THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[CreoUCLA]

Nothing to be sorry about, I bet you feel so much better after venting out the way you feel about your ex and the relationship that you had with her.

 

Thanks, and yes I did feel much better. I actually went to sleep happy and woke up happy for the first time in several weeks. I feel so relieved that I don't have the burden of an unhealthy relationship anymore.

 

 

Hang in there, we are all doing this together!

 

Yes, we are! I will not leave anytime soon, because I want to return all of the advice/support/help that everyone has given me.

 

-Mike-

[lrw301jl]

NC #12

 

My ex called me this morning while I was in the shower. I listen to her message, it her little girl telling me that" She missed me and told me to call her" I miss Addie(ex's daughter) so much and for moment I felt weak! I wanted to call my ex, but I remained stronged. I'm doing NC for myself to get better and to become the person I wanted to be. I love my ex, but right now I just need to work on myself. She knows how I feel about her. In relationship it takes two to make it work, and she has show me more than this.

[digitaldiva]

I can't do it. What if he's calling because he wants to come back? When we go without chatting for a while things are so awkward. Then we have to build everything up all over again.

[blindreepr]

Day 4 Complete, Day 5 Starting

 

I think it's getting easier. It still hurts that she hasn't attempted to contact me at all. I guess that just goes to show how she really feels about me. She can tell me that she still loves me a million times but actions are more meaningful than words.

[farfrmnormal]

Day 12

 

Today is day 12 – if I had have stuck with NC the first time I would be on day 22, but that is neither here nor there.

 

I feel somewhat stuck. My emotions are confusing and I sometimes don’t get myself. I’m not sure if this is the realization phase or what….

I have no urge to call him, see him, send him a message or even have contact with him – but I still don’t feel like I have let him go completely. We spoke on Halloween (which broke my initial 10 days of NC) and had a good conversation. I made the call to have some unanswered questions answered, which obviously surrounded the relationship. I wish I had not mentioned anything about the relationship now, but I cannot change the past. The entire conversation was not about our past though, in fact, most of it was just us catching up. At the end of the conversation he said he would call me and that it wouldn’t be two weeks before I heard from him (like the last time – and I only heard from him because I made the call). So here I am at Day 12 of NC and there is no phone call. I’m not upset that I have not heard from him, because frankly I don’t want to talk with him unless he is calling to make amends. I am just upset that he has broken his word. Someone’s honesty and integrity means more to me then the phone call. It truly is odd to me – in the 4 years we were together he was always honest with me. I do know that he owes me nothing and doesn’t have to call. Point being is – don’t say you will if you won’t. How much of what I was told (the reason behind us not trying to fix our relationship) is really the truth?

I can’t continue to rack my brains wondering – I hate the mixed messages he sends when we talk. “Yes, I am optimistic about us – but then again you never know what will happen”. I hold on to that – how do I let go of that little bit of hope he has instilled? I don’t let him know that it has affected me – he can’t know. He would then hold all of the power. I need to let go. I know what we HAD is gone and I don’t want that. Memories and flash backs of the good times out weigh the bad times – what can I think of to sway the thoughts?

 

All in all, I am good – I feel good. Is this just part of the process?

[orangesoda]

Day 5 Afternoon

 

Feeling low. I think the finality of the situation started hitting me and it's not pleasant at all. Unfortunately it's provoking alot of memories and emotions.

 

I almost hate myself for feeling confident that I could somehow make this work. But I don't want it to because I don't want to make the effort without her showing some effort as well.

 

I hope this passes.

[glimmerofhope]

Day 13

 

If you exclude two e-mails that were made for the sole purpose of switching bills (no small talk at all), it's actually day 23. But NC is NC, right?

 

Anyhow, I am disturbed by the swings in my emotions. One minute I'm fine, the next, a mess. Her birthday is this week. I have made the decision to do nothing. I will let the day come and go like any other. That's really tough for me...I still love this woman, and it's her birthday, for heaven's sake!

 

I have also had to cut off all contact with her family. They wanted to stay in touch, but I just cannot do it. No contact it is, and no contact it shall remain.

[not my real name]

Blah, back to day one after failing on day one yesterday. Had to go round there last night to pick up an overdue library book and ended up arguing and fighting and well, me just being a bit of a psycho. Ended up him yelling at me: "why are you still holding on?! Let go!" How embarrassing.

 

Two weeks since the breakup, day one of no contact. Good luck to me, I don't think this will last long.

[cant find my smile]

Also back to Day 1 after not even 24 hours.

 

I felt so strong all day, and then like a moron I sliced through my finger with a bread knife, had to get stitches and then felt the need to text him about it. clearly I am looking for sympathy, and when I get no response I am going to feel like sh*t. great...

[The_411]

I've been broken up since 9/30/07 but due to complex financial issues i.e lease, car etc we've been in Contact. However only the car issue remains. Today is day 4 of NC. I've gone through lots of emotions from extreme sadness to great anger, relief, and cycling through over and over again. My ex neeeds serious help so it's hard to see her self destruct. She said that our relationship was too perfect and I was too good for her and she didn't deserve me. What a load of crap eh?

