Artop Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 You are getting mundane texts and I am getting mundane e-mails from my ex. They don't want you but they don't want to let you go. Rather selfish. Link to comment
SweetSmilingYeti Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 I.......am........going......INSANE! Link to comment
SCbunny Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 I IMed him today. BUT I needed specific info on an upcoming event that only he had (among other people I do not know at all...so hes my only source) So i suppose I have to start all over again. But maybe it's pointless since I already know I'll see him at an event next week. I'll just have to start all over again next week... Anyway, he said that it'll be hard to see me again next week because it won't help him move on to see me. He says it'll be like taking a step backwards. I also told him that its too bad we can't be friends yet because we usually like to keep each other updated on exciting news. And again, he said that its for the best because it'll be like taking steps backwards. Then he said that he doesnt want to jump back into our typical on-again/off-again cycle. He says..it always starts with us talking again, then hanging out a couple of times, then hooking up, then hooking up again, and then getting back together. Its true, thats what always happens! He's very easily inclined to be with me again. He knows he'll be pulled right back in again. Does this mean hes not completely over me even though hes the one that dumped me? After we had that discussion, we suddenly started talking about cool stuff thats been going on in the past 2 weeks of our lives. It was a fun and nice convo, so at least that was good. Ugh I wish I knew what was going to happen with us!! (Oh and you can find a brief history of us here: ) haha. Link to comment
Ashsun87 Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Today my heart was destroyed. I lost the girl of my dreams. The one person I actually cared about. We've been going out for about a year and a half now, which I know doesn't seem like a long time... but it truly had been amazing to me. I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else EXCEPT this girl. I'm 20 and she's 21, and she just got a job recently. Ever since she got this job, she has been acting different. More distant, not wanting to hangout, ect. I'm not sure what has caused that, and I don't think I want to know. Well we were hanging out one day, and all she was doing was texting her friends. I mean, literally, she was getting a text every 30 seconds and was basically ignoring me. I blew up on her and said I was taking her home. She called me psycho and we basically fought in the car on the way home. She went inside and I just left, basically crying. She texted me later in the day but I never replied to her. She said she wanted to "talk" and she said she missed me, but still I did not reply. Two days later (today) I called her asking if she wanted to work things out, and she said she wasn't sure and that she would have to think about it. She said she was tired and was taking a nap as I called and she would call me at 9. Well, 9:30 rolled around and I called her again but she didn't answer, so i left her a voice mail basically saying that I guess her answer was no, and that I had an amazing time with her, and that I hope she finds someone who loves her more than I did, and that she is always happy in life. Guys, I'm a wreck right now. I've been crying off and on ever since I left this voicemail. I think I made a mistake even calling her trying to work things out. I think I made a mistake getting mad at her for texting her friends too. I have jealousy and insecurity issues, and I think I just ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. If she calls, should I talk to her, or should I just go NC and try to work things out? By the way, SuperDave... you helped me get this girl back before, but I think I might have screwed things up too much this time. Thank you all for your support! Link to comment
bronte Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 bronte.. I think you handled the situation with your ex's job interview perfectly. Thank you, it's really nice to have someone say that! It's all been pretty stressful... Link to comment
bronte Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 I have jealousy and insecurity issues, and I think I just ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. If she calls, should I talk to her, or should I just go NC and try to work things out? Ashsun, if it's only been two days and you're the one at fault for the current argument, definitely do NOT go NC!!! It's way too soon for that. If she calls, talk to her and be honest about how you feel and willing to apologize. You probably hurt her a lot when she called that first day wanting to talk and you just ignored her... Link to comment
sngrmom75 Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 yeti- I remember high school like it was yesterday. You seem like I was back then- very compassionate and feeling every emotion. I know how hard it is... I haven't even given birth to my first child yet, so I somehow still remember the ache when I loved someone who didn't love me back... especially when I had trusted them with my secrets and with my heart and they just stomped on it. I know that I am going through my own stuff with my own butthead (lol) but I have to say that, as you get older, some of those "guys" actually do turn into "men", and they aren't selfish and they do return your love and they do give you their heart without fear. well, without a whole lot of fear, anyway... And it IS SO WORTH IT. I had a boyfriend in high school who was my first everything. He broke my heart, and I thought I'd never get over it. We ended up staying in touch and we are still in touch today, 15 years later. He's married for a second time with FIVE kids. But I remember when it happened; when he stomped on all my feelings; how i thought I'd never love anyone the same way. well, I DID, but I can still count him as being one of the few guys I ever dated that I actually LOVED. And now, it makes me smile. Every person that you give your love to has something to teach you; some of them simply teach you what you will not put up with in your next relationship... this GUY is making you a stronger person. I know how much it sucks now, but be strong or yourself. You are a precious thing in the universe... Like gold. I know I need to take my own advice, I know, I know... BUT treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated. Everytime you feel desperate and alone, think of how much pain he has made you feel... And, for now, let it make you ANGRY, not sad. You seem mature beyond your years. I know you can do this... Link to comment
