THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[Crows]

My ex just texted me. She said she has the day off and "free time"

 

 

"wrapping gifts, seeing my dad and thats about it"

 

Is this a hint?

[yo]

Please do not send this email to her. Please start No Contact and try to stick to it. The more you contact her, the longer it will take to move on.

 

Bostoneric..

 

Please Please don't send that email!! It's NOT going to affect her in any way!! Trust me! I have tried it and it doesn't work!! And it only pushed her away from me.

 

She might even forward this email to her friends and make a joke out of it!! So, PLEASE DON'T SEND IT!!!

 

Take care bro..

[bostoneric]

Yeah I know I shouldnt, but that b*tch needs to realize what she did!

 

to think shes using this new relationship to hide her feelings...

so f*cking lame....

 

after further reviewing, it will not be sent, i guess it was more for me to put down in writing for review later down the road when I'm feeling weak...

 

she doesnt deserve me or my love any longer.

 

 

Please do not send this email to her. Please start No Contact and try to stick to it. The more you contact her, the longer it will take to move on.

[helifreak]

Just thought I would chime in here.

 

Unconditional love is remembering the good times you had with your ex and forgiving them for whatever s*** they put you through. Yes it hurts like hell and I get angry at times too, but when I really get past the anger, i realize its caused by hurt and not by true anger.

 

I dont claim to have the answers and I'm not trying to preach, but its really easier on yourself to just truly love your ex (as you did when you were with them) and let them go. Unconditional love means loving them without conditions, not when they are being nice to you.

 

I dont think you have to let them walk all over you and be a doormat, but at the same time, whatever they are going through, they are just being humans like the rest of us.

 

Again, I dont know it all and dont claim to be perfect, but it really does help me to love her and let her go whenever I start to hurt and get angry.

[yo]

Just thought I would chime in here.

 

Unconditional love is remembering the good times you had with your ex and forgiving them for whatever s*** they put you through. Yes it hurts like hell and I get angry at times too, but when I really get past the anger, i realize its caused by hurt and not by true anger.

 

Helifreak,

 

I think this makes a lot of sense. We cannot blame our exes for our misery, persay. They are just living their lives, they're happy and they have moved on. If we have to blame anyone, it's us. We are trying to hold on to yesterday and refusing to see what tomorrow holds for us.

 

I really don't hate her for what she's done, but, like you said all the anger is because of my hurt ego and seeing all my dreams come crashing down. But, now I am willing to start building that dream again. It's my life and I want to take control of it. I want to just hold on to the "good times" and erase the bad parts. I know it's going to take sometime, but I will get there someday.

 

I am really happy that she's happy wherever she is and with whoever she is with. (I know I am sounding like a loser, but I guess this is the way to go..)

[bostoneric]

ok I was able to keep up NC today!!!

 

ex called and I did not answer it!! i was so strong.

 

"hey I'm just calling to check in on you and to see if you made it to FL yet? call me when you get there!"

 

I've told her i'm not going to my flying to my parents house till sunday !?!?!

 

why would she be calling me to "check in on me" ???

 

to me it helps her have less guilt if she knows what i'm doing/feeling..

[foleno]

ok I was able to keep up NC today!!!

 

ex called and I did not answer it!! i was so strong.

 

"hey I'm just calling to check in on you and to see if you made it to FL yet? call me when you get there!"

 

I've told her i'm not going to my flying to my parents house till sunday !?!?!

 

why would she be calling me to "check in on me" ???

 

to me it helps her have less guilt if she knows what i'm doing/feeling..

 

 

Hey I am proud of you. Good work not sending that email.. and doing NC. Its very hard, but it will help you get through it.

