Alone in a new town

[elithepi]

Hello people, I've been in a new town at a new job because I had to take the job. I'm four hours away from the girl I love and I frequently visited her. Everything had been going wonderfully, no fights, just laughter. She's the type of girl who doesn't like pressure so I played it cool.

A couple weekes ago I wanted to visit her again on the nearing weekend.

That's when she said that it wasn't right. She felt that I liked her more than she liked me and it wasn't fair to continue. Almost 2 years of having a great time. We became best of friends unlike any other relationship I'd known.

I'm 32 years old and this hurts so freaking bad. Everyday is meaningless. I feel so isolated. I have no friends in this place. I call her just to talk then I start crying and she wants to get off the phone. She was my support system and now it's gone. She loves me but not in love with me. ARGHHH! Will this ever end? I thought THIS was the one. Absolutely no fights ever. We played games, cooked, very affectionate. Any words of wisdom?

[herewegoagain]

Well, first of alll, I wouldn't call her anymore. I know that it will be hard for you, but do not call her anymore.

 

By not calling her, you will accomplish 2 things: 1) You will heal a lot faster than if you were to keep calling her and crying to her. 2) She might realize what she has lost if you are not calling her all the time. But don't expect it.

 

Again, DO NOT CALL HER. You must stick to it - do not give in. Calling will only make things worse. Trust me - I've been there.

 

Get out there and make new friends and get to know people. You will find someone. Just be patient.

[bigheart09]

I am sorry you have to go through this especially being in a new town. If speaking with her makes you feel worse, not better, then start NC. Try getting out there and meeting new people. Easier said than done, but going out once in a while will help. I am a person that cries a lot, and I feel that helps me heal. Being on ENA has helped me so much. Start reading others posts and you will feel better knowing you are not alone. Stay strong, you will make it

[elithepi]

Hell, it was funny the first few days....I did call her and acted like I was cool with it. We talked as friends about work and other things. Then like 5 days later it sunk in and that's when I lost it. I guess denial kept me cool for the first few phone calls now it like a deep dark pit.

This has really distracted me from work. I constantly wonder what she's doing and to top it off News Years marks 2 years we met, I then "courted" her for several months before anything sexual happened so I thought I was doing it all well. Getting to know someone....it was really nice. It's deffinitely a friendship I want to hold on to.

[bigheart09]

Well, before you can think about friendship you have to get over the idea of being with her as a boyfriend. Sometimes, not talking for a while will help this.

[elithepi]

We can still talk.....I'm guilty, I just spoke with her and said good morning, yeah, she anwered. I'd like to keep it up, the communication. Not pressure or talk about the pain with her.

But as we continue communication, which is nice, when should I initiate "trying it again" because I think she is confused and afraid of commitment. Kinda strange that the guy here is complaining about a girl not wanting to commit.

I do feel better after speaking this morning with her. Maybe I should just play it cool for a while and then ask her if she would like to see each other?

Damn this is tough.

[Dizziblonde]

I finished with my ex just 2 weeks b4 christmas but he keeps on asking me2 reconsider &even says he found someone else but finished with her after a week as he was thinking of me when he was with her.He misses me but I dont want him back.

This is the first time I've been in this position but I am guilty of one thing,

I do quite like the attention &2b honest if he did stop suddenly I'd miss him.

When he was busy 4a few days I did miss his attention but really dont want 2b with him.

We were friends 2start with but he says he cud never b just friends again.I told a friend about him &they said 'Has he no dignity?'

I dont want 2b harsh,I just want 2help_hence the honesty.

Sorry 4 long message!x