and called me..I didn't answer. Today, I have not heard from him at all (usually he calls when I am on my way to work)

 

So, day 3 of day 1.....

[PrettyGood]

Day 18

 

Well seems, that today I'm in the similar feeling as the love is Not it's not love yet, because I didn't meet this person yet, and he's even 6 years younger than me. But he's mature, clever, honest and very nice person. So we were corresponding for almost 1-2 months, by dating program, later by Skype, and today we changed our phone numbers to meet on Friday evening.

 

No, I'm not crazy, so I will try not to be in a hurry, also I'll try to remain safe and clever person.

 

Well it has possitive sides my friends! I don't think about my ex so much! So I understood today that I wasn't so lonely as I thought... There was a person who also thought about me a lot. Well we'll see the beginning and the ending of this beautiful fairy-tale.

[StillSmiling]

Great job! You made me laugh about being on fire while calling his name! LOL

[DavidWRosario]

Day Zero - 4 months since we broke up. She is a piece of work. She blames everyone friends, family, me everybody to include the goldfish. She is not wrong and did nothing wrong.

 

I have accepted responsiblility for everything. Begged forgiveness for all of it.

 

One of us is nuts, and there are times I am not sure who is the nut.

 

Anyway eighth time to start again. Please God let me get through it this time.

 

Stillsmilin I am feeling better now. Starting to believe most of the issues are hers and you are right. thanks for being there.

 

Dave

[StillSmiling]

Day Whatever The Hell It Is / 0

 

Was getting more pissed off by the moment. Ok, a few tears thrown in there, but still mad. Felt he was playing some sort of friggin game with not letting me know about going out or not.

 

I HAVE HAD IT! Like I am suppose to keep my life on hold while he decides which day, or if ever he is going to tell me when???????

 

So I just walk back into my office. He's online right now. No email yet. No phone call or TXT. So I just wrote him: (and trust me, I am really trying hard to stay nice)

 

"You still up for that drink, or decide it was a bad idea? Had not heard anything back from you, (except you were stalking ... and was trying to plan my week.

Thoughts?"

 

Well ... He replied, so let's the games begin:

 

"Hi Sweetie,

 

I'd love to have that drink with you. How about tomorrow night about 7? You pick the place.

 

Love-R__"

 

YIKES! Tomorrow is the 1 year anniversary of us meeting .. and I picked the place last year! I don't know if I should laugh or cry. I wrote back and suggested "perhaps a new annual tradition - Elephant Bar?".

 

This is going to be one hell of a ride. After not seeing him for almost 2 months, I have to look in those eyes again. I just have to know one more time, for me.

 

Wish me luck in seeing him with different feelings and knowing I can now break this awful cycle.

[GoldenHillGuy]

At least you've got the balls to meet him. I'm stuck right now trying to get over my own fears. Good for you. Stay strong.

[StillSmiling]

At least you've got the balls to meet him. I'm stuck right now trying to get over my own fears. Good for you. Stay strong.

 

 

**Cough** Balls? LOL Nope, no balls, but gotta face this head on one more time. He is going to be SOOOO sorry he let this one get away!

 

OMG, I'm gettin all cocky already! (now I'm laughing at cocky!)

 

OK, jokes aside, I hope to come away with a peace that I have needed in knowing it wasn't right. In knowing we are both good people, just not good for each other. I will pray tonight for all to be able to stay light, not sad, and that one year later we can celebrate the good now instead of being sad that there could not be more of it.

 

I just didn't fit the box he needed to put me into. And hell, I couldn't find an odd enough shaped box that I could get him into.

 

The next man that invites me into his life, had better not ask me to get down on my knees ... cuz compromise is one thing, asking me to change my whole life and who he fell in love with is BS.

 

Guys, don't fall for a "strong woman" and than not let her to be one ....

[Trei1972]

day 4, 8, 10? I'm not sure. I want to call him so bad! Not cuz I want him back or I think anything positive could happen at all but cuz he stopped paying his child support/alimony again and I'm worried sick about how I'm gonna pay bills and buy food over the next few weeks! I was able to borrow money for rent yesterday but I really don't have anymore resources past that. ARRRRRGGGHHHH!!! He makes a ton of money from the business we started together and he can't even take care of his own family!! I don't understand this!

 

A friend of mine had an extra ticket to this big concert over the weekend.. Rock Jam. Kid Rock was playing. So she invited me, a rare treat. I had a great time till I saw this huge VIP tent with his/our business set up. He builds custom harley choppers and there were probly 30 bikes parked out front. Probly over a million dollars worth just sitting there. People everywhere were wearing the tee shirts with the logo that I designed! And his 22 yo gf.. errr.. wife there.. with a humongous rock on her finger.. it was rough to see them together. I felt sick that night I saw them, and I feel sick now thinking about it. Not that I want him back, it's just that he is prospering off of our joint hard work, while me and the kids go without. But I was stupid and naive and didn't structure things so that my interests were protected. So I'm more mad at myself but that doesn't change the fact that I need to get that money or things are gonna start getting shut off! And I only have food for maybe four days!!! Kinda puts a whole new spin on heartache over a breakup...

[PrettyGood]

Day 19

 

Well... seems everything is OK today I'm still happy knowing a new person who can make me smile And what about my ex? OK, HE (!) didn't write me today. It's not a surprise and not a new thing. Well I almost believe that that he seek for it and he made it!

 

The big thing is that I began understanding myself. It was a very hard but good kick to my ass, to move on. And I began it just at the time, when I met another person. So I understood that I was a BIG problem for all of time for other people.