 

Right now I'm pissed at her because we were close to being married and she threw it all way for a very very stupid reason.

 

I'm moving on but she's going to flounder because her decision is alienating her "friends" and she'll likely be isolated.

[Crows]

Day 4 of NC ends again.

 

I have a new girl chasing me. (one i dated a few times last summer)

 

WOOO!

[Reddy]

still in NC but i'm just feeling a tad down tonight. i dunno, the part of me that wants to be with her still came back tonight a bit and i just feel like having an emo night... lol. it'll be ok tho tomorrow. the show i'm in opens tomorrow night so i gotta be ready for that.

[not my real name]

Gah!! I just broke my first day of my third attempt at nc...

 

Typed an offline message to him in msn with the idea of just venting and then closing it before I would click send and then accidentally hit enter!!! Damn lol. Back to square one. Hmph.

[Crows]

Gah!! I just broke my first day of my third attempt at nc...

 

Typed an offline message to him in msn with the idea of just venting and then closing it before I would click send and then accidentally hit enter!!! Damn lol. Back to square one. Hmph.

 

Oh dear god.

 

The other night I was drunk and i tpyed " i miss you" opn a text knowing i wouldnt send it.. thank god I didnt do what you did.

[not my real name]

Oh dear god.

 

The other night I was drunk and i tpyed " i miss you" opn a text knowing i wouldnt send it.. thank god I didnt do what you did.

 

Well I find typing up emails that I don't plan on sending somehow strangely theraputic. You get what you want to say off your chest without actually affecting the situation. I think I'll stick to fake emails rather than msn messages. How embarrassing!

[CreoUCLA]

I think I'll stick to fake emails rather than msn messages.

 

That's why I use MS Word to type up those letters... There are more steps involved than just putting in an e-mail address/phone number and clicking "send."

 

-Mike-

[not my real name]

That's why I use MS Word to type up those letters... There are more steps involved than just putting in an e-mail address/phone number and clicking "send."

 

-Mike-

 

That's actually great advice! I never ever put the address in any email until I'm about to send it, but your word idea is far more secure! I'm such an idiot *banghead*

[Reddy]

DAY 8

 

This is the longest i've been able to go NC for. sweet! on the downside i woke up this morning wanting her right there with me. it's the first day i've felt like that / woken up sad in a while - couple weeks probably... damn, i wish these days didn't exist. i wish it was all progress and no relapse... lol but hanging tough to the NC

[CreoUCLA]

Day 3

 

I had the usual "wake up early in the morning and think about the ex" routine. However, when I fell back asleep for another hour, I had a dream where I met/dated a completely wonderful woman. So, needless to say, I woke up with an energy I don't think I've had in a while.

 

After reading another thread, I realized the real reason she broke up with me was to go see if the "grass is greener." Our relationship got a bit stale, heading into our 6th year together, and the new guy she met gave her attention and excitement. Honestly, I hope the grass is greener... Because I won't be letting her back onto my lawn.

 

Tonight I'm going out to dinner with friends, and I plan on having a great time!

 

Have faith everyone... Brighter days lie ahead!

 

-Mike-

[CreoUCLA]

That's actually great advice! I never ever put the address in any email until I'm about to send it, but your word idea is far more secure! I'm such an idiot *banghead*

 

You're not an idiot... And I'm glad I could help show you another method.

 

-Mike-

[princess_summer_blue84]

superdave71,

 

I want to NOT contact email removed and I don't want him to contact me can u help ? If so, PM me please!

[blindreepr]

Day 5 Complete, Day 6 Starting

 

It's starting to get alittle bit easier. Still the urge to call or text or IM is there. Luckily I've held off all of the above. I seriously thought about driving by where she usually parks her car last night since it is on my way home but I gathered the strength to not to do it. It wouldn't help anything if I did.

 

Meanwhile I actually had a good time last night with friends, laughed, made jokes, etc. Mornings and night time are the worst though. I guess it's just the habit of talking to her everyday that I am trying to break. I still want her back but I am more concentrating on working on myself now. If she doesn't ever come back to me then it means she was never really in love with me and I am better off. I just need to keep telling myself that. I deserve someone who is willing to be as committed to me as I am to them.

[not my real name]

Okay, so registering for day one again after yesterday afternoon's stuff up. I feel so much stronger when I don't see/talk to him. I hate that he has all the control.

 

I will be checking for any of my mail at his place this afternoon when I know he won't be home from work yet and placing an envelope in his letterbox with his sister's earrings inside with a note that says: "Hey, these are (sister's name). Could you please give them to her if you see her before she goes away. Thanks" - that won't count as contact if I keep it that short and neutral right?

 

I have to really stay away and gather my strength. I'm supposed to be attending an all-weekend workshop with his Mum the weekend after next and there will be a 2 x 2hr long return car trips so I need to relax a little before I can handle that! Eek.

[Crows]

Day 4 of NC ended again.. she initiated an msn convo. It's very positive, and very good to hear from her. We're talking like normal and it's very enjoyable. She's such a great girl.

[princess_summer_blue84]

Faver who? I don't know anyone by that name! ( all smiles and laughs) !!!!!