gunpoint6 Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Day 8 I do have to make contact today just to wish her happy birthday, I think its the right thing to do. I am going to make it sure and sweet. If i get her voicemail, even better. Over the weekend she did text me and was having a convo like we did when we were together, very strange.... Link to comment
gunpoint6 Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 so I called my ex to wish her happy birthday she was a little down not that excited. I asked if she was going out for her bday she said she had no one to take her to dinner and i caved and offered. Now she is calling me after she gets out of work. This past weekend she was text messaging me and such. i was doing really good past week and a half, havent been thinking about her really at all. Stupid me :splat: although I know I can see her and not really get upsetbut I broke the no contact. Link to comment
samantha20 Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 thanks remainstrong, your post made me a lot more determined to do this properly. Yesterday was awful. I got suck in birmingham for hours and didn't know if I'd be able to get back, so I panicked and rang my ex as she has a car and I didnt know what else to do. She ignored my messages and texts for about 2 hours and when I finally spoke to her she said her bf had just left her flat. I got really upset and was like, so you only bother to contact me when he isn't there? And she said some bull about how she had only just checked her phone. And then I get a message saying 'she's giving me * * * * !! Grr!!'. So I assume this message is sent to me by mistake and to her bf about me. I got so upset and she kept ringing me and texting me over and over saying that it wasn't about me, and that her mum had been giving her * * * * about her exams and it was about her mum. I said I didn't believe her and she was like don't you know me at all? I care about u so much, I would never talk about u like that. Anyway I wouldn't talk to her after that, but when I finally got back to my town she had checked the train times and was waiting for me at the station. I wanted to be strong but as soon as I saw her I burst into tears. We sat in her car for like 2 hours talking. It hurt. She kept saying how much she cares about me, and how i'm her best friend and that even though we're not together I'm no less important to her. She got a text from her bf when she was with me and it made me hysterical. I acted like a complete mess even though I didn't want to. I bombarded her with questions like have you slept with him? Are you glad you're with him? etc. She told me that he wasn't staying at hers that night, but she rang me at like 4am off HIS phone for a chat! She wanted to talk to me to make sure that I don't tell anyone that we were ever together as she wants it to stay a secret. I got so upset, picturing them sitting their together whilst she rang me off his phone and then going to bed together. I was hysterical. I answered the phone and just said * * * * you, leave me alone. He's waiting for you, go back to him. And she was like 'I don't want to leave you alone, you're my best friend, don't be like this.' I just hung up feeling sick at the thought of them spending the night together. Today she text me asking to see me tonight. I felt really annoyed because I know her bf's working tonight. She's obviously decided to spend the whole day with him and just pick me up when he's at work. I told her that I won't be second best and I mean it. That is IT now, no more contact. I can't deal with the pain of her being with someone else and just having me as a friend when he's at work. Especially when I know he'll be staying at hers after work and texting her when she's with me. I can't do it. Remainstrong has given me some hope that it will make me feel better. Because right now, I feel so alone and sad and I have a constant feeling of anxiety and panic and uneasiness in the pit of my stomach that just won't go away. I'm really going to do this now because even though it will be hard and I will feel lonely, nothing can feel worse than how I'm feeling now. And at least I will get some control back, show her that I'm not a toy she can play with when her bf's busy. On the up side, a guy asked me on a date on friday. Unfortunately he is only going to be in town for that night and then he is moving away, but at least it might make me feel attractive again. I hope my ex finds out and feels jealous but that would just be a bonus. I know she won't change her mind about being with me, she seems so into her bf. I have an exam on wednesday, so I'm gonna get through studying for that tomorrow. Unfortunately sitting alone in my room studying makes me really depressed for some reason. I'll just take this one day at a time, setting my goals for each day. I hope so much that nc will make things better for me, otherwise I don't know what to do. Link to comment
chocolates Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 God this girl is messing with your head and heart. If you see that what she is doing is cruel then maybe that will help you do NC. She sounds sort of afraid of her boyfriend. It seems tho, since i read your very first post, that she is contacting you more and more, maybe out of doubts about her bf - i dont know 'But its not fair on you. SAMANTHA LISTEN. IF you REALLY want any chance of getting her back you need to go COLD TURKEY NC. Most importantly it will help you to start to recover. Your body amnd mind must be in such a mess. COLD TURKEY NC. Its never too late to start. PLease do it. Only then will she make a decision. Link to comment
Crows Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 My ex is trying to get my attention with songs..... She logged on with a line from tom pettys song "last dance with mary jane" The lien about waking up and it's too cold to cry when you're alone... Then she edited her profile and put a band which we always listened to and one song on the front of her list about a girl going to New York and around the US and running away etc... Sigh.. I just wish she would talk to me. Link to comment
gunpoint6 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 what a relief....didnt take her to dinner she called me said she is going to her friends house, pretty sure its the new guy cause she always said who the friends was cause i know them all.....I have to stop analyzing anyway its not worth the time Link to comment
