bebecole Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 the past few days me and my b/f have been TRYING to have anal.. im a little scared but more excited to try it.. (sorry for the poor grammer) but when he puts it in it hurts really bad and i tell him to stop. is there any certain postition or way to be.. and what type of lube is good? we have kinda been trying lotion....#-o which i know isnt the best idea.. please any advice would help for 2nite Link to comment
kryptik0 Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 Use KY Jelly or something like that. Lotion is not going to help. Also, this is an area where you need to take time doing things, go very slow and let him know what hurts and what doesn't. You need to relax your muscles (sphincter), so rubbing that area gently for 15-20 minutes would not only arouse you but also relax the muscles. Link to comment
BornToResist Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 Lotion?? Ow! Try anything water based, like astroglide (they sell that at most drugstores like CVS, Walgreens, etc.) but if you go to a sex shop, they have so many different ones. I suggest you get the most simple kind...nothing with "warming" sensations or smells/tastes. Just simple, boring, water based lube. Secondly, the position that has worked for me in the past is doggy, but then again this is sometimes too much. You can just sit up and make him stay still and control how fast/far, etc everything is. I highly suggest using a vibrator during...it helps A LOT. Link to comment
prtygrl1973 Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 the past few days me and my b/f have been TRYING to have anal.. im a little scared but more excited to try it.. (sorry for the poor grammer) but when he puts it in it hurts really bad and i tell him to stop. is there any certain postition or way to be.. and what type of lube is good? we have kinda been trying lotion....#-o which i know isnt the best idea.. please any advice would help for 2nite SLOW..............VERY VERY SLOW --- like REALLLLLLY SLow, yes, KY and all that but just don't "force it in" ! slow, slow slow did i mention slow!! LOL like 1/2 inch at a time (maybe an inch) till you feel comfortable... maybe have a cocktail first! Good luck! YES, agree on the doggy style!!! i use VIVA --- Link to comment
kr356 Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 like everyone has said, use a waterbased lube, not lotion.. and very slow, maybe he can start with some fingers first then slowly move onto other things.. and if it is too painful stop, try again some other time.. my bf wanted to try this and he was so patient with me, it took a long time for us to get there and it still hurts sometimes.. and it feels odd.. but good in a way.. so just dont rush into it... i've also heard that you on your back is the best way for beginners Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 Something you could try would be him putting his fingers in (covered in a condom or latex gloves) to get you used to the sensation and learn to relax into it without it being a big shock. Replenish the lube! The anus does not self-lubricate like the vagina so you have to make sure to reapply to keep everything happy down there. Link to comment
bebecole Posted January 4, 2007 Author Share Posted January 4, 2007 Thank You All! Youve Helped Alot!! Link to comment
Northalius Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 agent beat me to it : Tell him to use one finger at first. When it's okay, then use two, slowly! Then when that's okay, three, and then four... always slowly. Then when you get used to it, let him try his own private inside of you. Try to push out, like having a baby. it helps open it up and let something large inside. And yes, try to relax! Link to comment
Mrs Elliott Smith Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 you also might want to get an enema beforehand... i've heard others talk about doing this, so i cannot say that this is from personal experience. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 ok, lube, and lots of it AND, for your first few times... fingers.. one at a time and TAKE IT SLOW... not only will it hurt you, but it can hurt him as well if you try force it in... you have to concentrate on relaxing your muscles, if you tense up, it hurts... badly... GOOD LUCK Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 Don't enema. Or atleast not very soon beforehand as it takes away the natural "juices" in the anus and can leave you more susceptible to stds and tearing. Link to comment
joiseygrl Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 I don't know if anyone has mentioned this because I briefly scanned the replies. So I'm sorry if I'm just repeating things. It's really only the first inch or so of your anus that has a ton of nerve endings. I found that once my lover has the head past the first 2 inches, it's not as "tight" feeling. Just relax, go slow and use LOTS and LOTS of water based lube. (We like KY) I have also found that manual stimulation of the clit helps ease things along. Link to comment
zerohalo Posted January 7, 2007 Share Posted January 7, 2007 You've already gotten some good advice, but I'm going to attempt to offer some more. First of all, you have to want it and be excited by it. If you're scared and nervous, your butt is going to reflect that emotional state. It's ok to be scared and nervous, but you've got to have the desire to overcome them. I strongly suggest that you two do lots of other foreplay before trying anal. People's pain tolerance goes up when they're turned on, and at some point (if you're really doing this because you want it) you're going to get that itch and want to go for it. If you're comfortable with it, have him perform analingus on you. Many women have found that to be the gateway to anal sex because it feels so good. And chances are, it'll help you relax and want more. Then, start to do what others have said. Use water based lube, a vibe on your clit, and start with fingers and work your way up. If you like toys, get a series of progressively larger butt plugs. Start small and work your way up. Link to comment
mike_chppr Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I agree with most everything here, Lube (basic waterbased), your anal canal doesn't self lubricate so you won't be able to just put lube on and even slowly stick it in. it is a process. You have to be relaxed and want to enjoy the process. you can practice on your own with a dildo, lube the outside of your anus with a goop of lube and massage the wrinkles and then slowly slip in a finger and extract, get used to doing it to yourself, before letting him go there. Find your comfort, see if you can do one LUBRICATED finger then two LUBRICATED fingers I don't know about FOUR that seems a little much to me. There is an anal toy I think called the ripple that has a graduated cylendrical ripples to it. I would practice with yourself and a dildo first. Make sure and relieve yourself before because as he pulls out it will feel like you are taking a crap and if there is any crap in there it is following his thing on the way out! This could be a very unpleasant experinence for the both of you. I don't recommend an enema though. If you take a crap a half hour or hour before your extracurricular activities you should be alright. This is also why I recommend working with yourself and a dildo, use lots of lube everytime you insert there should be more lube, his thang should be very well lubricated as well, I'm talking dripping lubricated. You can put some lube in a condom and twist it in, then pull the condom over your fingers pinching where you twisted the lube in, kind of like you were using a plastic bag to pick up a dog crap. Then you can insert the condom with your fingers and release the twist putting the lube on the inside, the outside is easy it is getting the lube on the inside that is difficult. I recommend practicing in the bathtub just in case you have an um... accident. Trust me not a wivestale, I'm speaking from experience on this one. I really enjoy anal sex. But here is the MAJOR, MAJOR RULE.... Nothing that goes into your anus should come anywhere near your vagina. that includes his thang. without a very complete cleaning. Because of this I used condoms during anal so I could slip it off and be reared to go for vaginal intercourse. PM me I have some more things, but I don't think it is appropriate for a public board. mike_chppr Link to comment
handsdown Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I had problems with anal at first as well. The advice everyone gave on here is great but I wanted to add, breathing really helps. When I was first getting used to having anal sex, my boyfriend would spoon me and put it in literally half an inch at a time with breaks as long as I needed to adjust. I found breathing slowly out the mouth and in the nose really helped with relaxation. Once fully in he could usually start thrusting but very slowly. It has taken me awhile to get used to anal sex, it was downright unpleasant for months and now it's gotten to the point of bearable and I've even had one orgasm with anal sex which was different! I don't use any lube though, I find my own juices are the most comfortable, lube irritated me and felt cold which made me tense up. My boyfriend will have vaginal sex with me to lube up before entering and that's enough. Like someone else said, don't ever go anal to vaginal...bad news...not healthy!! Which reminds me...now I have to go post a new topic! Happy bum sex!! Link to comment
NATURALLY YOURS Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Take Your Time Anal Sex Takes Time To Get Use To... But When You It Feels Great Link to comment
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