Non-religous attractive?

[Boughs]

Is it unattractive to not be religious?

 

As a 20 year old male, I am athiest. I tend to fall into that topic with even casual conversations near religious holidays. I tend to not want to celebrate holidays as they are commercializations of days of importance for those that trully believe in the birth/re-birth of jesus etc.

 

Anywho, I was wondering if people (girls in particular) here find guys that are not attatched to religion, unattractive.

 

This applies to other people who aren't even religious either... do you find that even if you are athiest you tend to be more attracted to those that believe in religion?

 

I myself seem to be more attracted to women that like the spirit of the holidays and the giving... maybe go to church once a year. Any more and kind of any less and I don't seem to find them attractive. I like a girl that is also associated with their family pretty well... even though I am COMPLETELY disassociated from my family. Just meaning, we never were that close... not that we hate each other or anything (which is far from the reality of it).

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Entirely depends upon the guys and girls in question.

 

It stands to reason that, as an atheist, you are going to get on better with someone who shares your views than, say, a devout Roman Catholic, for obvious reasons! And people generally find others of their own faith more attractive, although of course this would depend upon how devout they are/which faith they ascribe to in the first place.

 

Personally, I am not of any particular religion, but I am extremely interested in theological/religious matters - as in, I enjoy learning about/debating about different world faiths.

 

Funny you should post this, I've just spent an hour reading an interpretation/study guide of the Qu'ran!

 

My boyfriend is not at all concerned with religion etc - he is an atheist like yourself. And whilst a spiritually concerned individual is attractive to me, it isn't the be all and end all - I love my boyfriend very much despite lack of spiritual inclination!

[Caterina]

This is a personal question that will vary with everyone but personally I prefer religious men. I don't find non-religious men unattractive but I wouldn't consider them for a serious relationship considering that I'm religious myself. Also, I prefer them to be of the same religion that I am.

[LostInMyThoughts]

You don't have to be religious to be into the spirit of the holidays. My gf loves christmas, and she's agnostic (or athiest depending on the day). I'm also agnostic and I love christmas.

 

I'm fairly spiritual, but I don't particularly like people who are so obtuse that they see that not every has to believe the same way that they do.

[annie24]

i think it's all about compatibility. i think that you probably wouldn't be very compatible with a very religious person, you'd probably be best off with another woman who is an atheist or at least only mildly religious. wouldn't it be a turn off for you to be with someone who is incredibly devout and was nagging you every 5 minutes to convert?

[Day_Walker]

I think that when it creates difficulty then it is deemed not to be desirable. I am sure that some girls will say it is unattractive but there are some that wont it is just going to depend on the girl. Personally I dont think it matters as long as both people accept what they other person is and leave it at that.

[Boughs]

Hmm answers I presumed to be the case.

 

Well... for me, meeting someone else who is athiest makes them slightly more unattractive. I seem to see that they are less "lady-like" which is a quality I don't tend to like. Less religious less ladylike, more religious more ladylike. (seems to me to by synonomous)

 

So like someone said I like a mild case of both (mediums, center of contrast, simple answer of course I can't date someone who is athiest (even though I'm damn hard set in my ways of being athiest). I can't date someone who is highly religious, I seem to be attracted to the agnostics and the, "I go to church once a year" kind of girls.

 

I don't know if they get shunned away by the fact that I am athiest. It doesn't matter to me as I will be who I want to be, but I think knowing the other side will help me censor things better in conversation to stay away from those athiest remarks. Sometimes its hard conversing with someone who is set in their theist ways, as I tend to fall back on the fact that I don't think there was a omniscient creator (varies upon each religion I know, but primarily they are jewish or christian in my town). Especially becomes apparent when I talk philosophy... seems to really shun people away from continuing to talk... or I get the "YOU SHOULD COME TO CHURCH AND CONVERT" talk

 

I don't like that

[easyguy]

Don't get wrapped up in labels. I'm this, you're that. She's that, he's this. All religions, I have found, are quite similar from a doctrinal standpoint. I am a Buddhist, but I respect all religions and those who are not religious - because before I adopted the religion thing, I was not religious at all. As long as someone is not influencing you to convert to their religion, there should not be a problem. Give each other space and respect what each other does.

