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I've come a long way since I left my ex husband over a year ago, but I'm still addicted to checking out his and his gf's myspace pages. (Which is where I got hard evidence of his affair in the first place.) I used to do it every day before the trial in case they or a friend mentioned something I could use in court. And I promised myself that once the divorce was final I would stop checking. But I can't. I don't do it every day... maybe 3 or 4 times a week. I'm over him and want nothing to do with him. I think I'm hoping to see that they've broken up or something. I guess I'm just asking if this is normal. I know I'm better off without him, I'm happy now that he's out of my life. I'm happier with my life now than I've ever been... but I can't seem to stop checking their pages. Any ideas how to stop? Will this just dwindle until I don't do it any more? Arg!!! I HATE the fact that I still do this.

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Wean yourself away from it.


Try only 3 times a week for two weeks. Say Sunday, Wednesday and Friday.


Then Monday and Thursday for a week.


Then Wednesday for a week.


The every other Wednesday.


Then once a month if you remember.


Then stop.

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Hi joiseygrl


Maybe this will help: Its very possible that your ex or his gf or both, have a tracker and know exactly when you check their page.


And if that doesn't help - its basically a habit, like smoking. You just gotta stop. Even if you're not feeling bad now you will still feel better once you've stopped.


I used to check my exes dating site. He took it down but I still checked to see if he put it up again. Until I stopped. I cant tell you how much better I feel.


BTW I did it very much like DN recommends.

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Argh...Myspace is da Devil!!! kidding. There is still a part of you, joiseygrl that is still not over your ex and it is, in part, manifesting itself through your repeated use of myspace to check up on him.


Try following DN's advice to ween yourself away from his profile. If that doesnt work, check back here and we will have more things to try out.




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Grr myspace. I swear that site ruins more relationships, including my 4 years of dating someone.. we start to fall on bad times, she makes a page.. we break up. I refuse to check it, and see her e-flirting. girls being skanks on the internet publicly for everyone to see. Sorry..I'm bitter.

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There is still a part of you, joiseygrl that is still not over your ex and it is, in part, manifesting itself through your repeated use of myspace to check up on him.


Id have to agree with Orlander 100%: You need to set a goal, that goal being to stop looking at his myspace. Really. This is hurting you.


At this point, you need to focus 100% on your life, on what is important to you. Be selfish!


You mentioned you needed to check his site for "legal" reasons. I love ya, but I dont buy it. Have a friend do it! We are looking out for you ( the #1).


Set the goal, work towards it. We are here if you feel weak!


Best regards,


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About a month ago, I was invited to check out my X's MySpace page. she sent me the invite. For about a week I ignored it, then I lapsed and checked it out. Big mistake. It was b@#$y and self-serving and aimed to hurt me.

Very passive aggressive revenge aimed at me. I was crushed beyond words.


This may not be the case in your situation but, my point is; stop looking at it. It is a direct portal into their lives and goes against all the rules of proper NC.



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