gee Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 It's been 2.5 months since she trashed me and last week I started feeling a bit better. I'm day 23 of NC. She broke NC but I didn't give in. Huge step for me trust me! Hearing her message got me crazy and my heart beating fast! I did want to call her but I know there could be consequences and my heart can't take it anymore. My heart says, no more please BUT deep, deep down inside I love her madly! I have to take care of my heart now and maybe just maybe IF she comes back I will be stronger for her, or I will be ready for my new baby where ever you are!!!! I sound crazy...haha. Link to comment
LilBear Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Day 51. Everyone here's doing great! I can say that after 30 days of NC, what you can expect is that you don't have the urge to contact them anymore. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Day 51. Everyone here's doing great! I can say that after 30 days of NC, what you can expect is that you don't have the urge to contact them anymore. after 3 months I still have the urge. today i feel pretty bad, almost as much anxiety and stress and heartache as when it first ended. Link to comment
Addicus Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Ah good for you What did Addicus say? - 'Silence is the greatest power phrase of all.' When you don't have anything to say, choose silence When you want to punctuate a point, choose silence When you can't be heard over the noise, choose silence When everything has been said, choose silence "Some words create agitation. Some words result in questions. Some words cause confusion. True Power phrases result in silence." Hey Sam YOu are doing awesome!!!! I used a calander and checked each day off with a big 'X' though it. Gave me a visual reinforcement! I have to tell you by day 22 I stopped doing it because it was just part of my normal day/life!!! It will get easier!! I am back...was in Florida...enjoying the sun! Well a day of sun....a little cloudy...keep that silence stuff in your head!!! Day 35!! Sam you can do another 5 days and I am so proud of you for doing 4!!! It does get easier..REALLY!!! Link to comment
messenger05 Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 End of Day 10! Today I felt a little better... I'm beginning to be able to do the things I normally do without always thinking of her. She still enters my mind more than not, but its not as much of a painful experience anymore. Yet even though I seem to be able to be ok without her, I still definitely want to be with her. Knowing when she is going to call is actually hurting me... I kinda wish there was no set date although it does give me something to look forward to... and something to potentially devastate me... i guess i'll have to play this one by ear. Gee... i'm very impressed with your will power to not contact her back! you are an inspiration to us all! I don't know if I could do that if she called right now... Good night all... day 11 tomorrow! Link to comment
bronte Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Whaw... i feel my reflection in so many people on this site. Same thing happened to me too. x I think it's a really common thing to have happen--as I've told various friends about it this week, it's seemed like most of them have a similar story from somewhere in their past. If I've learned anything from all this, it's that going NC for a while after a breakup is really important...and you should never start talking to an ex again without having an explicit conversation about what each of you intend by it. (Though I know that's much easier said than done!) Anyway, got through Day #2 without contacting him or checking his Facebook/MySpace/AIM away messages. Tomorrow (my birthday) is going to be the tough day... Link to comment
messenger05 Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 ok so I just posted but how things can change with a little mistake! I checked her facebook page again ( i know i can't help it!) and saw that she has been talking to one of her ex's. There was nothing incriminating on there but seeing that just tore me up inside. Now i'm struggling to get to sleep because thats all I can think about... what a stupid thing to do to look at her facebook! I was feeling pretty good too until that... now I feel like absolute crap Link to comment
Crows Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Day 25? I think? GOod sign. It's been a long time and boy do I feel good. Link to comment
messenger05 Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 i just deleted her from my friends on facebook... i guess that will stop me from looking her up... Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 haha messenger - I knew you had it in you!! Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Wow - you know - today was filled with so much information - I feel like we are in a serious math lab with all the schooling going on here. OMG - gee is off to CHINA everyone!!! EEEE - how cool is that?? Day 24 for Getmeback - can you believe she has only 6 more days??? O_O And that's only one more day than CROWS wow...... Thanks bronte, Demonic Cookie and Volkslad for coming in today - you picked a god day to start! It's interesting how for struggling days, Mock Chop, lexion and bostoneric still come up with brilliant wisdom.... Can you believe LilBear??? Almost up to her 2ND MONTH of NC!!!! And messenger just deleted the ex from his Facebook friends list ???? Am I dreaming???? Sam - I think you definitely moved light years today - the clarity I hear coming from you that is like night and day compared to your early pots. SweetsmilingYeti - how discouraging!! Very disrespectful to act like that with you around - I don't blame you for being upset. I didn't know today could be better than yesterday!!!!!! "NC is empowing - it's just not easy" - Angryheart Link to comment
demonic-cookie Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 End of day 1. He tried talking to me in the morning and making small talk, but I smiled and nodded and he left me alone for the rest of the day. The only other contact we had was when I was handing back work for a class and I said I didn't leave them on a desk because I wasn't sure where he sat. I've gotta say, it's really nice not talking to him, unless he's with his new girlfriend. He came with her towards my friends at lunch and they stood beside me, talking about their relationship status-es on Facebook until I had enough and left. The only kind of funny thing is that he already sounds bored. She was saying she wrote "in a relationship" and he said he'd put dating. She sounded bummed and said something quietly and he kind of sighed and said he'd change it if she wanted. It was probably stupid to easedrop, but it was hard not to with them coming right up to me. I'll try to hang out with my other friends who have no connection to him tomorrow. It's funny how little we seem to mind. I kind of think about him, and my biggest offense today was checking his facebook to see how the relationship status problem with her had turned out, haha. He put in a relationship. At least THAT mystery is solved. I'll try not to check his facebook again. Link to comment