[Caterina]

Its odd to see the weird, various things that guys choose to call "lady-like". I've been called lady-like by a lot of men and I've had some men tell me that I was the farthest thing from lady like that they've ever met. Some examples I can think of are that some guys think that a strong woman is lady-like because she's capable of handling a lot...others say that a strong woman isn't lady-like because it somehow lacks a delicate nature. Regardless of what people think of me, I am who I am and I certainly don't have my beliefs because I think someone will think that I am more lady-like. I don't see how being atheist is masculine or being theist is lady-like...to me, thats like saying wearing green is lady-like and wearing white isn't.

Attraction is a weird thing...often we think that certain attractions have meaning and we put even more assumptive meaning on top of that meaning when really it was something else alltogether. Maybe its not so much that you are attracted to mildly religious women as something else.

[Caterina]

Don't get wrapped up in labels. I'm this, you're that. She's that, he's this. All religions, I have found, are quite similar from a doctrinal standpoint. I am a Buddhist, but I respect all religions and those who are not religious - because before I adopted the religion thing, I was not religious at all. As long as someone is not influencing you to convert to their religion, there should not be a problem. Give each other space and respect what each other does.

When it comes to conversion, I've always thought it was strange that people think it was such a terrible thing that people desire others to convert to their point of view and actively seek to do so. If you think something is right, and you believe that you have enough compassion to share/influence people with that correct/right thing you believe...its only natural to share it with someone else. For instance, if you think that giving is better then stealing and you spy a friend who is constantly stealing...its only natural to try and make that friend come to your point of view about the better actions of giving over stealing. Now, if people are pushy, or rude or oppressive, thats when the ethics of attempts at conversion become more questionable.

[Boughs]

don't see how being atheist is masculine or being theist is lady-like...to me, thats like saying wearing green is lady-like and wearing white isn't.

 

From that statement I'm afraid I made you feel upset. I didn't mean to be, its just an observation I've had.

 

I of course understand the stereotypes vs truth... but I think we tend to stereotype because everything in our minds catagorizes so that we can remember things the best we can. So in general (and I have met the exceptions of course) I tend to see athiest girls to be stronger (less ladylike in some areas) while religious girls tend to be more of the prissy type.

 

There are exceptions I know, but on average this is what I've noticed.

[Boughs]

When it comes to conversion, I've always thought it was strange that people think it was such a terrible thing that people desire others to convert to their point of view and actively seek to do so. If you think something is right, and you believe that you have enough compassion to share/influence people with that correct/right thing you believe...its only natural to share it with someone else. For instance, if you think that giving is better then stealing and you spy a friend who is constantly stealing...its only natural to try and make that friend come to your point of view about the better actions of giving over stealing. Now, if people are pushy, or rude or oppressive, thats when the ethics of attempts at conversion become more questionable.

 

I tend to think conversion in RELIGIOUS terms is a bad thing. I think everyone needs to make this decision on their own. If they wish to learn more they'll ask. If it comes up in a philisophical discussion, then that is fine. But when i tell someone "i'm atheist" and they start ranting without easing in... then that pisses me off.

[Caterina]

Of course I'm not upset. I disagree with you, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I have an emotional attachment to anything you're saying. I really need to learn to convey that to people...a lot of people think I am angry when I disagree with them for some reason. On some level, I appreciate people who have different points of views because it livens up my life a little.

I don't think its really tactful for someone to rant at you when you tell them that you are an atheist...I wouldn't really do that to someone myself. However, I don't think that there is anything wrong with telling people why I believe what I believe in hopes of conversion, either.

Your observational conclusions have obvious logical holes...which I'm sure you recognize...just because you encountered certain situations within the boundaries of where you've been doesn't mean that is the way things are...and of course you mentioned exceptions.

Anyways, thanks for bringing up an interesting topic.

[applepie]

I'm a 20 year old athiest and I wouldn't be with a guy who was religious. Agnostic would be fine, or a non practicing religious person, but I couldn't deal with being with someone who believes in something that I don't agree with, or believe in.

 

As far as christmas goes, I use it as a time to be with my family and exchange gifts to show them I care. There is never any mention of religion in my family on christmas. It's a fun day and I look forward to it every year.

[TheRedQueen]

I've never dated a religious man, nor do I think I could. But by being an atheist myself, I happen to find atheism in a man to be a *highly* attractive quality.