NorthDallas40 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 SAMANTHA LISTEN. You need to go COLD TURKEY NC. SAMANTHA LISTEN. You need to go COLD TURKEY NC. SAMANTHA LISTEN. You need to go COLD TURKEY NC. SAMANTHA LISTEN. You need to go COLD TURKEY NC. Exactly. Samantha - this girl is just trying to have her cake and eat it too... have her bf and keep you on the line for whatever reason. DON'T LET HER! Whether you find someone who will treat you with RESPECT, or whether you want this girl to do exactly that, the only way is for you to break your dependency and go STRICT NC. Listen to everyone else on this site - it's THE BEST solution for your sanity. Best of luck - we're all pulling for you. Link to comment
Crows Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 My ex came online talking about her getting a new job. I asked her why she didnt respond to my texts... she said she didnt get them and the service provider was * * * * ing up and she was not getting any texts.. well true or not.. whatever. She told me to call her next time. But she did say we should go out for coffee and actually hinted that we should go on a trip together. Link to comment
chocolates Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 I asked her why she didnt respond to my texts... she said she didnt get them and the service provider was * * * * ing up and she was not getting any texts.. well true or not.. whatever. When I was getting the texts I was feeling pretty good about the breakup and thought I'd just ignore them. But now I'm feeling a bit shaky.. well dang.. those service providers!!! WHAT are they doing with my texts.????? Funny though, my phone can receive calls......... BULLSH!T Blaming Service Providers for *Missing* Texts is the New Black Link to comment
Crows Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 When I was getting the texts I was feeling pretty good about the breakup and thought I'd just ignore them. But now I'm feeling a bit shaky.. well dang.. those service providers!!! WHAT are they doing with my texts.????? Funny though, my phone can receive calls......... BULLSH!T Blaming Service Providers for *Missing* Texts is the New Black ' Absoluitely gree.. she wants me to chase her.. she told me to call her next time to go out for coffee. which she said she wanted to. Sh ethinks I should chase her. Link to comment
remainstrong Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 samatha, Do no contact it will be hard very hard, but its the only wway u can heal. Link to comment
chocolates Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 ' Absoluitely gree.. she wants me to chase her.. she told me to call her next time to go out for coffee. which she said she wanted to. Sh ethinks I should chase her. Yeah SO DON"T . Link to comment
samantha20 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Thankyou so much for your support guys, I really appreciate it. I told her yesterday that I wouldn't be second best and just someone for her to pick up when her bf's at work and didn't talk to her after that. She text me saying that her bf didn't start work till 12 and she asked to meet up at 10, so it wasn't just cos he was at work. And then was like do u want me to bring a pizza over or not?? But she had still spent the rest of the day with him! She expects me to be grateful that she is willing to see me a little bit before he starts work. I didn't reply anyway. I'm pretty sure he stays at hers after work every night now and it makes me sick. I know it's his day off today so she probably won't try and contact me at all. I know that she is being cruel and treating me like crap but I want her to realise that the way she's treating me is wrong! She really doesn't understand what she's done wrong, that's what bothers me. Cold Turkey NC - thanks chocolates. It's not like I've got anything to lose is it? I've already lost her. Link to comment
chocolates Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Cold Turkey NC - thanks chocolates. It's not like I've got anything to lose is it? I've already lost her. The only thing you have got to lose is *the rest of your dignity* Take a look at my thread "Stupid ME" under breaking up and see how Ive been treated and how NC is the ONLY thing i can do to keep my dignity. I do not like what this girl is doing to you. Link to comment
chocolates Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 6"]DAY 6[/size] ](*,) Link to comment
gunpoint6 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Day 9 got past the 21st birthday and now I have no reason to call her what a sigh of relief...i have a question, maybe a girls insight on this one she texted me the other day because she seen me at the gym - she said she is worried about me because I look like i lost too much weight when in reality I look better then ever, really getting into good shape. She hasnt been texting me or anything and this comes out of nowhere, any ideas why? Link to comment
samantha20 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 gunpoint, it sounds to me that maybe she is hinting and wants you to say something like 'I haven't been eating because I'm so distraught about losing you'. She wants to know that you're still upset over her to make herself feel better. Or maybe she doesn't like the idea that you are making yourself look good for other women, and is trying to dent your confidence to stop you doing that. I haven't contacted her today. I didn't reply to her request to see me last night because I felt like she was only asking cos her bf was at work and she was bored. Because I didn't reply she text saying 'what have I done wrong now?' and I ignored it. Wish I wasn't so lonely. She's prob with him right now. Even if I ignore her and try and meet someone else, she won't give a damn cos she's happy with someone else and has no need to miss me. Still, I have to keep reminding myself that even if nc has no effect on her, it will hopefully make me feel stronger.. back to studying for my exam tomorrow. SO hard to concentrate. Link to comment
samantha20 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 DAMN IT IM SUCH AN IDIOT. Dont ever look at your ex's facebook page!!!!! It's got her boasting to everyone about how great her new bf is!! I WANT HER TO KNOW WHAT THIS PAIN FEELS LIKE!!!!!!!!!! This had set me back majorly. * * * * * * * * * * * * . cant stop crying now. Link to comment
samantha20 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 sorry fot that hysterical rant Link to comment