Coffee80 Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 OK i just counted the NC days now its been exactly 20 days or more... I am fine and infact dont think want to talk to him ever.I see him at work,and he stares at me etc.but i dont talk to him with respect to anything and about work too i hardly every talk.dont look,greet or smile. for me he is non existent now.feels good and i dont even notice days that he is not around. i do think about him on n off,sometimes i feel angry and want to trash him.but then i snap out of that feeling in an instant.and do not even want to go down the road of having to talk to him for anything.. This is my story Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 That thread is such an enjoyable one. I agree with a lot of posters on it - maybe not so much the one who thinks you shouldn't count the days of NC - that is, unless you plan on never contacting him (which i would recommend from the sounds of him). But i would definitely keep count because you are so near the finish line! Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 WHAT AN AWFUL NIGHT Well I am going to give it to you straight.. My meds have been increased and sometimes they do make me paranoid a bit.. Last night I woke up in a sweat and was convinced something bad happened to my ex. I witheld my number and began to call him but I hung up as soon as I realised what I was doing.. Then I realised this morning he would know it was me because my house phone comes up as private anyway without me even withelding it!!! arrrrrrrrrrgh So I text him this morning, saying Hey, how are you..Hope your well.x Now I feel sick as a barstard dog waiting for my reply. And feel angry as ever that I messed up my almost 25 days. I dont care if he dont want me. I genuinely just wanted to know if he is ok after my horrible dream.. But now I am sitting there thinking...is he going to reply...blah blah blah.. I feel sick to the stomach...im going to go and eat something before I purge up gastric juice. Ugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I am so hurt at myself that I have been sucked in again... Just wish I didnt love him or care for him anymore... Link to comment
Tinnes Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Hey, enjoy your life. Do not let that phone call to disturb you. Ok, you wanted to call, you did... What now? It is not the end of the world. You can do whatever you want. And do not make it feel bad about you. Start from the beginning. And relax. You showed yourself that you can. Show again. Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 He replied 45 minutes later.. Hey Im ok. Just at college. Am just getting ready for my exams next week. How are you? What you been up 2?x Well least I know he still cares....just a bit.. I will reply in a bit..collect my thoughts. I am not bringing up anything to do with the relationship. I have accepted its over..just glad he is ok.. These meds make me a bit paranoid. I am going to have to speak to my doctor about them.. Link to comment
Tinnes Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I am totally ok these days. For me today is day 5. I'm working a lot, and spend time with my friends. Making some plans. I started with food and spring cleaning of my body. From yesterday I am avoiding meat. Have to start to run, and drive bicycle. I presume this will affect on my appearance and health, and I'll be more satisfied with myself. I am learning how to focuse on myself, not on my ex. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Aww monique, youll be okay. Dont worry. I keep getting dreams aswell...but this morning i got a better one which made me forget about it lol. youve have made so much progress in your 24/25 days, i mean at least your so much more relaxed. your just a caring person Hey Coffee80, thanks for joing us ill read your stroy later on..its a long one eh i dont have time right now. starlette and gee - SameSameSame ..yday i had tears in my eyes, and i was on the edge all day. im pretty fragile nowadays lol. Ive figured out whats going on in my Head - Im glad i have managed the 4 days. I realised yday when i got a couple of txt msgs, and a call..that when i looked at my phone and read the txts...how relieved i was that it Wasnt her. I got a gut wrenching feeling when my phone went off..but was saying phew when it wasnt her. that must be a good thing. I know now..that i dont acctually want to talk to her.. i just want to know how shes doing, and yes..wondering if shes missing me i know she is though, after seeing eachother pretty much everyday. I tried reading a new book yday, started okay..but then my mind started to wonder off the page. It helped me sleep though. Just to unwind. p.s. sorry for not mentioning everyone yday, how many of us are there doing this challange now? All my Best - Sam Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Thanks sam...well we are texting back and forth at the moment... I am stayyyyyyyyyyyyyying away from any relationship topic. I really dont want to know...he seems interested to know whats going on in my life.. I am a bit disappointed that I didnt do the whole 30 days..i was like 5 days away...but never mind.. I will still graduate the challenge...but with just a low gpa.....or 2.2 in uk terms...haha Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Well I am now on day 8 of NC. This is starting to get harder and harder as we go along. I feel completely empty inside. ](*,) I kind of see the light at the end of the tunnel. Got to get through the first 30 and then re-evaluate where i am after that. Hope everyone is doing well. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Haha yeah, a 2.2 But im not holding the Rule Book! Make sure he doesnt suck you back in though... Just display your self-confidence in all its glory lol. Ah Gizmo! I think it Needs to Get harder before it gets easier... Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Unfortunately Sam, i do know that. But my heart is starting to play the "Wonder what she is doing? How she is when she is with him? Do they kiss?" ARG! I'm going crazy. So bad when you relapse. 3 weeks since the break up but i think the hurt stage is starting to set in more and more. Just have to get through this. This road is going to long and i am not going over bumps - i am going over mountains. And until i hit the point where i can move one, i am stuck. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Yeah it his hard to block those thoughts out... just try and get yourself busy, and plan out your day..till your exhausted. You just feel stuck right now, like your car has broke down, and your in the middle of a valley between these mountains! The road is hard and long,...but AA is on the Way haha! Link to comment
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