red flags

[toomuchdietcola]

I want as many ppl's opinion on this as possible, ok.

 

I've been chatting with a guy for about three months now. We both like each other. I met him once in person in a public place. It wasn't really a date, just a friendly thing. Anyways, I really like this guy. We get along well, we talk about everything. I have met guys over the Net before, but it has never worked. I feel like this person is my friend. I can be myself around him, don't have to hide anything. I have confided so much in him already. He syas lots of supportive things to me, and he's always telling me how cool I am, how great I am, how pretty I am, etc.

 

so here's the thing. I don't want to get hurt. I am used to guys cheating on me. In my experience, the first time I try to be nice to a guy, or show em, or tell em how much I like them, they go the other way. They act like they don't like me as much anymore. And I have a history of ignoring red flags.

 

so here's the red flag, this guy is newly single, (since shortly before we started talking I think)and he won't call me on the phone, he says if women call the house his family will report it back to his ex, who will keep his kid away from him out of jealousy. I really really want to believe this, but it sounds fishy. The more I talk to ppl about it, the more they say "get rid of him, come to your senses" They fill me full of ideas like, he's still with her, he's trying to get out of paying child support, he's a player, he left his family," stuff like that. are these ppl just bitter or trying to help, or both?

 

somebody asked me, what does your gut say, well in the beginning I trusted him totally, but now I'm having doubts, possibly it's triggered by meeting him in person. cuz I want to see him again, but i also want him to call me. I don't want to get involved with somebody that's going to hurt me, either. my last BF cheated on me and was planning to move in with the woman behind my back. I'm worried i'm never going to meet a guy who doesn't lie.

 

I want to be friends with this guy, I want to get to know him, i want to spend time with him! I want to explain to him why this is important to me, but other (older) women say, "let him chase you". I just don't know what to do. I'm tired of making mistakes, I'm tired of having unfullfilling relationships.

[agent1607307371]

It does sound incredibly fishy.

 

Why would his family want him to lose visitation of his kid?

 

And if he was paying support, his ex would not be able to keep the child away legally just because he is seeing someone else.

[luvursmile]

Sounds kinda fishy to me too. His ex-wife cannot keep him from seeing his children out of jealousy. He is the father, he has a legal right to see his children. So, I wouldnt buy that bit.

I would have to agree with your friends...let him chase you.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Sorry, sounds dodgy to me. I don't think it's a goer, to be honest. If you want a penpal online, then he's your man, giving you ego boosts etc. If you want something more 'real', even someone you can phone, then this is not for you. I know, I sound so miserable, but it just doesn't sound at all right. Look after yourself, put yourself first - what advice would you honestly give this post if you just read it cold? It doesn't sound good, I would get out now.

[DizzyDoris]

Im sorry too because i have to agree with everyone else, these excuses sound highly unlikely to me. I would even go as far to say i think he probably still lives with his kids mum. It just sounds so dodgy, a man that genuinely likes you will call you because he's so into you that he needs to hear your voice. He will want to talk about what sort of day you've had!

 

As for his line if "WOMEN" call his house?!! Player alert! how many women has he got?!

 

Trust your gut feeling and if all your friends are giving you the same advice, they cant all be wrong now can they?! I think they are just looking out for you.

[IntoTheFire]

hmm...yeah I gotta agree with the rest of the guys on this one.

 

Doesn't he have a cellphone?

 

Couldn't he literally wait by the phone and answer when you call?

 

Couldn't he call you?