[foleno]

Okay. I did sned my ex the card. Actually I made my own card. I think Hall Mark might offer me a job, But I actually did not say I love you. I just wished her happyness. No I love you. Kinda short, but ya the card is out of this world. I know this sound crazy, but ya that is what i did. Its not about may be she will like it call me, blah blah. I have feelings for her, and I just wanted to express them, since I could not do that as a lover I did it as a friend. If I do not post for a while. Every one have a great holiday. Sean

[lovemeorleaveme00]

day 27!! 3 more days til graduation day..not that im contacting him but it almost feels like I achieved something!

[yo]

It's almost midnight and I am feeling all alone and lonely again. I can't believe just a couple of weeks back I was talking to her and texting her the whole night..things were soo good! things were soo different..I was soo HAPPY!!

 

I don't even know if she thinks about me anymore.

I don't even know if she misses me anymore.

I don't even know if she knows how much I miss her.

I don't even know if she knows how much I love her.

 

She's gone as swiftly as she came.

The war is over even before it started.

And I am still left fighting;

Fighting my own feelings,

Fighting my own hurt,

Fighting my own war.

 

Happy Holidays everyone...

[bostoneric]

I feel the same pain, but for me we moved x-country to her hometown to start our family... few months later I was forced to move again, this time without a plan other then to heal.

 

It's almost midnight and I am feeling all alone and lonely again. I can't believe just a couple of weeks back I was talking to her and texting her the whole night..things were soo good! things were soo different..I was soo HAPPY!!

 

I don't even know if she thinks about me anymore.

I don't even know if she misses me anymore.

I don't even know if she knows how much I miss her.

I don't even know if she knows how much I love her.

 

She's gone as swiftly as she came.

The war is over even before it started.

And I am still left fighting;

Fighting my own feelings,

Fighting my own hurt,

Fighting my own war.

 

Happy Holidays everyone...

[delerium6]

NC Day 10.

 

Those 10 days will be easy compared to the next 10 days spanning Christmas and New Years Eve. First time in 6 years these days will pass without 'her'. It's not like I'm going to contact her (and I know she won't contact me, as she knows I'm still pretty hurt/emotional). NC is still going to happen. But I just want to close my eyes and get next week over with as quickly as possible.

 

I'm sure next holiday season will be a lot better, regardless of whether I'm single or with someone else. But this one is trashed.

[bostoneric]

I'm sure next holiday season will be a lot better, regardless of whether I'm single or with someone else. But this one is trashed.

 

exactly how I feel, "we" always made holidays a huge amazing thing.

for xmas we use to drive up into the mountains and find a "cut your own xmas tree" place and bring a basket with some hot coco and make a big day of finding the perfect tree... putting up xmas lights and etc were always an amazing day also... the xmas vacation and 24hrs of xmas story movies were always something we use to make a big event also..

 

so all in all this is a very uncomfortable xmas this year...

 

good thing at the last minute I was able to find a decent deal on a flight to visit my parents for 5 days..

[Crows]

Well day 1 again.......

 

She texted me last morning a few times. She mentioned she had "alot of free time" took the day of work for some reason. Wrapped gifts, seeing her dad , cleaning etc.

 

And I replied about the news of my roomate getting married. She never responded to that.

 

About that: We had always talked about living together, she wanted to live wiht me pretty bad at one point. Now she's living with this guy, that i'm not sure how serious it is. But she finally has her kitty and a new place she can live "half the time" i guess.

 

So now il be looking for a new roomate and or place soon. What will she do?

[yo]

I feel the same pain, but for me we moved x-country to her hometown to start our family... few months later I was forced to move again, this time without a plan other then to heal.

 

Even I moved all the way accross the country, just to get away from her thoughts and memories. A new place, new friends is helping me a lil bit, but I still miss her like crazy.

[lovemeorleaveme00]

day 28! 2 more days to 30

[bostoneric]

day 2 for me...

 

she called me again, but this time she did not leave a msg...

I wonder what she wanted..

again it was really hard not to answer..

 

 

but I cant let her have the control during this time,

i cant let her feel less guilt..

"checking in on me" gives her control and helps her feel less guilty.

 

its so hard to not answer, there is nothing more I want then to just hear her sweet loving voice, but I know I'll feel so depressed after we talk.