messenger05 Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 End of day 18 ... here in florida... been real busy every minute of the day so I've been able to keep my mind off of the ex for a decent amount of time. anyway... just wanted to check in and wish everyone continued strength during this time. night! Link to comment
lexion Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 day 12th(lost count,is it 12?i've been busy and doesn't think about this very much) today is my ex's birthday if she's not dating someone else, i'll be calling her right now does it matter if i call or not?i don't it matters,right? should i call?if i call,i'll break NC right? me,i don't want to call i want to hear your suggestion about this, thanks anyway, i feel good, i've been better though i've had my ups and down since the last time i posted, had my down this morning, woke up too early, got me thinking about her but, i don't feel depressed anymore oh, just remembered, this weekend is going to be a long weekend for me i know it's going to be hard,but i don't fear it or anything maybe i'll just catch up with some old friends or something or trying that meatball recipe,hehe hope you guys are doing okay Link to comment
Ashsun87 Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Ashsun, if it's only been two days and you're the one at fault for the current argument, definitely do NOT go NC!!! It's way too soon for that. If she calls, talk to her and be honest about how you feel and willing to apologize. You probably hurt her a lot when she called that first day wanting to talk and you just ignored her... Thank you for the quick reply. I'm having a tough time tonight. I'm not sure if I acted out of line, because there have been a few things that have bothered me lately. For one, she went from wanting to hangout with me everyday to, once or twice a week? Also, I went to my grandparents this past weekend and she said she wanted to go, and we didn't have to leave for 4 hours. I called her when we were supposed to leave and she said she was doing her toenails and asked me if I could wait for her to get done so i could drive with her there... but I wasn't able to as it would be too much gas. I don't understand how it takes 4 hours to get ready. It just seems like she doesn't care. She said she was going to call at 9 tonight, and it's 11:28 right now and no call. I don't know what to do, should I call her tomorrow? This feels so terrible. Link to comment
RaeKarma Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 i think this is day eight but i have really lost count i have been throwin myself into school pretty hard so i lose track of the time but im keepin it pushin Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 What is with this week? "Lets see how they will respond to adversity. Set timer on how long there hearts can hold out if i throw a screwball at them and make them want there ex." Someone definitely turned on the faucet with this one. I feel the same as everyone else today. Sad, depressed, angry, crazy, and everything else that goes with the fact that you have to even think about the ex being with someone else. What a horrible week. BLAH! SCBunny - You ok? I think it is time to start letting go (A hell of a lot easier said then done!) but if he is starting to, maybe it is time for you to start working on yourself. Yeti - I am in the same boat with you. It really feels like you are completely destroyed but try to hang in there the best way that you can. It sucks watching your ex prance around and act like nothing has happened and you are left alone. You are not alone as i am going through something kind of similar as you. Stay strong! lex - Hang in there. You sound a little bit better which is really good. Stay in there and then you will see that you will be able to let go and love someone new. As for me - i think i am on day 15 (Half way there and i am clinging for air) so this road is definitely one that is less traveled. It hurts quite a bit but i really hope i can pull through this. I am really having a hard time with this as i don't think i stopped coming to the verge of crying almost every night. It is rough but i wish everyone in this challenge strength as we go through this together. Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Congrats to I r i s h J a x !!!!!!!!! DAY 30!!!! Well, 31 today. Wow another graduate - no 2 graduates because L i l B e a r made it to day 60!!!!!! *pops a streamer bomb and watches everything fly* Great job the both of you!! You are on your way!! Link to comment
charm attack Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Uhg. Made it to Day 12 of NC (yesterday). Today, however, started off badly. I was talking to a "mutual" friend of ours in one of the lounges in my dorm last night around midnight (I say "mutual" because, while we both know her, he rarely sees/talks to her) and he happened to come out and see me. I didn't say anything to him but seeing as I acknowledged his existence by looking at him, he took that as an invitation to come and talk to me. He then noticed our mutual friend and eventually asked us to come look at something in his room. I don't have it in me to be a jerk to him and I was genuinely interested in what he had to show me so, sadly, I'm back at square one. At least it was a pleasant encounter and I had friends around to keep it light. Link to comment
Mustang Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Day 3 I don't really feel any better or worse today. Obviously I'm still thinking about her and wondering if she's ever thinking about me, but I doubt it. The last time I managed NC for 2-3 weeks and my ex didn't seem to notice so it's probably going to take even longer before my ex notices I'm gone this time around. The fact is, I told her I still cared about her and that I sometimes wish I had another chance and she ignored it. Her texting me back to tell me that her phone was working again was a bit of an insult to be honest. I put my cards out on the table and she made me feel like an utter idiot for doing so. I'm not going to make a fool of myself anymore. If she insists on ignoring the fact that she loved me and was with me for an amazing 20 months together then she doesn't deserve me as a friend. It's a total lack of respect. If she's that ashamed of me then why should she even want me as a friend? Link to comment
