LilBear Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Creo, you are right. He doesn't matter, the person who matters is me, myself and I. Talk about being selfish, lol. I'm doing great! Hope you are well too! Link to comment
messenger05 Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 just looked at her facebook pictures for the first time since we started NC (3 days ago). She posted some new ones of her and her girlfriends. I'm not sure what i'm feeling - happy there are no guys there but kinda sad cause it looked like she's having a great time. I know i should be happy for her and I kinda am - i'm just struggling much harder over here... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Link to comment
gee Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Day 16 It has been 2.5 months since our break up(4yrs together) and I miss her immensely! I feel good today, hough. I think I am starting to heal. 1st sign of letting go! Something happened today.... I am not ready to be friends with her! I have strong feelings for her! She sends me a facebok message, Why didn't you request to be friends with me? WHY? Are we enemies or friends? If we can't be friends than don't be my brothers friend(her brother and I were good friends when I was with her, why not now?). Let me know please so I know how to act if I ever see you. Her exact words! We never said we would be friends when we last spoke 16 days ago! I'm not sure her intentions but I'm going to ignore this message. She is a tough one guys!!! Link to comment
LilBear Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Let her be. Like what Creo said, SHE doesn't matter. The person who matters here is YOU. Now that she has rejected your love, time to transfer that love to yourself. She is just trying to make you feel guilty. Ignore her, she's being selfish and she doesn't care about what kind of position being friends would put you in. It's all about HER right now. Big mistake. It is all about YOU now. Too bad for her, good on you! Link to comment
CreoUCLA Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Talk about being selfish, lol. I'm doing great! Hope you are well too! We're allowed to be selfish right now. I am doing awesome! ~3 months NC does wonders. I stopped analyzing so much and just started forgetting about her and moving on with my life. -Mike- Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Whoa - - gee, I'm amazed at your progress today! How incredible is that? I think today was one of the best overall days for everyone involved. Link to comment
gee Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Thanks honeyspur! Something happened to me this past weekend! Break through! I want to claim victory! I'm trying to take control of ME again! She has had control of ME these past 2.5 months. It's been all but her in my mind, literally..even dreams! I lost focus of everything in my life..health(lost 10 pounds), job, activities, friends, goals. I have been reading relationship books and I have a better understanding now how I should deal with certain situations. I am going to China on business next week which is a huge opportunity for me(I'm not telling her I a going)! I never thought I would lift my head up while walking. Thank God! Also, for other people's experiences that I have learned from! It is easier said than done I used to say 2.5 months ago but having patience and faith will get you there. Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Wow China - how exciting! What kind of business? Link to comment
lexion Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 day 2 i've been doing stuff she doesn't like me doing i felt relieved actually, as if she is a weight that i finally took off i know some of the stuff i do is not positive, but i don't do drugs or ver stupid stuff around that area it's stuff like, playing pc games, spoiling myself, buying stuff i want having hobby really helps a lot Link to comment
LilBear Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Haha! I'm a month and a half into NC, Creo. I've deleted all his contacts and even changed my number and not let him know. He must have been frustrated when he found out! I think he was actually! To the extend that he tried to contact my sister via MSN. And she didn't respond either. When I unblocked him from MSN recently, he mentioned he hoped that I could still talk to him. No chance of that happening and I've blocked him again. Been meeting more people, trying new things. I'd never know if there'd be someone better for me out there. Link to comment
LilBear Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 day 2 i've been doing stuff she doesn't like me doing i felt relieved actually, as if she is a weight that i finally took off i know some of the stuff i do is not positive, but i don't do drugs or ver stupid stuff around that area it's stuff like, playing pc games, spoiling myself, buying stuff i want having hobby really helps a lot Playing PC games! I like play MMPORPG. It's more interactive and you meet new people online. I've recently started a new game and it really helps me to not think about my ex. I do hope it does the same for you. Hang in there. Link to comment
l_lollipop Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 So, on Saturday it was a text... today it's an email saying offering to come to mine with a CD of mind and old photos!!! Shame I'm not doing NC to get back with him!! Because I reckon it would have worked!!! I don't want him anymore than I want to roll around in donkey dunk!!!! Link to comment
dragon lady Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Day 14 I've hit the 2 week mark, and while I'm proud of myself for that, I don't actually feel any better. I'm still waiting hopelessly by the phone. Link to comment
LilBear Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 I think one of the problems with people doing NC is that they hope that the ex will come to their sense during NC, myself included. But sadly, it just doesn't work that way. NC or no NC, if they come back, they come back, if they don't, they just don't and NC or no NC will just not affect that. We all have to get a move on at some point, the sooner the better. Dragon lady, I know how you feel. Day 4x NC for me, I feel better at most times, but at a few certain periods, I really feel the loneliness and a great sense of lost. I can only pray that this gets better in time. I've changed my number as well, so I don't have to play the waiting game with my phone. You might want to do that. Chin up. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Heey Day 2 Been busy all morning, doing dentistry just come on to check whats going on at ENA! ...admitedly i cant stop looking at her facebook... i just check for more pics/comments and then im off... how bad is that on a scale of 1-10? lol I was in a proper good mood earlier though, listening to music just instantly puts me in a good mood haha i was acctually laughing down the street. I noticed... she never did like me listening to music, especially when i was singing along and laughing... in fact... though i dont wanna * * * * * ... but she always needed a reason to be happy... while i was just happy for the sake of it! Its sunny Off to Uni... Peace!x Link to comment