 

and i'm not ready to talk to her yet, if I do I know i'll say the wrong thing and maybe push her away even more..

 

i wonder what she thinks when i dont answer???

 

i wonder if she'll call me on xmas, or if i'll get a card??

[yo]

day 2 for me...

 

she called me again, but this time she did not leave a msg...

I wonder what she wanted..

again it was really hard not to answer..

 

 

but I cant let her have the control during this time,

i cant let her feel less guilt..

"checking in on me" gives her control and helps her feel less guilty.

 

its so hard to not answer, there is nothing more I want then to just hear her sweet loving voice, but I know I'll feel so depressed after we talk.

 

and i'm not ready to talk to her yet, if I do I know i'll say the wrong thing and maybe push her away even more..

 

i wonder what she thinks when i dont answer???

 

i wonder if she'll call me on xmas, or if i'll get a card??

 

 

Way to go bro!!! Keep it up. I know it must be so hard. What she thinks is her problem. Don't worry about it. Think about yourself first, rest all later. Just keep the NC going. I am sure you will hear the phone ring more now. Good Luck.

[yo]

Broke NC again..

 

I didn't contact her..but I snooped around again and found out that she's actually dating her ex bf again!!! It just breaks my heart. But, I have noone but myself to blame for snooping around...

[bostoneric]

I know how you feel, "snooping around" is just so easy thankts to the interwebz.

 

I found myself wanting to look at her myspace page quite often. but then i just remember what good will it do me? it will just make me sad so I click on something else quickly!

 

Broke NC again..

 

I didn't contact her..but I snooped around again and found out that she's actually dating her ex bf again!!! It just breaks my heart. But, I have noone but myself to blame for snooping around...

[AngryHeart]

Welll, it's day 6 since I contacted him. BUT - I think he changed his number in the week that I was doing NC before, so he probably hasn't gotten anything from me in like 2 weeks. But I'm just gonna count it as when I stopped contacting him altogether, so yeah - 6 days. I have no choice but to do NC, unless I email him or go to his house, because he has my number - I don't have his!!! AARGHHH

[Crows]

Day 2.... she hasnt texted back, to me saying my roomate is getting engaged. I don't know why.

 

But I miss her and I hope to hear from her soon, because I think im getting my hopes up too much sometimes..ughhh

[foleno]

day 2 for me...

 

she called me again, but this time she did not leave a msg...

I wonder what she wanted..

again it was really hard not to answer..

 

 

but I cant let her have the control during this time,

i cant let her feel less guilt..

"checking in on me" gives her control and helps her feel less guilty.

 

its so hard to not answer, there is nothing more I want then to just hear her sweet loving voice, but I know I'll feel so depressed after we talk.

 

and i'm not ready to talk to her yet, if I do I know i'll say the wrong thing and maybe push her away even more..

 

i wonder what she thinks when i dont answer???

 

i wonder if she'll call me on xmas, or if i'll get a card??

 

Hey. good. I know its hard. NC can be challenging, up u need 2 do it 4 your self. just get to days 3. one day at a time

[foleno]

Broke NC again..

 

I didn't contact her..but I snooped around again and found out that she's actually dating her ex bf again!!! It just breaks my heart. But, I have noone but myself to blame for snooping around...

 

Wow. she is dating the ex. Snooping seems like a way to at least get you throuhgh the no contact part, but it always hurts. Besides that time can be always better spent on improving your self. A journal, or the book seven secrets of marriage. by john Gottman, is really good. just do nc 4 one day.

[foleno]

starting 2 put somethings togeather. I was realizing how my behavior can be off somethings, very spacey. When we love, that cnnection needs to really be on all the time, or one day when one person is scared, they realize I have to start over. Then every little thing starts to be counted against you, until they are ready to switch. NC. y I know I cheated but she will not get that letter until the 25 and that will be 30 days of nc. I just want to be friends at least. really.