Would you do it all again if you knew then what you know now???

[Budman]

Well I suppose there has to be some limits to the question for me to be able to answer this with any sort of credibility at least on my part.

 

Would I do it again, exactly the same knowing what I know now?

 

In essense this question asks, if the opportunity to be with that person (or persons) would come to light now, would I do it? The answer is no, because I have already learned my lessons and made myself better from them and knowing the potential drama or heartache there would be no reason to "repeat" along the same line.

 

Now, if the question is:

 

IF you could choose to relive those moments, erasing the knowledge gained from the outcome as before, would you?

 

In essense this question asks, if you could choose to avoid the pain and hardship to gain these new traits and characteristics would you?

I would, simply because I am a much better person, boyfriend, and potential husband then I once was. I now have the capacity for a much stronger love, and a much more meaningful love. Would I choose this trial again, Most definitely.

 

If you had the opportunity to start over, with the gained knowledge but not the hardships or "prediction" of how it will go, would you?

 

I personally feel this is dating in general. You date, learn from your mistakes, find new people to get along with and find new and better partners to be with. So, as I said before I would in a heartbeat.

 

IF you could go back and change something with that particular person would you?

 

IF you could go back in time, and change your reactions to certain things with the new knowledge that you know in an essense, would you?

 

I would not go back and try to "save" a dead relationship, I feel that a dead relationship is just that a dead relationship, I hate to put it this way (I hate the idea of its meant to be) but it's meant to be dead it will be. Another issue will come up, and another and there will be no saving it aka if it has died once it will die again. I would much rather have a rocky relationship that two people have to constantly compromise or have fights because eventually that should change (as long as one doesn't give up) because its not dead and does have life in it. Once it's "I'm done" and it's been more than a day or a few days it's truly over in my opinion... So in essense no I would not change anything in my past because in essense I believe the same outcomes will result with just a different backstory.

[Parsley]

If I knew everything I know now...I'm still undecided. He did make me ridiculously happy, but then also unbearably depressed and insecure. I'm in the process of weighing up the good times against the bad - but finding it really difficult not to disbelieve everything he ever said when we were happy as a result of everything he told me when we broke up. Which wasn't much, and left a LOT of room for me to fill in the gaps with what I think happened. Not the best idea of his, because I'm resenting him more and more as the days go by!

[Foz]

the good times were good but he ruined it all by the way he broke up with me, when i think of him all i can think is why did he have to destroy me to make leaving easier on him...sometimes i can remember a good time but straight away i think of the way he left and how i felt afterwards...

it doesnt help that he moved on and was in another relationship within 3 months and 28 months later, im still single and have huge trust issues!!

 

Still i am a stronger, more resillient person for having gone through the break up but i wouldnt wish what i went through on anyone...

 

I still feel J wasted 3.5 years of my life (plus another 1.5 spent crying over him) when i could have been out there meeting someone else who really wanted me....

 

Now i cant even meet someone cos they are all hooked up or completely messed up cos of a divorce or break up..and if i do meet someone i usually run away after a day of two!!!

[Honey_30]

good question.

 

i think i would do it all again..cause for all the crap at the end and all the pain..we had so many good times together..he really made me laugh.feel good. and loved me so much ONCE !

 

i guess it makes it hard for the next relationship though..cause now i know how good things can get.

[Parsley]

The worst part seems to be remembering the good times. Anytime I do now...I flinch with embarrassment and shame. I just can't trust that he wasn't already thinking about how to get out of it, even when he was telling me he wanted to marry me.

[spikespiegel]

Even though right now I'm still in the thick of feeling rejected and down from our breakup, I would definitely do it all over again. The 14 months I spent with my ex-girlfriend were honestly the best times of my life.

 

The only thing I would change would be to have improved our communication a bit, and then maybe those 14 months would have turned into years...

[Orlander]

Yes, without hesitation I would do it again. I learned a lot from this relationship, including how to really love someone.

 

I thank my ex for the lessons I learned and my future wife, I am sure, will thank her too.

 

 

Orlander

[Benson]

To be quite honest, I would do it all over again and listen to my instincts instead of my heart and gotten rid of her

 

and not have wasted the last 8 months of the relationship.

[KoopaTroopa]

I'd do it all again and make some changes if I could, but even if I couldn't make changes, I'd still do it all again. The happiest memories of my entire life are of the time I shared with her, and I would never ever give that up. I have regrets about how the relationship turned out, and how I conducted myself at certain points, but I could never regret the relationship itself, and I could definitely never regret loving her.

[Tag]

My therapist asked me this question.

 

This is more or less what I told her...

 

I feel much stronger now and I think I could handle the relationship a lot more maturely than I did if I did it again. I think my behaviour caused a lot of the decline of my relationship, and I could prevent that having learned what I've learned. My ex however, is equally guilty of the destruction... so unless he learned something and applied it too, the same thing would probably happen.

 

I think the reason we were attracted to each other in the first place, was because of the path in life we were both on at the time that we met. If I had to meet him again, would I still be attracted to the whole person as I was? I often fantasize of going back and changing little things just to see the possible different outcome.

 

thereforeeee, I don't think going back and doing it again would be a wise choise... though I would do it all again in a hearbeat anyway. Another chance, even if it failed, might crush the hope I ever have of being with him again. ...and that would help a lot in me moving on, has painful as it would be. I might learn more and become even stronger by the experience as well...

 

If I knew then what I know now, I would now know something I wish I knew back then!

Well put...