dragon lady Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 I think one of the problems with people doing NC is that they hope that the ex will come to their sense during NC, myself included. But sadly, it just doesn't work that way. NC or no NC, if they come back, they come back, if they don't, they just don't and NC or no NC will just not affect that. We all have to get a move on at some point, the sooner the better. Dragon lady, I know how you feel. Day 4x NC for me, I feel better at most times, but at a few certain periods, I really feel the loneliness and a great sense of lost. I can only pray that this gets better in time. I've changed my number as well, so I don't have to play the waiting game with my phone. You might want to do that. Chin up. Thanks Lilbear. I realize that I have no control over whether he comes back. As much as I'd like to be able to say I'm getting over him, I actually think I enjoy the idea that he might come back. I'm having a terrible time at the moment and this coping mechanism at least gives me some hope. Without that I can assure you I would feel worse. I don't want to change my number, though I did delete his number so that I wouldn't be tempted to call him. If he wants to contact me, then I do want to be within reach. I don't know whether he will or not, but only time will tell. Link to comment
gee Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Wow China - how exciting! What kind of business? Research and Development (Batteries) Link to comment
DuRuffio Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Thanks Lilbear. I realize that I have no control over whether he comes back. As much as I'd like to be able to say I'm getting over him, I actually think I enjoy the idea that he might come back. I'm having a terrible time at the moment and this coping mechanism at least gives me some hope. Without that I can assure you I would feel worse. I don't want to change my number, though I did delete his number so that I wouldn't be tempted to call him. If he wants to contact me, then I do want to be within reach. I don't know whether he will or not, but only time will tell. Hey Dragon Lady, I am in the same position as you are! I definitely miss my ex a lot, and I find myself thinking about different situations and scenarios that might cause her to come back to me. That thin layer of hope definitely protects me from the totally unbearable possibility of not being together It's been almost two weeks of NC for me, and I've found that I've been having good days and bad days. The worst times for me are during the night, when I can't help but think about her (or worse, DREAM about it). I guess I just wanted to say that you're not the only one in that situation! Here's to hoping (for the both of us). Link to comment
dragon lady Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Hey Dragon Lady, I am in the same position as you are! I definitely miss my ex a lot, and I find myself thinking about different situations and scenarios that might cause her to come back to me. That thin layer of hope definitely protects me from the totally unbearable possibility of not being together It's been almost two weeks of NC for me, and I've found that I've been having good days and bad days. The worst times for me are during the night, when I can't help but think about her (or worse, DREAM about it). I guess I just wanted to say that you're not the only one in that situation! Here's to hoping (for the both of us). It's nice to know we're all in it together. I know exactly how you feel. People keep telling me that I need to "get over it" and that "he's moved on." And while that may very well be the case, it's not helping me right now. I am slowly getting better. There are now greater periods between the times when I breakdown. At the moment, the thought that he might actually still care (even if doesn't) is my motivation for getting out of bed in the morning. Twisted I know. Well, I guess all we can do is wait it out. I hope you're okay! What day is it for you? Link to comment
DuRuffio Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 It's nice to know we're all in it together. I know exactly how you feel. People keep telling me that I need to "get over it" and that "he's moved on." And while that may very well be the case, it's not helping me right now. I am slowly getting better. There are now greater periods between the times when I breakdown. At the moment, the thought that he might actually still scare (even if doesn't) is my motivation for getting out of bed in the morning. Twisted I know. Well, I guess all we can do is wait it out. I hope you're okay! What day is it for you? Well, it's Day 13 for me, but I mailed her a blender (don't ask) that is probably arriving today, so I think I have to start the counter back at zero. (Oh yeah, we were also in an LDR, so I don't know if that changes things). I definitely know what you mean about using the thought of your ex to get yourself out of bed! Link to comment
bostoneric Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 I need a decent nights sleep!!! its going on 3months and I struggle with anxiety every night before trying to sleep. usually i get 3-4hrs a night. this really bothers me. "before" i use to struggle to stay up till 11pm and would sleep 8hrs with out waking up!!! how does she still have this much control over my emotions?!?!!?!? Link to comment
SamT Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Yeah i couldnt sleep yday either... kept waking up every hour ... and today in the afternoon, i started thinking and daydreaming about her.. im dying for her to ring... Link to comment
Irish Jax Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Reached Day 16. Want to keep racking the days up. One of the reasons I do not call is because I have made it this far. To everyone thinking about their exes, if they come back, they do, if not, what have you been waiting for? In my experience, I have had two very significant exes try to return and start a new relationship and it happened when I least expected it and also I had already moved on from my feelings for them and did not want them back anyway. I would say that the regret or the loss of the relationship (in the dumper, so long as it was not a really bad relationship) does not set in for a few months at least. That has been my experience. Link to comment
gee Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Day 17 I decided not to reply to her facebook message! I am not doing it out of hate, but I am sitting this one out! I have chased and poured my heart out these past 2 months. I am drained and I don't want her to think that I hate her by not replying. I am not hopeing that she will come back anymore because that is causing more damage than I thought, THANK GOD! I am learning to let it go..if she comes back (which I doubt) I will be here to listen! I will not be friends with someone that I have strong feelings for. I need time to heal, grow confidence...in all just take care of myself. Hope everyone is doing well!!! Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Sam - you are doing great -I know it doesn't feel that way - but you are! gee - I'm really impressed with the work you're doing, every day I see great statements and intentions coming from you The loss of sleep people are going through. Totally normal. I went through that too before the big 2 year nc I went through. For days, I woke up every hour, panicky. Even worse was waking up with tears in my eyes and a big lump in my throat. I'm feeling you guys. It took a little over a week for me to get back to a full nights sleep, but it might be shorter for others. (Hugs all around) Great work Jax - your setting a great example here. Link to comment
Recommended Posts