georgiagamber Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Hey all. Im sorry this is so long but I gotta get it out. Ive only had one serious relationship. My senior year of highschool I dated the only guy Ive ever loved and whom right now I cannot imagine being gone completely from my life. We were planning on staying together through college but he didnt seem to think it would be hard. Since I have had a lot of friends break up with their HS bf's/gf's during college I knew itd be hard. So I started bringing up the issue a month or two before we left for college but he did start acting distant a couple weeks before we left anyway. Our final night, he broke it off but he later said it was a rash decision. He was like "I still want to hear from you" blah blah blah. I didnt hear from him during the first week of college so I sent him an angry text and he responded saying "I was really busy blah blah blah I really want to be your friend" After that he was calling all the time and hinted he wanted to get back together. So we did, but he refused to put In A Relationship on Facebook and Myspace, only put Its Complicated on Facebook. After that, things seemed OK but we had some fights and a couple weeks before Christmas break he broke it off. He actually ignored me entirely for 3 weeks while I flooded him with texts, calls and emails and he wouldnt respond. He finally did when I told him how upset I was. He then said he "didnt know" which I knew would be a break up, so I changed my relationship status to Single on Facebook without telling him. (I know stupid, I guess there still could have been a chance if he spent time with me over break before deciding) That break I was a complete mess. He still wanted to see me, so I kept talking to him and eventually became FWB. Stupid, but I thought he would come back. He said he was "in denial" and was trying to convince himself he didnt still like me. Later in the spring, when I went to the hospital he did let it slip that he loved me but since then denies it and says he said it to make me feel better. That summer we continued with the FWB. We fought about the future and getting back together, and I decided to break it off right before college telling him I couldnt be friends with him anymore. He sounded very hurt and I didnt contact him at all for a month. I started liking other guys, but after I got drunk for the first time I drunk texted him and he texted back. I ended up talking to him again he said he thought he would never hear from me again. He seemed very happy to be talking to me. Last Christmas we continued the FWB and he seemed to be more attached. He invited me to his family parties, his mom even introduced me as his girlfriend, and wanted to hang out more. This Christmas he was the one calling me and wanting to see me (such as New Years Eve but I had plans) as opposed to the Xmas before it was more the other way around (when I desparetly kept asking him to come for New Years and he wouldnt). I have talked about what will happen after college but with grad school and such I dont see how it'd work unless I moved to be with him which he has never suggested and just says "ill visit you at grad school too" Ive brought up the fact that very few girls go to his college (he goes to a competive engineering school) but he says most of those girls are available he just doesnt like them or theyre not attractive enough. Ive brought up that im his crutch but he says Im his best friend and he cares about me alot. (I do believe this, he does but I dont think it justifies his FWB. I doubt he didnt know I did it to get him back, I told him on a couple occasions) Anyway I finally realized he had no intention of getting back together with me ever so I sent him a Facebook message explaining all this. I didnt do it on the phone, I didnt wanna hear him all sad. He said " Im sorry I have never trusted anyone much before. I dont know what the future has in store, I dont know what I want to do." 4 days later and 2 days ago when I returned to school I sent him a reply asking him to remove my old roommate from his friends list (I have asked him 2 do this a million times, he keeps forgetting. My old roommate hates me and constantly gossips about me and I know she looks at his profile for info on me. He doesnt know her and has never met her so it shouldnt be a big deal. This has bothered me awhile) He kept asking me why I cared about it. I explained about the gossiping which he knows about, and he was like why do u care I thought u didnt wanna be my friend? Imed me but I had to leave I said Id talk to him later. Last night he imed me and said I removed her and I said thank you. But he never said anything after that so hes probably mad and thinks Im annoying. I did break NC again but I had to get him to remove her and I dont plan on initiating contact again. So today is officially my first day of NC. 1/15 I seriously doubt he will come back. If anything, he might contact me when he comes home for summer (that is if he even does, he might get an internship somewhere far away which would be awesome) he might miss my presense. He does have some friends he sees once in awhile but he spent most of his time with me. Link to comment
remainstrong Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Hey Samantha I looked at my Ex's Faceparty facebook etc when we first split 5 mths ago... it said loads of similar things guess what it was all a front and a rebound ... dont take it to heart but dont look again either all u will do is upset yourself NC means not looking at those sites either... PS hello fellow brummy, im from hall green. Link to comment
chocolates Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 In the magazine called "Australian Art collector' I saw a photo by an artist , of a girl wearing a white tshirt that says: "FACEBOOK RUINED MY LIFE" :splat: Link to comment
chokidea Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 this one will be to hard for me, as my partner left me on 2 months ago but took the 2 children, and i need to keep in contact with them, so i do have to talk to her to see how they are, i love my kids and i couldnt avoid not being able to speak to them but it goes through her, andthings have to be sorted out when i get to see them etc and when im allowed to ring or not. but otherwise i would of tried the challenge, it would of been interesting. thx dean Link to comment
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