 

I requiered for their attention, but I still don't have what to suggest. I can suggest my attention, my love, but it's all. Most of us can suggest love, but what's next?... After the time we forget what is "CARE", "ATTENTION", "REAL MISSING FOR PERSON RETURNING HOME". We become so BORING that it's hard to believe it. So we begin to punish others, that they're guilty. Yes, they are (a part of them). So we need to get some new hobbies to become interesting, to get some activity. I'm trying to dive myself into studies in University, into job and at last in new task for myself - NOT TO REQUIRE ANYTHING FROM PEOPLE, JUST TRY TO GIVE ANYTHING WITHOUT A REWARD. =;

[PrettyGood]

I'm worried sick about how I'm gonna pay bills and buy food over the next few weeks! I was able to borrow money for rent yesterday but I really don't have anymore resources past that.

 

I'm sure you will find some other decisions how to cope with it. Don't call him, because after the hardest time, when you will fight alone in the war, you will understand your personal value. He's not the one who can resque you (even with money support) in the worst life periods. You are the one, who can cope with it too, as hard as it can be. Just you're looking for the easiest way and often the worst. Don't harm yourself morally. Don't call him. Imagine that he's dead. What would you do then? If you can imagine this situation, then I'm sure, that you will find a decision how to cope with problems without his help.

[StillSmiling]

Day 0 / Again

 

Bag of mixed emotions thinking about seeing him tonight. I think I am ready for this.

 

- Trying hard to have no hope. Don't really think I do but ... Yes, there is a tiny tickle I have to admit to.

 

- Praying for new eyes to see him through.

 

- Grateful to now be able to now be part of the ending, and not just him walking away.

 

- Confident now that it WAS NOT all my fault. We just had different boxes that we didn't fit into.

 

- Knowing he made the right choice for us, when I was too weak to see it.

 

- Admiring the warrior in him for being able to end it in the midst of the love and the passion and the fun we were having; knowing it was not right.

 

- The chance to blast his ass for HOW HE DID IT! =) LOL

 

- Asking him if his band can play at my upcoming wedding. (Just kidding Dave! LOL)

[goodguy81]

ok at day 0..called the ex this morning to get some answers (i dont know why i did that)..gotta do nc now..this is gonna be one of the toughest things

 

im in shock that my so of 9+ years is gone

[Rosie007]

Keep getting little flashes of him that are hurting my heart.

 

Also found two pictures that I took of him on my digital camera. In one picture, he's covering his face with my coat to avoid being photographed. In the other picture, at my birthday party, he's rolling his eyes and sticking his tongue out at me -- he looks disgusting.

 

Goodness gracious, this guy so didn't want to have a relationship with me, he wouldn't even let me take photographs of him when we were together. And we were together for more than *two years.*

 

I HATE HATE HATE that I can't get the truth through my head and desire to avoid this man like the plague.

[Pollywolly]

Day 13

 

Uh oh I can't quite believe I am actually doing this and staying so strong with NC. Really determined to get through this challenge. I have spoken to friends and told them I am doing this. They are surprised when I say that I haven't heard from him at all either.. We were together for getting on for four years and I thought that I meant more to him than I am now lead to believe (his NC).

 

It feels weird not knowing what is going on his life now as he used to spend so much time talking about himself when we were together (and him talking sometimes incessantly about his mum who he adores.....he's 37 and still lives at home with his mum who is on her own, very cosy and easy life for him Well guess now that have got each other now I am not a threat and no longer part of the triangle. It's funny when I think about the things that I used to put up with in the relationship. Not sure if I would now as time is going on.

[exploding head]

Day 47

 

I feel anger. (ok, ok, more like psychotic rage) I really hope someone breaks her heart as much as she broke mine. I want to be there when this happens and say, smiling "I hope it hurts! =)"

[StillSmiling]

Oh the clarity we get, huh?

 

I will forever watch out for that Mom Bomb thing in the future. Deadly.

[Pollywolly]

Yeh been thinking recently not only was he commitmentphobic but a 'Mommy's Boy' too !!

[StillSmiling]

ok at day 0..called the ex this morning to get some answers (i dont know why i did that)..gotta do nc now..this is gonna be one of the toughest things

 

im in shock that my so of 9+ years is gone

 

Shock seems to be the first part of it for most of us. It sure was for me.

 

And while I am putting my hand back into the fire tonight, I managed a few periods of about 3 weeks NC and then did a solid 36 days. It did give much of the insite I needed to be able to handle tonight.

 

And tonight may or may not be one of the biggest mistakes of my life .. but I have to play it out.

 

Do NC for YOU. To step back and understand better what was really happening. We can't see it in the heat of the moment.

 

We're here for you, but you have to be here every day too.

 

Hugs

[DavidWRosario]

Day 1 -

 

How many more times. I accept this is over, why cant I move on. Life seems so pointless sometimes. God grant me peace. I so need it. . . . again

 

Dave

[megken]

Day 2

 

Honest to god, day 2..after 3 days I finally got to day 2!!

 

However, I sent him a nasty email this morning saying what a load I think he is for seeing someone so young and playing the both of us all summer. His response to touching me and sending me dirty pictures was , but we used to sleep together?? Really, if she found out all the time he spent with me on the phone every day (about 3 hours) and that he would come over on fri nights and have a beer with me at the house and took me to diiner and sent me the pictures and touched me...

 

My friends at work said sending the email shows that he got to me and I shouldn't have done it. So, since I set up his email account for him, I went in and deleted it, thus allowing me to be on day 2!! (I know looking at his email is a technical no no, but I didn't look, just deleted mine and got out)but, I really wish I could have said those things...

 

I suppose it's wrong to contact her and tell her what a slime he is??