Hosvius Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 its day 2 (almost a week since she has talked to me)for me as i broke the NC on monday by sending her a simple "whats up" text message. every one on here has helped me tremendously with my situation and understanding it better. I know she has feelings for me and loves me equally it was just time for a break and i needed to realize that she needs her space. so now i am feeling alot better and more confident about my self and our relationship. i feel hopeful and confident of us returning once she has her space. I am giving her what she wants and leaving her be to her self. When she is ready i'm sure she will contact me. Mean while for easter im sending her a joint card to her and her family with a simple happy easter card signed (thinking about yall always, love Howard) i am doing this just to acknowledge them being its easter and to remind her/them of my caring ways. Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Day 8 NC for me..phase two. Feeling good. Me and my friends have booked a holiday for my 22nd birthday..Still 4 months away but something to look forward to nonetheless.. Am also on a new diet too so feeling good about that.. Also sorted out about getting a part time job too..whilst at uni When I think of him I dont really feel anything..there is no missing of him..just nohing. is that supposed to happen. I just feel more disappointed with myself that i put up with this s*** for so long. He is deleted and blocked on my msn.. I have no reason to engage in any conversation on there with him. I am expecting him to contact me soon about some interview results and I think he wanted to talk about meeting me too...but I know that would be just to sleep with me ....SO ..I will be ignoring any contacts.. I have been reading over and over on different forums and in the famous book "he is not that into you" greg states that if they are not calling you up to say i miss you and i want you back. Nothing else warrants a response... I am taking that advice loud and clear..no more wasting time. Honeyspur.. can I just say even though I broke the challenge on day 25...and the monday just gone would have been day 30. Well technically speaking..I only initiated contact once in over a month..that is still an achievement isnt it..? I guess I am fishing for a compliment...lol. Well tomorrow is day 9. woohoo x Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Hi hosvius..I dont want to pp your bubble or anything..but if someone loves you why the hell would they want space from you? They knew what life was like without you before they met you.... Link to comment
Cali Girl Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 UGGHH! I broke NC last night. We text back and forth for 4 hours. He kept telling me that the next man who found me would be very lucky. That I was an awesome, beautiful person. Then why doesn't HE want me?! Geez! This is driving me nuts! Then he sent me a text offering "anytime, anywhere" and told me it was an offer only extended to me. Then he sent some "pics". What is his deal? Anyone? Help me out here, please! Link to comment
Hosvius Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Hi hosvius..I dont want to pp your bubble or anything..but if someone loves you why the hell would they want space from you? They knew what life was like without you before they met you.... because we were fighting alot lately and i brought something up about the past like and idiot and broke up with her over it. So i assume she got fed up with the fighting b.s and need her space and thats what ill give to her. if she doesnt want to return to me and would rather be with the rat pack friends? then shet thats her loss cuz when her friends get b.f's or fuk her over then shes left out and every time that happened where was i? right there as i always was and always would be no matter what. so if thats the way it is then she'll wake up sooner or later Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 UGGHH! I broke NC last night. We text back and forth for 4 hours. He kept telling me that the next man who found me would be very lucky. That I was an awesome, beautiful person. Then why doesn't HE want me?! Geez! This is driving me nuts! Then he sent me a text offering "anytime, anywhere" and told me it was an offer only extended to me. Then he sent some "pics". What is his deal? Anyone? Help me out here, please! I am getting known for having a tough love reputation around here... But... his anytime , anywhere offer spells booty call... I did thiswith my ex and you just lose your self worth dont even think about it no matter how much you miss him..once you start going down the route from girlfriend to fwb you might as well kiss any reconcilliation good bye.. I would disappear like a ship in the night..this toad is allowed to get away with this bs because your allowing it... sorry hun..but I hope this helps..xx Link to comment
laugher Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 30 or is it 30 something? Lost count. After a year and still a whole lot of confusion on her part, I think she is finally respecting my request for space. Setting healthy boundaries, for me, and letting her know what those boundaries are has made the past 30 days much easier. Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 Getmeback - hey, you said it yourself!! You aren't really feeling any pain regarding him now - that's an effect of 30 days!! I'd be feeling good if I were you LOVELOVELOVE LOVE that you have so much going on!!! Hope everyone sees your example!!! WONDERFUL JOB!! (( HUGS )) Link to comment
bostoneric Posted March 19, 2008 Share Posted March 19, 2008 just looking for some opinions on email I will be sending to ex. some background info. I left over 3 months ago because she decided she wanted to be with somebody else. I left quickly within 2 days of being told this. I only left with 2 boxes of clothes. ex promised me she would get me the rest of my stuff where ever i ended up. its been over a month since i fwd'd my new address on. she has twice delayed in sending me my stuff. email: I need to tell you this. I need my remaining belongings, over 3 months have passed since I left "City". my life is on hold because I'm living in an unfurnished apartment without any of my personal stuff. I've been extremely patient in waiting and I have done my best to handle this ridiculous situation with care, but this has gone on long enough. I expect you to honor the deal we made. While this clearly is not a priority to you, I made it a priority to get out of "City" quickly to let you get on with your life. I'd appreciate it if you made the same effort to forward my things so I can get on with mine. opinions? Link to comment
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